[text] eridan's guide to role calls

[uncodlyawwesome]

yes that reely fuckin sucked oh no wwe havve to go in gravvity pouches evvery time wwe go through a fuckin jump so wwe dont all fuckin die
didnt anybody listen wwhen wwe got that announcement wwasnt that a fuckin thing they mentioned

anywway im pretty sure i saww some horns floatin around in that sea of confusion earlier but i havve things to do so it wwasnt like i wwas gonna stop by an say hello

[That can probably be safely read as "I didn't know if it was anyone I killed when I flipped out and didn't want to check."]

so uh
i guess i should float the fact that there are other trolls around out there
see wwho it is
if its evven anyone i knoww since thats not alwways a thing here


also i wwas pretty fuckin disappointed that i didnt get a fuckin neww scarf or my cape or fuckin anyfin in my locker
i thought that wwas somethin wwe wwould get like evvery jump wwe get a little more fucking pizzazz on this ship
anyone see a purple cape wwith a gold chain lyin around in case it got misplaced or somefin

Comments

[hauntedbymemory]

I'm afraid personal effects weren't on the list of Things That Should Be Acquired During The Jump.

[It's unsure whether that was sarcasm or not, though given this is Shadow, Eridan should take it with a grain of salt.]

I see you're still here.

1/2

[uncodlyawwesome]

howw should i knoww wwhats supposed to happen in this jump shit i just remember parts a that wwhole spiel a the captains
i wwas just sort a hopin yknoww

an a course im still here wwhere the fuck am i gonna go
trust me im gonna be a fuckin fixture here unless this ship likes sendin people to their deaths

2/2

[uncodlyawwesome]

wwhat do you not wwant me here or somefin

[hauntedbymemory]

I understand. I have a few things(people)that I would like to acquire here myself.





I did not say that.
Your presence is quite welcome here as far as I am concerned, Ampora.

[ponyfabulous]

None of these horns happened to belong to someone who might have originally been a unicorn, did they?

[uncodlyawwesome]

oh
wwell good because

just fuckin because anywway do you mean somefin to make you look a lil more presentable
if my fuckin friends are here all of a sudden an i gotta introduce you lookin all lame lookin im gonna havve some wwords wwith you

[uncodlyawwesome]

wwhats a unicorn

[hauntedbymemory]

[oh Eridan]

Nothing of the sort. It's not required for us to wear clothing back home, considering my comrades and I are anthropomorphic and covered in fur.
I'm afraid you'll simply have to introduce me as I am.

[ponyfabulous]

We're ponies, dear! The sort with horns, which is what we use to control our magic. We only have one horn each, though.

[uncodlyawwesome]

oh right hedgehog
wwhatevver ugh i guess i will just havve to deal wwith it
i hate that but i guess at least if wwe put a brush through your hair first youll look ok

[uncodlyawwesome]

oh
see the uh hoofbeast thing isnt reely my thing
bein aquatic an all that
but no either wway they arent unicorn horns or hoofbeast horns of any kind im talkin about troll horns

[zoosmell]

i hope there are other trolls here!
i wonder if vriska is here?
karkat, too, i guess.
it would be like a party except maybe we should have a quiet one or else karkat would get mad.

[uncodlyawwesome]

wwhich one a the humans are you again

kar isnt here
wwell he wwasnt before the jump thing maybe hes here noww wwell just havve to wwait an see i guess
vvris wwas here but i dont knoww if shes still here
some people are sayin other people disappeared durin the jump im not sure

[zoosmell]

i hope vriska is still here...
i'm the coolest one, john!
which troll are you?
other than the scarfy one.

[uncodlyawwesome]

all a you are lame so thats not sayin much about your coolness
im eridan ampora
not the fuckin scarfy one im the fuckin seadwweller

one a them at least

[zoosmell]

no way, i am so cool.
if coolness was measured in lightyears i would be the brightest bulb in the UNIVERSE.
ALL the universes.
you can't beat this coolness.
oh yeah.
anyway, if you're only one of dwellers, then isn't it easier to call you the scarfy one?

[uncodlyawwesome]

im not gonna get in a debate about howw lame you probably are lets let that ship sink gracefully for once
since wwevve got more important things to fuckin deal wwith than losership an wwho gets that crowwn

its not easier because the other seadwweller isnt here
an besides youvve got my name noww

[zoosmell]

i guess it's good to meet you, the scarfy one!
what's a sea dweller, anyway?
are you like a goldfish?

[uncodlyawwesome]

oh my cod reely
reely
a fuckin goldfish
firstly thats reel fuckin offensivve a you to compare me to a fuckin fish especially one that isnt a fuckin breed a shark
secondly a sea dwweller is a troll wwho livves in the fuckin ocean
or around it i guess since my hivve wwasnt underwwater
thirdly a course its good to meet me

[zoosmell]

oh.
i'm glad i didn't bring you a pineapple as a gift!
that would have been very culturally insensitive.
i am trying to learn the ways of troll culture and it is kinda hard?

[hauntedbymemory]

If we must.

[uncodlyawwesome]

of course wwe must
i reely gotta ask howw could you not knoww that wwould be part a the deal

[uncodlyawwesome]

wwell at least youre tryin ill givve you that i guess

[zoosmell]

i am being a success!
i have offended 0 trolls since i have arrived.
also i have not talked to any trolls?
but the numbers ring loud and clear!
also, other than pineapples and cleaning supplies, do you know what else i shouldn't say?

[uncodlyawwesome]

the wword pity
since apparently humans dont fuckin use it right

[And of course he only learned that the hard way.]

also you fuckin offended me just a second ago wwhat am i chopped cuttlefish