ataraxion | [ TEXT ] in which cambridge makes a polite enquiry about her location

Entry tags:

[ TEXT ] in which cambridge makes a polite enquiry about her location

[ Hello, fellow crewmembers. If your device wasn’t on before IT CERTAINLY IS NOW! Cambridge - still nursing the mental wound of her power being so rudely culled and currently feeling obnoxiously disorientated - technopathically shoves a text transmission your way: ]

if somebody doesn't tell me exactly where the fuck I am then I am airlocking the whole bloody ship so help me god.

[ An idle threat, don’t you worry. If she had been at full strength then she might have attempted to slip her way through the ship’s systems but as it is she can barely switch a light off, let alone override the hundreds of security precautions that would undoubtedly stand between her and an airlock. Still, the impulse behind the threat is very real: uncertainty and fear mingled with a desperation to check that she wasn’t going mad and dreaming this all... ]

unless this is some hideously unfunny prank in which case you can all go to hell. bad form, you bastards.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ we're on a boat, motherfuckerrrr ]

communications device.

[ if this was a voice post her tone would be THE MOST patronising: ]

like a mobile phone.

Really? I thought it might have been a blender.

[ not that you can see it, Jenna, but Cambridge simpers in mock-amusement. hahhhhhh you so funny, bitch. ]

oh dear, everyone on this ship is so terribly amusing!

[ BEGINNING OF A BEAUTIFUL FRANDSHIP OBVS. ]

Lucky for us. It would suck to be trapped in space with Ben Stein.

[ CLEARLY! ]

unless your friend Mr. Stein can fly a spaceship, it probably would.

[ subtext: who the fuck is Ben Stein ]

He mainly gives away money.

[ that clears it up, obviously. ]

[ somewhere in the depths of the ship Cambridge is staring blankly at her comms device. She doesn't get it, clearly. ]

And is he terribly amusing as well.

Weirdly enough, the point is that he isn't funny at all. Ever seen Ferris Bueller?

no. but please spare me the insistence that it is a classic or anything of the sort.

I was just going to say he's in it.

But now that you mention it, it IS a classic.

I'm afraid I will have to quibble with your definition of 'classic'. Isn't it from the nineteen eighties.

A lot of amazing things are from the eighties.

[ to wit: jenna herself. ]

and some truly terrible things. I don't suppose you remember hair crimpers, do you.

I destroyed all picture evidence of remembering that, but yes.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ TEXT ] in which cambridge makes a polite enquiry about her location

( TEXT )

( TEXT )

( TEXT )

( TEXT )

( TEXT )

( TEXT )

( TEXT )

( TEXT )

( TEXT )

( TEXT ) 1/2

( TEXT )

( TEXT )

( TEXT )

( TEXT )

( TEXT )