ataraxion | second molotov cocktail made ☾ ( voice + action, because butt slapping )

[ the feed opens with a bit of a sad sigh coming from it, and it's almost as if lydia sounds like she's going to report that someone left. but for those of you who know how to fake sadness, it might not be nearly as genuine as it could be. and really, as soon as she opens her mouth, it should clear up your confusion on how much she really cares. ]

I realize that it's fascinating that we're all becoming insane, like Neal and whoever that one very depressing anon is, and stressed and we're all still trying to recuperate from whatever that whole thing with the the locked doors and all of us being shoved into the Oxygen Garden and nearly freezing. Have you guys finished cleaning that up, by the way? I also think a jump should be coming up soon. The days may have blurred a little.

All these things are horrible, but, there's a silver lining, because according to Hayley's calendar, that maybe she flipped a date or two around on, today happens to be be Slap a Lawyer on the ass day. Now, personally I know of a few, and I imagine there might be more, because I haven't talked to everyone. The point is, I propose we actually embrace the spirit of this great holiday. [ no lydia, please sound more amused about this. please sound more amused that you're sending everyone to just go slap a bunch of asses. ]

So, I'll get everyone started. I know Edgeworth, number 007 » 114, is one, and so is Mike Ross, number 011 » 002, even though he can't do math at all, and Harvey, his reasonably attractive boss and also number 011 » 001, is one. And Nathan, number 006 » 078. I think might be. At the very least he's a politician and most of the time, those people went to law school. That's four, out of however many there really are. And I know I missed people, but does that mean they're off limits? No, I, Lydia Martin, by the power invested in me by me actually remembering that Hayley even put this on her calendar, hereby declare that everyone who has not gone crazy and might murder people, should go forth and slap a lawyer's ass. And I expect to hear all about it. I might even join in the fun myself.

Go forth and slap away, Tranquility. Might actually do wonders to make the ones of us still having trouble feel a little better.

[ ooc | okay so! this is open to action threads and everything from everyone. i only included edgeworth, mike, harvey and nathan because those are the only lawyers lydia knows for sure are lawyers. this does not mean that anyone who plays a lawyer character other than those four is excluded since this is so open to every lawyer and such on the tranquility. equal opportunity ass slapping, everyone. so yes, go forth and slap and enjoy this. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You totally get defensive. Being young's not a fucking crime, dude.

I never said it was.

You totally act like it is.

Well, it is not precisely a good thing, is it.

Being young's when you get away with all the best shit, so it should be a great thing.

Man, you're going to have a fucking mid-life crisis by 25 without ever having gotten laid at this rate.

Stop talking about that! You are far too young to be talking about things like that.

About things like what? Getting laid?

Dude, you are so too late to be giving me that fucking lecture.

I - think it's never too late.

So what's the worst shit to do, in your opinion?

Getting laid, getting drunk, or toking up? Cause all three are pretty fucking awesome.

I - they are all bad.

[What is toking up.]

Yeah? Even though you've tried one of the three, they're all still bad?

[Dude. A completely stoned Edgeworth would be priceless. someone get him a pot brownie.]

I - if you are underage, yes!

Man you stutter a lot when you're pissy.

And there's no age limit on getting high, bro. And who's to say there is on the other two, where I come from?

[Dammit he does not stutter.]

Because it's always illegal, and because you're clearly flaunting the other two because you're proud of your hooliganism.

Shit's been legal for decades, sorry to tell you.

Whatcha gotta say now?

...When was it legalized.

Dunno, before I was born so like, 2015? 2016?

...Fine. Then I cannot object to it from a legal standpoint.

I'm so fucking relieved.

[The sarcasm. It's dripping.]

You should try it sometime, bro.

No.

Why not? Nothing's illegal in space.

Because I have sworn not to break the law, and it is against the law of my home. I will constrain myself not only to what is illegal here but also what is illegal there, because if I do not then I will have broken my oath.

Sounds boring, but whatever bangs your gavel, dude.

And about me 'flaunting my hooliganism', it's called not giving a fuck that I'm having a good time with life.

It sounded to me as though you were bragging.

When does it not sound like I'm bragging to you, dude?

(no subject)

jurisimpudent - 2012-11-05 03:49 (UTC) - Expand