mathematically: (pic#5013618)
lчdíα ( вєttєr thαn αnч σthєr αlphα ) mαrtín ([personal profile] mathematically) wrote in [community profile] ataraxion2012-11-04 02:11 pm

second molotov cocktail made ☾ ( voice + action, because butt slapping )

[ the feed opens with a bit of a sad sigh coming from it, and it's almost as if lydia sounds like she's going to report that someone left. but for those of you who know how to fake sadness, it might not be nearly as genuine as it could be. and really, as soon as she opens her mouth, it should clear up your confusion on how much she really cares. ]

I realize that it's fascinating that we're all becoming insane, like Neal and whoever that one very depressing anon is, and stressed and we're all still trying to recuperate from whatever that whole thing with the the locked doors and all of us being shoved into the Oxygen Garden and nearly freezing. Have you guys finished cleaning that up, by the way? I also think a jump should be coming up soon. The days may have blurred a little.

All these things are horrible, but, there's a silver lining, because according to Hayley's calendar, that maybe she flipped a date or two around on, today happens to be be Slap a Lawyer on the ass day. Now, personally I know of a few, and I imagine there might be more, because I haven't talked to everyone. The point is, I propose we actually embrace the spirit of this great holiday. [ no lydia, please sound more amused about this. please sound more amused that you're sending everyone to just go slap a bunch of asses. ]

So, I'll get everyone started. I know Edgeworth, number 007 » 114, is one, and so is Mike Ross, number 011 » 002, even though he can't do math at all, and Harvey, his reasonably attractive boss and also number 011 » 001, is one. And Nathan, number 006 » 078. I think might be. At the very least he's a politician and most of the time, those people went to law school. That's four, out of however many there really are. And I know I missed people, but does that mean they're off limits? No, I, Lydia Martin, by the power invested in me by me actually remembering that Hayley even put this on her calendar, hereby declare that everyone who has not gone crazy and might murder people, should go forth and slap a lawyer's ass. And I expect to hear all about it. I might even join in the fun myself. 

Go forth and slap away, Tranquility. Might actually do wonders to make the ones of us still having trouble feel a little better.


[ ooc | okay so! this is open to action threads and everything from everyone. i only included edgeworth, mike, harvey and nathan because those are the only lawyers lydia knows for sure are lawyers. this does not mean that anyone who plays a lawyer character other than those four is excluded since this is so open to every lawyer and such on the tranquility. equal opportunity ass slapping, everyone. so yes, go forth and slap and enjoy this. ]
whippings: (stare ➙ don't say something foolish)

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[personal profile] whippings 2012-12-20 12:42 pm (UTC)(link)
... So, you're challenging me to a fight.

[ LARRY BUTZ, YOU ARE A SAD, FOOLISH MAN. ]
biffail: (freaked ★ we're well-read and poised)

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[personal profile] biffail 2012-12-20 12:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[What. WHAT. Oh no. Larry shakes his head, swallows hard, and backs up against the door frame.]

Whoa, whoa, I didn't say that! I just said "fighting chance"!

...Fine, I guess I meant "a chance to duck"!
whippings: (neutral ➙ a perfect face)

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[personal profile] whippings 2012-12-20 12:52 pm (UTC)(link)
You had plenty of those. Don't blame me for your poor reflexes.
biffail: (serious ★ we're the chemists)

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[personal profile] biffail 2012-12-20 12:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Geez, why d'you even carry a whip all over the place, anyway...
whippings: (curstey ➙ a von Karma has manners)

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[personal profile] whippings 2012-12-20 01:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Because of people like you.

[ Seriously how did you not expect that answer. ]
biffail: (shout ★ pumping through your speakers)

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[personal profile] biffail 2012-12-20 02:05 pm (UTC)(link)
[He did not because he's Larry.]

Then...then maybe people like me should carry whips too, to get back at people like you!

[Didn't you just take back your "fighting chance", Larry?]
whippings: (smile ➙ it's indistinguishable)

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[personal profile] whippings 2012-12-21 05:55 am (UTC)(link)
Hah! Like you would know what to do with one.
biffail: (rawr ★ I'd burn this city down)

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[personal profile] biffail 2012-12-21 06:40 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, I would! I'd crack it and hit you and show you what I'm made of!
whippings: (haughty ➙ she's better than you)

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[personal profile] whippings 2012-12-22 07:46 am (UTC)(link)
I'll believe it when I see it.
biffail: (shout ★ pumping through your speakers)

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[personal profile] biffail 2012-12-22 02:03 pm (UTC)(link)
You can see it now if you hand yours over! Or at least, show me where I can find one...
whippings: (smile ➙ it's indistinguishable)

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[personal profile] whippings 2012-12-24 02:24 am (UTC)(link)
Let you touch my whip with your filthy hands? Never.
biffail: (rage ★ 'cause I swear)

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[personal profile] biffail 2012-12-24 03:02 am (UTC)(link)
[Larry spreads his hands in front of her.]

Hey, my hands are clean! Look!
whippings: (sneer ➙ look down her nose at you)

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[personal profile] whippings 2012-12-25 11:35 am (UTC)(link)
[ She wrinkles her nose without looking. ]

Disgusting.
biffail: (rawr ★ I'd burn this city down)

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[personal profile] biffail 2012-12-26 05:02 am (UTC)(link)
I washed them! I really did!
whippings: (pause ➙ so boring I almost fell asleep)

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[personal profile] whippings 2013-01-04 02:16 am (UTC)(link)
It doesn't matter what you think you did. It changes nothing.
biffail: (sads ★ or just going down)

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[personal profile] biffail 2013-01-04 10:28 am (UTC)(link)
Man, after all I did in that trial, I get tossed in here to be treated like dirt?
whippings: (smile ➙ it's indistinguishable)

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[personal profile] whippings 2013-01-06 05:40 am (UTC)(link)
It was one trial. Get over it. I've worked on hundreds.
biffail: (rawr ★ I'd burn this city down)

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[personal profile] biffail 2013-01-06 09:50 am (UTC)(link)
But were you ever the witness who overturned a guilty verdict, huh? Huh?!
whippings: (pause ➙ so boring I almost fell asleep)

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[personal profile] whippings 2013-01-07 10:56 am (UTC)(link)
Of course not. I would never interfere with trial proceedings in such a way!
biffail: (shout ★ pumping through your speakers)

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[personal profile] biffail 2013-01-14 10:29 am (UTC)(link)
Oh yeah? Then what would you do if you were in that trial?!
whippings: (glare ➙ three seconds to stop speaking)

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[personal profile] whippings 2013-01-15 04:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Wrong question to ask, Larry Butz. Franziska's expression sobers from its amusement and she's soon glaring at him with renewed vigour. ]

That, I believe, is none of your business.