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Good day. My name is Miles Edgeworth; I am with the Security team. As ever, I would like to request that any new arrivals with expertise in law enforcement, the military, or combat contact me to discuss potential employment.

[He would also like to request that all you dicks stop talking about The Worst Holiday Ever, thanks. And he would like to distract you from it with this:]

I should like, also, to discuss our backgrounds. I have done this in the past, I will grant, and as such I beg a bit of patience from those who have previously seen such questions. Nevertheless, I believe that discovering the commonalities amongst us will assist in the uncovering of the reason why we were brought here; more, a general census will, I think, assist in preventing people from falling through the cracks, as it were.

[And it will GET YOU BASTARDS TO SHUT UP ABOUT CHRISTMAS FOR FIFTEEN GODDAMN SECONDS]

I have attached a text document. Kindly open this document, fill it out, and submit it to me. Note that number five is quite optional, but an answer would be appreciated and potentially quite helpful.

1. Your name: 2. Your age: 3. Your occupation: 4. Your level of education: 5. (Optional) Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness? (Note: This can be either professional diagnosis or self-diagnosis.): 6. Have you ever been involved in crime or criminal activity (either as victim of same or as perpetrator)?: 7. Have you ever been involved in violence or a violent act (either as victim of same or as perpetrator)?: 8. How long have you been here?:

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Nothing about trying to understand what's happening around us is idle curiosity -- but if you need to know, I spent twenty years as a private investigator in New York before I was brought here. So yeah, I've got a desire for trying to solve this mystery too.

Hmph. I will confess little affection for those in your line of work.

[Not that you'd know it by how charming he finds Veronica Mars.]

But a fellow investigator does deserve some regard. I will provide data stripped of any identifying details if you so wish.

[Oh so he's dealing with one of those types.] And why's that? A PI rub your fur the wrong way or something?

[Not that he particularly cares. Any offense he might take to that remark is incredibly watered down by a practiced air of disregard for a stranger's opinions of his character.] That's fair enough. I don't need names, I need circumstances.

Because in my experience - and I hope that you will not take offense at this, sir - if one is an able investigator, one is simply taken on by the police to investigate crimes of consequence rather than matters of cheating spouses and the like. And I have studied more than one case where side investigations impeded the path of justice.

But very well; I shall do as much. Is there a particular question which has piqued your interest?

None taken. But you might not be taking into consideration the clients that don't see a need to drag the police into their own personal business, or the investigators that don't have a mind for the politics of law enforcement.

My first question should be easy enough for you to answer. I'd like to know exactly what your profession was, or is. [Though the phrase "studied more than one case" does already give him an idea. No harm in clarifying then.]

[A slight pause; that was an unexpected question.]

That is somewhat outside the scope of the data I promised to you, but very well. At the moment, I serve as the clerk for the Security department; prior to the Tranquility, I worked as a prosecutor in Los Angeles.

Maybe, but I figure we might as well get the formalities out of the way. Only fair. [Prosecutor. That explains a lot. He was nearly sure he smelled lawyer in the midst of their conversation.] Name's Booker DeWitt.

[And now since that is out of the way:] As for proper sort of questions, I'd like to know if the majority of people here come from a certain universe -- or a just a similar geographical location if that's too unconventional. Time periods, too.

[When Edgeworth responds, he's terse, but his tone is quite civil. For all his standoffishness, Edgeworth is pretty impressed by DeWitt so far. He's impressively level-headed.]

Edgeworth.

And while there are no absolute rules regarding our origin, there are certain trends. A large cluster of people are Anglophone, with Americans more common than any other nationality. There is another smaller cluster located in Japan. A very large number come from the early 2000s. No one universe has provided a majority of the people here, but certain universes have provided more passengers than others; nevertheless, no one universe has provided more than about 10 individuals.

[While prone to mild (and sometimes not so mild) irritation, Booker does his best to be as down-to-Earth as possible. In return, he can overlook Edgeworth's reserved demeanor due to the fact that he's already become one of the more informative people on the ship he's spoken with.]

All right. You mentioned violent pasts; in what way? War? Personal strife? Or is it all over the board?

Having suffered through or participated in war is quite common, yes, but truly, it is all over the board, as you say. Many more were victims of crime.

You are familiar with the...more unusual elements of the ship, correct? The so-called supernatural elements?

I've done enough nosin' around to know that there are people who ain't exactly human, and people who are human but possess skills otherwise not normal. [A beat.] And there are some who weren't human before, but've been made more... tangible when the ship brings them here.

If that's what you're asking.

Quite so, sir. Many more still seem to have been drawn into conflicts as a direct result of their inhuman or superhuman abilities or natures.

And I'd say you be onto something if not for the fact that I'm sure that rule doesn't apply to everyone. There has to be a few people here with normal lives and normal professions.

[not that he can verify that, so it's just an assumption for now. But a fair one, he'd bet.]

I asked. I found only one, out of a very significant sample size.

[There's a significant pause as he takes that into consideration. It's not something to be ignored, but at the same time that one, normal case was just as valid as all the strange ones. He can't but help sound a little disbelieving.]

That can't be right. What about you?

[its a bit prying, sure, but "prosecutor from Los Angeles" sounded pretty normal to him.]

[Edgeworth's voice - when he replies, which only happens after a moment - is tense. He's not exactly inviting more questions along that particular line of inquiry.]

I have presented the data I collected, sir. I have not altered it or inflated it in any way.

Fine.

[Not an irritated sort of "fine", nor a perplexed one. Just dismissive. He may be curious, but he gets it -- none of his business. Edgeworth still managed to answer his question, in a roundabout way, so Booker doesn't prod further.]

If that's accurate, then have you come up with any theories as to why this place would bother collectin' people like that?

[And the tension relaxes just a little.]

None that bode anything but ill.

[Flatly:] So back to square one then.

[There's an exhale of air that might be translated as a sigh over the audio feed.] Feel like I got my work cut out for me here.

And what work do you consider that to be, Mr. DeWitt?

Same as you I reckon. Same as what everyone's should be at this point -- figure exactly what the hell is going on around here, and figure out if there's a way to send everyone back to the people waiting for them at home.

[He's not sure if the latter would still apply to him, but it's a nice thought regardless.]

Good.

[Short, clipped.]

Tell me what resources you'll need for this to happen, and I'll see what I can provide.

[There's a brow raise on his end, not that Edgeworth can see it.]

You're pretty quick to offer a generous amount of help to a stranger you've just met.

[-not that he's complaining.]

Help within reason. I will not share confidential information or anything that would endanger anyone's privacy or safety. But anyone who is willing to work towards a resolution of this situation will get full cooperation from me.

[There's a pause and the sound of Booker fiddling with his communicator for a brief second. The feed then flickers to video so he can get a better idea of who he's speaking with, if they're going to start talking about investigative resources and the like.

So hi Edgeworth. ~~Nice cravat. Booker's isn't as fancy.~~]

You said you're with Security. Exactly what kind of resources does Security have?

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