Miles Edgeworth (
jurisimpudent) wrote in
ataraxion2013-12-14 09:17 am
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[video and text attachment]
Good day. My name is Miles Edgeworth; I am with the Security team. As ever, I would like to request that any new arrivals with expertise in law enforcement, the military, or combat contact me to discuss potential employment.
[He would also like to request that all you dicks stop talking about The Worst Holiday Ever, thanks. And he would like to distract you from it with this:]
I should like, also, to discuss our backgrounds. I have done this in the past, I will grant, and as such I beg a bit of patience from those who have previously seen such questions. Nevertheless, I believe that discovering the commonalities amongst us will assist in the uncovering of the reason why we were brought here; more, a general census will, I think, assist in preventing people from falling through the cracks, as it were.
[And it will GET YOU BASTARDS TO SHUT UP ABOUT CHRISTMAS FOR FIFTEEN GODDAMN SECONDS]
I have attached a text document. Kindly open this document, fill it out, and submit it to me. Note that number five is quite optional, but an answer would be appreciated and potentially quite helpful.
1. Your name:
2. Your age:
3. Your occupation:
4. Your level of education:
5. (Optional) Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness? (Note: This can be either professional diagnosis or self-diagnosis.):
6. Have you ever been involved in crime or criminal activity (either as victim of same or as perpetrator)?:
7. Have you ever been involved in violence or a violent act (either as victim of same or as perpetrator)?:
8. How long have you been here?:
[He would also like to request that all you dicks stop talking about The Worst Holiday Ever, thanks. And he would like to distract you from it with this:]
I should like, also, to discuss our backgrounds. I have done this in the past, I will grant, and as such I beg a bit of patience from those who have previously seen such questions. Nevertheless, I believe that discovering the commonalities amongst us will assist in the uncovering of the reason why we were brought here; more, a general census will, I think, assist in preventing people from falling through the cracks, as it were.
[And it will GET YOU BASTARDS TO SHUT UP ABOUT CHRISTMAS FOR FIFTEEN GODDAMN SECONDS]
I have attached a text document. Kindly open this document, fill it out, and submit it to me. Note that number five is quite optional, but an answer would be appreciated and potentially quite helpful.
1. Your name:
2. Your age:
3. Your occupation:
4. Your level of education:
5. (Optional) Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness? (Note: This can be either professional diagnosis or self-diagnosis.):
6. Have you ever been involved in crime or criminal activity (either as victim of same or as perpetrator)?:
7. Have you ever been involved in violence or a violent act (either as victim of same or as perpetrator)?:
8. How long have you been here?:
voice;
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[Not that you'd know it by how charming he finds Veronica Mars.]
But a fellow investigator does deserve some regard. I will provide data stripped of any identifying details if you so wish.
voice;
[Not that he particularly cares. Any offense he might take to that remark is incredibly watered down by a practiced air of disregard for a stranger's opinions of his character.] That's fair enough. I don't need names, I need circumstances.
voice;
But very well; I shall do as much. Is there a particular question which has piqued your interest?
voice;
My first question should be easy enough for you to answer. I'd like to know exactly what your profession was, or is. [Though the phrase "studied more than one case" does already give him an idea. No harm in clarifying then.]
voice;
That is somewhat outside the scope of the data I promised to you, but very well. At the moment, I serve as the clerk for the Security department; prior to the Tranquility, I worked as a prosecutor in Los Angeles.
voice;
[And now since that is out of the way:] As for proper sort of questions, I'd like to know if the majority of people here come from a certain universe -- or a just a similar geographical location if that's too unconventional. Time periods, too.
voice;
Edgeworth.
And while there are no absolute rules regarding our origin, there are certain trends. A large cluster of people are Anglophone, with Americans more common than any other nationality. There is another smaller cluster located in Japan. A very large number come from the early 2000s. No one universe has provided a majority of the people here, but certain universes have provided more passengers than others; nevertheless, no one universe has provided more than about 10 individuals.
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All right. You mentioned violent pasts; in what way? War? Personal strife? Or is it all over the board?
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You are familiar with the...more unusual elements of the ship, correct? The so-called supernatural elements?
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If that's what you're asking.
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[not that he can verify that, so it's just an assumption for now. But a fair one, he'd bet.]
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That can't be right. What about you?
[its a bit prying, sure, but "prosecutor from Los Angeles" sounded pretty normal to him.]
voice;
I have presented the data I collected, sir. I have not altered it or inflated it in any way.
voice;
[Not an irritated sort of "fine", nor a perplexed one. Just dismissive. He may be curious, but he gets it -- none of his business. Edgeworth still managed to answer his question, in a roundabout way, so Booker doesn't prod further.]
If that's accurate, then have you come up with any theories as to why this place would bother collectin' people like that?
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None that bode anything but ill.
voice;
[There's an exhale of air that might be translated as a sigh over the audio feed.] Feel like I got my work cut out for me here.
voice;
voice;
[He's not sure if the latter would still apply to him, but it's a nice thought regardless.]
voice;
[Short, clipped.]
Tell me what resources you'll need for this to happen, and I'll see what I can provide.
voice;
You're pretty quick to offer a generous amount of help to a stranger you've just met.
[-not that he's complaining.]
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So hi Edgeworth.
Nice cravat. Booker's isn't as fancy.]You said you're with Security. Exactly what kind of resources does Security have?
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