ataraxion | ( three ) : video

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( three ) : video

[ Behold! On your screen is a whole plastic box-case thing of Reese's minis, the gold foil wrappers of each bite-sized piece winking in the horrible eye-blinding indoor lights of the ship. There's actually a reason for Isaac to be taking a video of an incredibly boring thing, though. ]

I found these in my locker after the jump. It's well over ten pounds of Reese's minis and is seriously too much candy for one person, so I'm giving a pound of these to the first couple people willing to sing Rolling in The Deep on the public network. [ No, really. He means it. ] And is there anyone on the ship who is Canadian and can play hockey and/or lacrosse? I've got my lacrosse stick and three balls to shoot, but not enough gear to really play. Or have anyone to play against.

[ There's also another thing, but it's slightly less boring. It's also a bit tricky, since it involves the monthly fur problem. ]

I'm also thinking of camping out on the gardens for a couple days, are the gardens back to being mostly safe again?

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Yeah, all right. In the wide world of Muggle sport, this one doesn't sound so bad. At least there's hitting people with sticks, that improves most things. [And presumably there's fighting, too, which is just an added bonus.] What about the other one, then, hockey--what's that one.

[The rest of this sounds faaaaaar more suspicious and will be treated as such.]

Just 'cos I'm English doesn't mean I'm going to be able to explain every mad thing from England. I can't explain cheese rolling either, but it goes on--there's a whole list of things, rolling in deeps apparently among them. Sounds sort of dirty, doesn't it?

I thought maybe it was some kind of saying, you know, like three sheets to the wind or taking the piss? Or sixes and sevens, whatever that means.

[ English is so weird. ]

Hockey's like lacrosse, only instead of carrying the ball you have to hit it across the field to your teammates, and they keep hitting it until it makes the goal or they get hit by the other team. [ Excessive use of hitting, basically, or at least that's how Isaac thinks. He's on the lacrosse team to win, not understand it. ] What kinds of sports do you wizards have, anyway? You already know about baseball and stuff.

Yes, England is a very tiny little country, isn't it, we all have precisely the same sayings and phrases, and it hardly matters that I'm a wizard from 1976, as things never ever change.

[but so okay enough sarcasm; nice, we're trying to be nice--]

Are they actually hit by the other team? That might not be so bad either--are there sticks in it as well? I only know about baseball because someone was going on about having kids play it. Might as well set them in front of a blank wall, for as interesting as it sounds. And Quidditch is our sport--it's better than any Muggle sport, sorry to say.

Right, and everyone around here is from the future so they must know what the world was like before their parents were even out of their diapers, right.

Silly me.

[ So a werewolf and an animagus get into a conversation... ]

What's so good about that?

Right. I'll remember you're a titchy future-baby from hereon out, you have my word.

[....THEY BECOME INSTANT BFFS]

First off, it's done a great deal faster than any of yours. It's more exciting, practically death-defying--you get to hit things at people--and it's all played at least nine meters off the ground, 'cos you're flying.

So mostly that, in short.

And you're a whiny infant from the 1970s, cool, glad we have that covered.

[ this friendship is as delicate as a goddamned butterfly.

And okay, yeah, flying makes anything cooler. Damnit. ]

So how come Remus doesn't play?

Who is still older than you. Shame.

[yeah it's cooler and your silence on the matter is your defeat. sorry bro. but at that question, he actually laughs.]

Remus? Because he's shit at flying, that's why! And he yelps, and dodges, but not in a co-ordinated way, in a way that means nearly-falling-off-his-broom. We'd have banned him from trying for his own safety if he hadn't banned himself.

[ He isn't admitting to losing this fight to you, Sirius. No way. ]

Yeah, and how old are you now?

—And seriously? That's his reason? He can't rig the thing or something? It's a flying broomstick.

Eighteen, actually.

[mmmmmore or less.]

Anyway, you can't rig broomsticks, that's not the way they work. There's skill involved--you're either good with 'em or you aren't, and Remus is shit at 'em. He'd be first to admit it. And he ducks if you chuck anything at him--we used to try to teach him by chucking textbooks at random, but he wouldn't have it.

Eighteen exactly?

[ Bite me, no way. ]

Is he good at ducking. [ He's having pretty horrible ideas on this. Don't ask. ]

Nearly nineteen, if we're going to beg for absolute honesty.

