[text] eridan's guide to role calls

[uncodlyawwesome]

yes that reely fuckin sucked oh no wwe havve to go in gravvity pouches evvery time wwe go through a fuckin jump so wwe dont all fuckin die
didnt anybody listen wwhen wwe got that announcement wwasnt that a fuckin thing they mentioned

anywway im pretty sure i saww some horns floatin around in that sea of confusion earlier but i havve things to do so it wwasnt like i wwas gonna stop by an say hello

[That can probably be safely read as "I didn't know if it was anyone I killed when I flipped out and didn't want to check."]

so uh
i guess i should float the fact that there are other trolls around out there
see wwho it is
if its evven anyone i knoww since thats not alwways a thing here


also i wwas pretty fuckin disappointed that i didnt get a fuckin neww scarf or my cape or fuckin anyfin in my locker
i thought that wwas somethin wwe wwould get like evvery jump wwe get a little more fucking pizzazz on this ship
anyone see a purple cape wwith a gold chain lyin around in case it got misplaced or somefin

Comments

[encrypted] it was like lion king's can you feel the love tonight except in reverse

[zoosmell]

ok.
but i have locked it now with my super cool computery skills.
this has been locked down so fast, it is like we are on mega lock down.
KABAM.
that is the sound of lock downs!
and possibly when you make dinner?
but you still don't have to say anything!
now we are just talking in a space that happens to be very private.

[ except perhaps not, with john's talent at computery things, but he can't tell the difference ]

[encrypted] it was just all timon and pumba's parts

[uncodlyawwesome]

wwhy are you so fuckin insistent you dont evven knoww me

[encrypted] eridan can be pumba or the insect that pumba ate earlier

[zoosmell]

do you really need to know someone to listen to them?
i am not donating several kidneys!
i am just doing what anyone would do.

[encrypted] probably the insect he's not really main character material

[uncodlyawwesome]

not anyone

look i wwent a lil fuckin dorsal before i showwed up here an did some reel stupid shit
wwell i had a good reason but it got kind a confused along the fuckin wway
an then there wwas this wwhole fuckin kerfuffle wwith gamz bein fuckin crazy
i mean reel fuckin crazy not just my temporary fuckin insanity
an anywway basically i fucked up pretty big
not that it matters noww since wwere here but still

its basically evven wworse because noww a bunch a my friends
wwell trolls i knoww at least
theyre here noww an i knoww theyll either find out wwhat the fuck happened or they already knoww wwhat the fuck happened
an i wwas kind a startin to bank on this ship bein a good place to not havve to deal with that bullshark again

[encrypted] in which case he can be the insect that wasn't even eaten

[zoosmell]

oh...
heh, i still don't know what you did, but...
i don't think it's so bad?
being without your friends here might have made it easier for you, but it's like something that's easy isn't always good?
i don't really know what you did and what you did might be a troll thing.
but you're here with your friends now!
even if they're angry and mad and they know or don't know, i think it's good that you call them friends first.
it might be hard, but it would have really stunk being alone, right?

Re: [encrypted] in which case he can be the insect that wasn't even eaten

[uncodlyawwesome]

it wwould havve been easier
especially since people ivve met on this stupid ship dont knoww shit about me
other than like one a them but that wwas an accident
an im bein vvague on porpoise

[perma-encrypt]

[zoosmell]

ok.
i don't need to know!
but there's always going to be people who won't know?
and if you've made friends on this shippy thingy, then they should believe you, anyway.
i think it's better for you because then you won't have to be afraid of people finding out!
you are just you, and it might suck at first, but...
trolla and humans just do the best we can.

[uncodlyawwesome]

i guess
my best isnt fuckin good though
im a shitty fuckin prince a hope cod damn it
noww im rantin at some fuckin human wwho doesnt evven knoww me
my life is so hard

[Even through text, it should be obvious that Eridan is one-hundred percent sincere about how hard his life is.]

[zoosmell]

you might be pretty shitty!
i don't know, but it doesn't take much to be shitty i guess.
but if your best is your best then there's no use in being sad about it?

[uncodlyawwesome]

wwoww thats pretty fuckin unhelpful
but yeah okay wwhatevver

[zoosmell]

if you wanted helpful, you should have asked rose!
she's the smart one, though i am very smart too.
KABOB!
that is the sound of my brain working hard for you!
that is also the sound of actual kabobs.

[uncodlyawwesome]

youre more fuckin confusin to talk to than the fuckin wweird old troll guy

[zoosmell]

vriska?

[uncodlyawwesome]

wwhat
no
vvris isnt an old troll shes only 6

[zoosmell]

sorry, i guess i really wanted to meet her!
if you see her, tell her that john is waiting for her!
but i don't really know any old trolls...

[uncodlyawwesome]

she wwas here before the jump
i dont knoww if shes still here though

[zoosmell]

it's ok, since i have casey with me and everything.
and a lot of my friends are here!
they are humans, too.
we have a lot of cultural greeting rituals that you probably wouldn't understand.

[uncodlyawwesome]

so far it all seems relativvely fuckin normal to me
just a bunch a lame pleasantries before wwe can actually talk about anythin fuckin important
but maybe thats just these other fuckin humans an not the ones wwe actually made a univverse for

your wwelcome for that by the wway

wwhat kind a other greetings are there

[zoosmell]

i think we are a lot the same, too.
i don't mean just greetings, but...
did you know that when people meet each other, it's considered only polite to lick someone's face when you see each other in person!
most of us do not care, but dave really really cares about it.
so if you ever see him, you should lick his face or else he's going to be really mean to you in an assholish way.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

[uncodlyawwesome]

wwhich one is davve

wwait that is fuckin gross
wwhy wwould i evver wwant to lick someones fuckin face

making dave's life the best life

[zoosmell]

the red or orange one!
it's just culturally sensitivity?
i know it is hard for you, but i think he will like you after that!
and maybe he won't give you a hard time if you start off on the right foot?
telling him that he tastes good is also a sign of good cultural awareness.

oh my god..............

[uncodlyawwesome]

oh ok
i nevver really followwed along wwith him it wwasnt interestin to me i guess

thats reely fuckin gross but im attemptin to be more fuckin sensitivve a these topics
i got fuckin yelled at last time i forgot to consider other cultures
fuckin jones

anywway
that doesnt apply to evvery fuckin human does it
seriously ivve nevver seen that happen so im assumin its just our side a the univverse
so to speak givven that wwere actually from twwo separate but interconnected univverses

shhh only tongues now

[zoosmell]

nah, we usually understand aliens do not get it and we do not expect it!
it is mostly an outdated thing, so don't worry about it!
but dave is really uptight about it.
i don't know why?
he just really likes it.
and if he's just giving you a hard time, you can just lick him to calm him down.
dave is a good friend, but he is a strange friend!

gross alien tongues with purple saliva everywhere. just a stripe of it up dave's face.

[uncodlyawwesome]

humans are fuckin wweird

just get some in his hair and shades he won't mind

[zoosmell]

that's dave for you!
he also likes to be called poopsie.
that is his nickname, and that should be less weird for you!