ataraxion | video ★ 004

[ Fair warning, this alien is rather foul mouthed. He only mimics what he has learned from America. ]

Fucking. Fucking. Fuck.

_{[ This is heard telepathically to all watching the video, followed by some tongue clicking as he turns the device on.
Hi Ataraxion. Have +1 grey alien leaning into the communicator and holding it a bit lopsided at first before pulling the communicator away from him and setting it on a hard surface. He crouches down so he's in the camera view again before beginning to eat form a back of chips. ]}

Ahh, fucking. It seems we have to go through this process a whole fucking lot! Mmmmm, negative feelings towards this. It would be nice to fucking go home. Working on that for all of you; that is what my bro America says.

_{[ ANOTHER POTATO CHIP IN THE MOUTH. He seems to be in America's room, but there is no America. ]}

Hmmm. There are new arrivals. I am speaking on behalf of America since he is busy at the moment. My name is Mr. Tony, or Tony-bro if you are fucking tight. We should be fucking rad together.

Mr. America requests that those NATIONS aboard this fucking ship take the time to fill out a fucking form for the next fucking world meeting he is fucking arranging and fucking text it back. This will clear up any fucking confusion in fucking advance, hmmm. Possibly prevent a fucking death threat....unlike last time. This will happen every time a fucking jump occurs.
The date for the next fucking meeting is to be announced at a later fucking time, my friends.

HUMAN NAME: COUNTRY NAME / REPRESENTATIVE: LANGUAGE(S): DO YOU HAVE A DICK OR TITS: WHAT YEAR IS IT: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AFFILIATED WITH THE SOVIET UNION: HAVE YOU CONSIDERED BEING APART OF THE SOVIET UNION BEFORE IT FELL: DO YOU WISH THE SOVIET UNION WAS STILL TOGETHER: ARE YOU A COMMUNIST: IF NOT, WHAT TYPE IS YOUR GOVERNMENT: DO YOU SPELL WORDS WITH A "U" IN THEM FOR NO REASON (exp: colour, harbour): TEA OR COFFEE: ARE YOU IN HEAVY DEBT: DOES MR. AMERICA CURRENTLY OWE YOU ANYTHING: ARE YOU AN AXIS POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE AXIS POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): ARE YOU AN ALLIED POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE ALLIED POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): ARE YOU NEUTRAL OR PREFER NEUTRALITY ACCORDING TO YOUR HISTORY: DO YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF HOSTILITY TOWARDS CAPITALISM, AMERICANS, MR. AMERICA, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, HAMBURGERS AND/OR RONALD MCDONALD OR THE FACT AMERICA WAS THE FIRST ON THE MOON: WHO WON THE COLD WAR: DO YOU HATE ENGLAND, OR ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH ENGLISHMEN (exp: big brows, bad cooking, tophats, monocles): IS MR. AMERICA YOUR HERO OR HAS AIDED YOU IN THE PAST WHICH YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR: IF NOT, DO YOU WISH HE WAS YOUR HERO: CAN HE BE YOUR FRIEND:

As for the rest of you, if you have any fucking questions that have to fucking do with Earth, fucking humans or fucking embodiments of fucking nations, contact us and we will be fucking happy to fill you in on how they behave, their diets, mannerisms, and any fucking thing else you may be fucking curious about.

[ CUE A THUMBS UP before the feed cuts. Though, the sound of a chainsaw revving up is in the background before silence]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

HUMAN NAME: Natalia Arlovskaya

COUNTRY NAME / REPRESENTATIVE: Belarus

LANGUAGE(S): Russian, Belorussian, Polish, English. I doubt you care about the others.

DO YOU HAVE A DICK OR TITS: ...really, America? Female.

WHAT YEAR IS IT: ...2011. Or 2012 now, yes?

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AFFILIATED WITH THE SOVIET UNION: ...obviously.

HAVE YOU CONSIDERED BEING APART OF THE SOVIET UNION BEFORE IT FELL: You are such an idiot..

DO YOU WISH THE SOVIET UNION WAS STILL TOGETHER: I am having mixed fe-- Shut up.

ARE YOU A COMMUNIST: Are you a socialist?

IF NOT, WHAT TYPE IS YOUR GOVERNMENT: You like wikipedia; find out for yourself.

DO YOU SPELL WORDS WITH A "U" IN THEM FOR NO REASON (exp: colour, harbour): I am not affiliated with those drunkard English...

TEA OR COFFEE: Vodka.

ARE YOU IN HEAVY DEBT: We are all being in debt.

DOES MR. AMERICA CURRENTLY OWE YOU ANYTHING: Besides too many apologies for sticking his nose into my personal affairs?

ARE YOU AN AXIS POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE AXIS POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): Nyet.

ARE YOU AN ALLIED POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE ALLIED POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): Affiliated.

ARE YOU NEUTRAL OR PREFER NEUTRALITY ACCORDING TO YOUR HISTORY: I helped save your ass, Amerika. You are ridiculous.

DO YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF HOSTILITY TOWARDS CAPITALISM, AMERICANS, MR. AMERICA, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, HAMBURGERS AND/OR RONALD MCDONALD OR THE FACT AMERICA WAS THE FIRST ON THE MOON: ... one of mine helped get you on the moon. Dick.

WHO WON THE COLD WAR: It is being 2011. GET OVER IT.

DO YOU HATE ENGLAND, OR ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH ENGLISHMEN (exp: big brows, bad cooking, tophats, monocles): ...

IS MR. AMERICA YOUR HERO OR HAS AIDED YOU IN THE PAST WHICH YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR: ... fuck off.

IF NOT, DO YOU WISH HE WAS YOUR HERO: FUCK. OFF.

CAN HE BE YOUR FRIEND: ...I am tired of TYPING in your stupid language.

...
Greetings, Bella.
I appreciate your cooperation.

I believe Mr. America wanted to see you sometime soon.

[for some reason she's sensing a double L]

What for?

Maybe you should come and fucking find out, babe.

Give me a reason to.

_{[ and here's America butting in. ]}

Belarus!!!
Hey! Hey Belarus!!

I'd like to speak with you in person sometime soon!

Oh, it's Our Savior in the flesh. [EVEN HE CAN'T MISS THIS SNARK... RIGHT?]

I refuse to come to your quarters again, America. It looks questionable.

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