ataraxion | second molotov cocktail made ☾ ( voice + action, because butt slapping )

[ the feed opens with a bit of a sad sigh coming from it, and it's almost as if lydia sounds like she's going to report that someone left. but for those of you who know how to fake sadness, it might not be nearly as genuine as it could be. and really, as soon as she opens her mouth, it should clear up your confusion on how much she really cares. ]

I realize that it's fascinating that we're all becoming insane, like Neal and whoever that one very depressing anon is, and stressed and we're all still trying to recuperate from whatever that whole thing with the the locked doors and all of us being shoved into the Oxygen Garden and nearly freezing. Have you guys finished cleaning that up, by the way? I also think a jump should be coming up soon. The days may have blurred a little.

All these things are horrible, but, there's a silver lining, because according to Hayley's calendar, that maybe she flipped a date or two around on, today happens to be be Slap a Lawyer on the ass day. Now, personally I know of a few, and I imagine there might be more, because I haven't talked to everyone. The point is, I propose we actually embrace the spirit of this great holiday. [ no lydia, please sound more amused about this. please sound more amused that you're sending everyone to just go slap a bunch of asses. ]

So, I'll get everyone started. I know Edgeworth, number 007 » 114, is one, and so is Mike Ross, number 011 » 002, even though he can't do math at all, and Harvey, his reasonably attractive boss and also number 011 » 001, is one. And Nathan, number 006 » 078. I think might be. At the very least he's a politician and most of the time, those people went to law school. That's four, out of however many there really are. And I know I missed people, but does that mean they're off limits? No, I, Lydia Martin, by the power invested in me by me actually remembering that Hayley even put this on her calendar, hereby declare that everyone who has not gone crazy and might murder people, should go forth and slap a lawyer's ass. And I expect to hear all about it. I might even join in the fun myself.

Go forth and slap away, Tranquility. Might actually do wonders to make the ones of us still having trouble feel a little better.

[ ooc | okay so! this is open to action threads and everything from everyone. i only included edgeworth, mike, harvey and nathan because those are the only lawyers lydia knows for sure are lawyers. this does not mean that anyone who plays a lawyer character other than those four is excluded since this is so open to every lawyer and such on the tranquility. equal opportunity ass slapping, everyone. so yes, go forth and slap and enjoy this. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...Harvey?

[ YOU MEAN YOU AREN'T DATING? ]

Oh, Harvey!

[ just going to think you're joking about the dating thing AND NOT ACTUALLY MEANING IT so-- ]

I dunno, Harvey's probably enjoying this.

[ mike why do you do this to yourself? ]

Oh, okay-- then I won't apologize for either slap.

[ just the most uncomfortable kicked puppy face ]

... Right.

If you keep making that face, it's going to get stuck that way.

[ WHAT ]

I'm not making a face.

[ yes you are ]

[ JUST SNAPPING A PICTURE OF YOUR FACE

yay vampire speed!

and holding it out.

maybe wiggling it a little. ]

[ glances down at the comm and then up at her and then MAKES A WORSE FACE oh god ]

... Unfair.

Vampire.

[ /kanyeshrug. ]

[ WELL THAT THROWS HIM OFF A LITTLE ]

What?

[ a beat ]

You're fucking with me.

[ tap tap tap on your shoulder mike. IT'S JENNA because she is zoomy. ]

Nope, 'fraid not.

Edited 2012-12-29 01:58 (UTC)

[ DSkgjsdhgjlsdgjh CLUTCHES HIS CHEST ]

Holy fucking crap. My first vampire!

First vampire you know of. We're the new silent, invisible minority.

[ jenna is going to start pfovaw-- like pflag but impossible to say and for vampires and werewolves, not queers.

or queers too, as long as they drink blood or howl at the moon. whatever. THE POINT IS MONSTER PRIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ]

Wow, we sound kind of cool when I say it like that. Like Batman-- the darkness and the night.

[ he tilts his head at that before nodding and clearing his throat, trying to digest this. then he runs over all the people he's ever talking to on the ship before and tries to figure out if any of them were supernatural. he comes up with a few 'maybe's. ]

Man, you can't be Batman. Even I can't be Batman.

[ a beat ]

But you've gotta tell me. Are you more Bram Stoker or Sookie Stackhouse? No judging here though, just curious.

Could too, if I felt like it.

[ but she's clearly just teasing for the sake of it, because 'i'm a vampire' requires a little more levity after than a lot of confessions. ]

...Sookie who? Uh. Well, no coffins, I sleep in a bed thanks-- and I eat normal food, show up in mirrors, like garlic on pizza and could bathe in holy water if I felt particularly religious for some reason, so I'll assume probably that one and not Dracula.

[ there's a huff at that but anyway, ]

... Well, that's ridiculously normal for a vampire. You're messing with all my pop culture assumptions, totally unfair.

Sucks to be you, Mike.

[ :D

:D

:D

LOLOLOL GEDDIT

"SUCKS"

jenna cracks herself up ]

[ this is a guy who looks like he's trying not to laugh but he kind of makes some weird indignant and humor noise that doesn't really sound right so he tries to ignore the weirdness of the noise by MOVING ON ]

Uh-huh, right. God, this is weird.

Yeah, but I still got you to laugh like a turkey instead of flee in terror-- I call it a win.

[ jenna's sommers approach to vampire politics. ]

[ oh my god, he just got played by vampire mom. super bogus. ]

Well, fine. I'll give you that.

second molotov cocktail made ☾ ( voice + action, because butt slapping )

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