[There's a bit of a pause there at that question.]

Usually fairly good. He can be surprised, but then again, he can also enchant books to fly back and hit whoever chucked 'em in the face--but as long as you're willing to risk that much, you can get one over him.

[ goddamnit why :| :| :| still isn't going to treat you like an elder, though, i hope you know this ]

...I can risk that much. I can be really quiet if I wanted.

Can he magic a force field?

[hey bro that's okay, it will make any pranks or jokes or teasing seem a little less cruel if he's not An Elder!]

Dunno about that--he has the hearing of a librarian. A forced field of what?

[ you are forever on isaac's to-prank-the-hell-out list, he hopes you know this well. remus can never save you. ]

Not forced field, force field, like—

A magical repellent, or an invisible wall. You throw things at it, things bounce back. That kind of thing.

[BRING IT ON, LOSER, chaos will rule the halls of the Tranquility at this rate.]

Oh. Yeah. Shield charm would do, probably, or some variant of it. D'you seriously think you could successfully chuck a book at him?

[ no one better survive or we'll not be doing our job all proper. ]

Well, I haven't tried yet. I won't know until then, won't I?

[oh hell yeah no survivors. no prisoners. this is going to be brutal.]

And you were so keen to be his mate, too. What an interesting development. But no fair just telling me you've done it, I have to see it. You've got to chuck something at him when I'm around, or else I won't know it's happened.

If you're coming along, there's gonna be rules. You can't be showing up out of nowhere and ruining things even unintentionally.

—Hey, you know, I never asked but how did you two end up knowing each other?

Oh, come off it. Would I do that?

[...the answer, of course, is probably yes, but that aside--!]

But we sort of adopted him, for starters. Bless his good-willed little heart. Nah, see--Remus and I are in the same House--first years get sorted into one of the four Houses at Hogwarts, and we're both Gryffindors. Means we've all the same classes, at least to start with, and we have the same dorm, and you more or less end up doing everything with your housemates.

You guys sound like white-collar snobs, just so you know. I mean, boarding school? Really? I don't even know if those exist in NorCal, man, what the hell.

Is the food any good?

[ Because that is priority, and really, Sirius - he sees you thinking about cheating him out of a good prank. Don't do it. :c! ]

[HE PROBABLY WOULDN'T cheating someone out of a prank is no fun. unless you're going to do the prank better and for this one he really might just want to watch it go on. but wow man you are not winning any points with this attitude right here, because if there is one thing Sirius Black is not it is a snob. (not strictly true.)]

As it's the only real wizarding school in Britain, I suppose it's less snobbish and more general than you think. Sorry our standards of education are so brilliant, Mister Norcal.

And of course the food's good, we have to eat it, don't we. It's all done by house elves, loads of it.

[ This whole explanation is not helping with the image problem, though. North American high school food is a crapshoot of "oh my god what is this" and "mostly edible", depending, and compared to how low-key(ish) Remus' own description is of Hogwarts, Sirius isn't winning points on Isaac's end either.

Major major miscommunication is going on. ]

So, what, you don't have any other schools at all? Isn't Britain really huge? There's like four different... regions and stuff where you're from, how come you only have one?

[ And you have slaves, holy crap Isaac is not touching that because no. Boyd would pitch a bitchglare. ]

[MAJOR miscommunication. And they aren't slaves by the way and just wow. Yeah. Miscommunication is right. But fortunately Sirius already thinks the worst of Isaac, more or less, so at least they'll be even now.]

Because there aren't all that many wizards and witches in Britain? Not everyone goes to Hogwarts, anyway, some of 'em stay home or don't make it in or go abroad to one of the other schools, though I dunno why they'd want to, as they're all shit compared to Hogwarts. But it's all down to numbers, really. How many werewolves are there, I suppose there's loads?

There's more than enough werewolves that there's hunters who hunt us down, so yeah. There's more than enough to go around. That's h—

[ Except he can't tell people about what happened in Beacon Hills, at least not yet, and especially not to Sirius right now. It's a history that Isaac isn't sure he is part of yet, with the pack the way it stands right now, and much as he doesn't like to back down from this one, he knows he has to.

Not for the first time on this ship Isaac is glad his world turned out the way it did on some things. (And maybe one day he'll understand just what Remus even sees in Sirius that they're such close friends.) ]

You know what, never mind. You don't get it.

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( three ) : video

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