ataraxion | 004 >> Voice and text plus one IC link!

Good day. My name, as many of you know, is Miles Edgeworth. I have been present on this ship for approximately two and one half months at this point; at home, I was a prosecutor.

I've a pair of proposals for your consideration. Each will be posted first via the text function, then read aloud for those who avoid the use of text.

My first proposal: a so-called "buddy system." This has been bandied about before, but it has come to a point where allowing it to be neglected further would be unconscionable. This is designed to ensure that everyone makes it to the jumps without issue; each person will both check on and be checked on by their "buddy," so anyone who is missing, injured, et cetera, will be noted and helped in advance of the jump.

How this will work is simple: just register for this service here. You'll be paired with a "buddy." I'll post a reminder the morning of the jump for everyone to get in contact with their "buddy" and ensure that everything is in order; then, again, one hour before the jump, everyone will ensure their "buddy" is present and notify a member of security if there are any issues.

This service is completely optional.

My second proposal: a mediation service. For the time being, we do not have courtrooms proper, but that does not mean that we need resort to barbarism and brutality to resolve any conflicts. In my home, when someone does not wish to undergo the expense and difficulty of a courtroom trial, they call in a mediator - id est, an individual of some legal learning who has no vested interest in the matter, who is called upon to act as a judge in the matter. I know we've several people of learning, legal and otherwise, on-board who would be able to set aside partiality in order to preside over arguments and decide for one side or the other.

So: I know this is not a perfect proposal, as there are no modes of redress, et cetera, and as we've nothing to enforce the binding nature of a mediator's decision. But to my way of thinking, it would be far better for there to be a service to help resolve issues. Before a disagreement comes to fists, or to guns, the parties involved can seek out someone to listen and provide some measure of judgment.

Anyone who could volunteer for such a service, please respond here. I'm looking for anyone who has experience that might be relevant, which I do not limit to legal.

[OOC: If people sign up for the buddy system, I'll be matching them up next weekend sometime! An opportunity for forcing your character into new CR. :>]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Pity! There's a brilliant variation on it, too--you take the wine bottle from the first part and--

[This edition is even more convoluted than the last.]

[About half a sentence in, Edgeworth quite nearly shrieks - ]

Be silent!!

Well, you'll have to know these things if you intend to butter his southern pony. Honestly.

I don't! I would never!!

Excuse me.

Anders is an extremely attractive, capable, brilliant, and loving man, and you'd be lucky to have him.

I have no interest. None.

Well--start having one!

Wh...Are you encouraging me to...develop some "crush" on the individual with whom you are romantically involved? Are you - insane?

You're disparaging his attractiveness! Only I get to do that. Everyone loves Anders.

[Perhaps it should be past tense but--this silly, silly fight is reminding him of why he.misses the third party so much.]

I don't!

Then you're a senseless son of a nug!

There is no one who is universally appealing. Certainly he is not!

You're as bad as a Tem--

[Breathe, Hawke, breathe.]

...this little repartee is exactly why you need me.

I do not "need" you at all. What use would anyone have for a mediator who laughs at others' problems?

[Does he have to actually explain this sensibly? Maker's hairy arse.]

Laughter eases tension.

Now, Serrah Edgeworth, you're used to being able to impose legal consequences on those who go against your rulings, correct?

Incorrect.

Really.

So how then do you get anyone to listen?

['You' is very pointed.]

Perhaps they're better-behaved and more intelligent than you are.

That's quite likely!

Unfortunately for you, serrah, this ship skews much more towards my type. Now as I was saying, sometimes the only way to avoid bloodshed is to make bloodshed seem ridiculous. Childish. No one wants to look or feel a fool, and for the types who run around wildly stabbing people for their ideals making them feel silly is, in fact, sometimes the best defense.

You can't outreason a fanatic. That's why they're fanatics.

Forgive me for my bluntness, but that is idiotic.

Edited 2012-08-25 14:00 (UTC)

I have not once claimed I'm not an idiot.

But it's gotten undeniable results. How can you argue those?

I have no proof of them.

That's just childish. I have no proof of any of your claims either. For all I know you're some horrid arbitration demon who means to feed on compromise and negotiation, only to reveal your true form and devour us all when you've brooked enough peaceful settlements.

That makes no sense.

And it makes no sense for me to lie about how I, in Anders' words, held off civil war for years. What do I gain except more work and your derision, exactly? If I was lying I'd make myself sound smarter and much more charming.

[ voice ]

jurisimpudent - 2012-08-25 16:10 (UTC) - Expand

championhawke - 2012-08-25 16:12 (UTC) - Expand

jurisimpudent - 2012-08-25 16:20 (UTC) - Expand

championhawke - 2012-08-25 16:24 (UTC) - Expand