( 03 ) video ✵ i got six friends and they all know your name

[stacked]

So, look, I get everybody's all jazzed about that list or whatever, and people wanna do the mourning thing. All good, have at it.

What I'm wondering though, is what we got working to find out who helped the dead dude get that way. Still pretty new around here so I don't know what you got rigged up already, but where I'm from something like this happens we mount up before there's a dead guy number two.

[ so that was... kind of a job application. if you tilt your head and squint. and to seal the deal. ]

Wouldn't mind helping out.

Comments

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[stacked]

...no, dude. Rip. Like remove completely and toss the bodyparts aside. What part of really goddamn strong passed you up? [ she sounds more exasperated than angry. ] And I didn't say he was eager, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't look me in the eye and pull the trigger and sleep easy about doing it. Me and Wes, we get it. He's practical like that.

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[jurisimpudent]

[A bit impatiently:]

I understood what you meant. [For once.] I'm saying that I've gone up against creatures of considerable strength and my head is still attached. And I rather doubt that friends can simply slaughter each other and then "sleep easy."

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[stacked]

Dude. I'm gonna try and spell this out, so try and listen, yeah? I've fought things that can put one hand on your arm and yank and a second later, your body's in two freaking parts. If I wanted to, I could snap your neck easy as breathing. You don't get what I meant, not really. [ she exhales noisily. ] First of all, me and Wes aren't friends. He's-- [ whatever not like wes can see this. ] He's my Watcher. Whole different thing, right there.

...and I didn't say slaughter, Jesus Christ. I said if I snap and can't get back out, he'll do the mercy kill for me without missing a beat. That's a favor, genius.

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[jurisimpudent]

And what, then? Your body is made of some untearable material? Perhaps you are stronger than I am, but that doesn't mean your flesh is made of iron.

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[stacked]

I'm a Slayer, dumbass. I'm faster, I'm stronger, and when I get hurt I heal quicker. What, did you think I just decided to kill demons for shits and giggles? I got picked, I didn't sign up for this gig.

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[jurisimpudent]

Yes, but does it make your flesh more durable?

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[stacked]

It means I stand a decent chance of dodging and getting in a few hits of my own. Seriously, what the hell is your issue with grasping the basics here? It's like talking to a freaking wall.

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[jurisimpudent]

I'm simply attempting to be factual. I'll accept your assertion of superior dodging skills, though I rather doubt that even you could stand up to something that could rip one limb from limb in seconds.

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[stacked]

Done it a million times, keep doing it until the day I don't move my ass fast enough and Buffy gets a new girl to play her second fiddle.

[ she means die. ]

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[jurisimpudent]

Buffy being...?

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[stacked]

Slayer Prime.

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[jurisimpudent]

There is some hierarchy amongst the slayers, then?

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[stacked]

Not supposed to be. 'S a whole 'one girl in all the world' gig.

[ does she sound bitter? it's because she is nobody ever much liked being the spare half of the heir and the spare. ]

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[jurisimpudent]

Did these powers of yours deputize you in the face of the apocalyptic crisis, then?

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[stacked]

She died, one of her fan club brought her back. I got tapped, because nobody told the whatever it is that makes Slayers they still had somebody up and walking.

[ yeah that'll make sense, well explained faith! ]

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[jurisimpudent]

...Quite.

[Is...No, not going to ask.]

And why were you chosen?

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[stacked]

Because destiny's got shit judgement?

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[jurisimpudent]

Who was responsible for said choosing?

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[stacked]

Whatever it is picks Slayers. Seriously, like I freaking know why.

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[jurisimpudent]

Then...What? Suddenly, at random, someone is a "slayer"?

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[stacked]

One Slayer dies, the next is Called.

[ CLEARLY NOT HER WORDS faith would never speak in portentous caps. ew. ]

Other than that, it's a crapshoot.

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[jurisimpudent]

And the "next one" is chosen at random?

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[stacked]

Far as I can tell. No other reason my ass got tapped for the job.

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[jurisimpudent]

And those who are able to become them - also random.

[ voice | locked by a technophobe ]

[stacked]

'Long as you got tits and are about, like, fifteen? Yeah. Field's wide open.