03 ✡ text

[growling]

PSA on behalf of Josh of "Awkwardly Hug a Josh Day":

If you hug me without permission I will cry bad touching and sick one of our many obnoxious lawyers on you.

Don't do it.

[ 100% ENCRYPTION - AIDAN WAITE ]

You do realize I turn the fake-30th. If I literally bite someone's head off that's on you and your juvenile accomplice, buddy.

Comments

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[growling]

Well, there's this thing called personal space. You may have heard of it.

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[abrahamic]

you're a camper. personal space is not a thing for you.

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[growling]

I beg to differ. It is still very much a thing for me.

[ he is not into your new-agey kumbaya wolf shit, tyvm ]

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[abrahamic]

[ dude you're not making any sense ]

well what if i hugged you hypothetically, would it still be a thing?

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[growling]

Look, I don't hate hugs. I just tend to reserve them for extremely emotional instances. If you're planning on hugging without purpose, I'm sure it'd still be some degree of awkward.

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[abrahamic]

so basically if anyone wanted to hug you, they have to orchestrate some kind of devastating event and time themselves right so you don't pull out all the weirdness on them.
good to know. :)

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[growling]

Nailed it.

But in all seriousness, let's please not wish for traumatizing events just for the sake of hugging. I don't think the ship needs the encouragement.

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[abrahamic]

so just accept the hugs, then. it's cheaper for everyone all around.
plus hugging satisfies some psychological need or whatever, idk. it's healthy.

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[growling]

Wow, that's some pretty sweet knowledge you're dropping. Did you learn that one from Bill Nye?

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[abrahamic]

nah i learned that from erica after she kept punching me.

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[growling]

Why did she teach you about hugging after punching you.

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[abrahamic]

why does anyone ever do anything? i could skip the punching if that's better.

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[growling]

It's like you're a philosopher.

And yes, skipping the punching might minimize the awkward effect.

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[abrahamic]

so does this mean i can hug you if i don't punch you first?
in a completely platonic fashion, i mean.

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[growling]

Fine, yes, but you only get one freebie. Otherwise proof of emotional trauma will be required.

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[abrahamic]

boo.
but okay, one awkward josh hug is in your future. :)
you should start smelling like a camper anyway, it's about time.

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[growling]

[ There's not even a proper response to the smelling comment, so he just makes a face at the comms device and gives up. You win this round, Isaac. ]