ataraxion | 001; audio-video

Entry tags:

001; audio-video

[ This is Bruce Wayne's voice. Cheerful, foppish, and the audio itself is somehow unsteady as though he can't decide how close to his mouth to hold the device. Apparently his default is too close, because--well, you'll see. He speaks like he's called someone specific. ]

Um, hi there. I bet I mess this up somehow, send it to the wrong number - something like that - but I don't really know that many people here, and... Well, this is embarrassing, actually--

[ At this point he bumps the video feature on with his chin, and it records a swathe of his jaw. ]

Do you know how to cook?

[ He's squinting into the camera, super close when he draws the device back, so that only his left eye and a swathe of slightly too-long hair falling over his forehead is visible, and then that eye narrows and the feed shuts off. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Since there's no video with which to see Bruce scrunch up his nose, he doesn't actually bother. This is about his plan to not get his handsome jawline on camera. But he does leave a nice pause for it none the less. ]

Eurgh. That's... Ugh. What about a vegetarian option? I don't think I could even try it with meat now without thinking of squirrels. [ So delicate. It's all lies, he'd eat anything so long as someone else made it. ]

[ Alistair remains oblivious. He is but a simple man that enjoys talking about disgusting food. ]

I can't help you there, buddy. It's meat and cheese or bust, where I come from.

[ In retrospect, that explains the rotten cabbage everywhere. Everybody wants to farm it; nobody wants to eat it. ]

Meat and cheese?

[ That does sound disgusting. And unhealthy. ]

So no vegetables at all?

We have vegetables, mostly as ingredients and side dishes. You'd have to go to Orlais if you want any of the fancy salad stuff.

Orlais? Is that somewhere on the ship?

No, it's a country in Thedas. They have masked nobles, silly accents, fancy parties with stinky cheeses.

Are you sure you don't mean France?

[ Masked nobles, Bruce? Cuts a little close. ]

No. Wait, does this mean you have Orlais from where you're from? [ In a... bad, but recognizable French accent: ] They talk like this.

[ Another pause. ]

That does sound like French.

...That is so weird.

Well I suppose...some countries have their own names for the people of others. We call them the French, but to them, they're français. Maybe this orlais is the same thing?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only