( 03 ) video ✵ i got six friends and they all know your name

[stacked]

So, look, I get everybody's all jazzed about that list or whatever, and people wanna do the mourning thing. All good, have at it.

What I'm wondering though, is what we got working to find out who helped the dead dude get that way. Still pretty new around here so I don't know what you got rigged up already, but where I'm from something like this happens we mount up before there's a dead guy number two.

[ so that was... kind of a job application. if you tilt your head and squint. and to seal the deal. ]

Wouldn't mind helping out.

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[wolfinthesnow]

But not as wide as the North.

[stacked]

Right, 'cos your North's freaking huge. Wall and all.

[ okay, here's the thing. faith doesn't ask for things. she takes them or she pretends she doesn't care, but she really would like more wall stories, and jon's a decent enough guy... ]

What's it look like? [ totally casual, not at all gonna be disappointed by 'we made it out of scrap metal' or something. ]

[wolfinthesnow]

It is seven hundred feet tall in places, taller in others, and extends three hundred miles from one end of Westeros to the other. It's built of stone, although often ice covers much of it.

[stacked]

Damn.

[ she whistles, low and impressed. ]

You guys build big in Westeros.

[wolfinthesnow]

It is one of the largest structures made by man in Westeros. Only one building is taller, they say, although I have not seen the High Tower of Oldtown to tell you if that is true.

[stacked]

...The what where?

[wolfinthesnow]

The High Tower of Oldtown. It is said to be taller than the Wall, it is in the South.

[stacked]

So you got the North, and the South. Gonna take a wild guess-- got an East and a West, too?

[ wait for it. ]

So what's the tower like?

[wolfinthesnow]

No, just a North and a South.

I've never been there. I've never been South of Winterfell.

[stacked]

...Huh. Weird.

Hometown boy, all right. So talk about Winterfell, no skin off mine.

[wolfinthesnow]

It's an old castle, the grey stones have always been the home of the Starks. They say who holds Winterfell holds the North.

[stacked]

...Jesus.

[ now that is some really really epic storytelling, faith is js. ]

So the Starks are-- kings where it's cold, or something?

[wolfinthesnow]

They were kings, once, before the Targaryens came. They rode dragons, and united the Seven Kingdoms under their rule, and ruled from the South.

Sixteen years ago there was a war that ousted the Targaryens. They had grown mad, the Mad King was killed, and the Baratheon's then ruled, until lately, when King Joffrey killed Eddard Stark, and the North rose up, and Robb claimed his old Kingship.

[stacked]

All right, lemme see if I got this. The Starks used to be in charge, but then the-- Targaryens? [ stumbling over the pronunciation, here. ] rode in on dragons and took over, before they went batshit and the-- yeah, it started with a B? They took over.

...Which kind's the Joffrey punk?

[ because jon is team stark, pretty obviously, so faith is team stark and that joffrey dude sounds like a prick.

...she means what's his last name, 'what kind is he' she's special. ]

[wolfinthesnow]

Baratheons.

He was raised as the son of Robert Baratheon, but the truth is he is the product of his mother, Cersei Baratheon and her twin, Jaime Lannister.

[stacked]

Baratheons.

[ baratheons, starks, targaryens, lannisters. faith is partially team stark because they're the only family she can spell at this point. ]

...Dude. Seriously? [ THIS IS BETTER THAN SPRINGER. ]

[wolfinthesnow]

Yes. Although the Lannisters deny it.

[FINALLY THE TRUTH]

He was to wed my sister Sansa, but I did not truly meet him.

[stacked]

Well, yeah-- they got laws against screwing your sister.

[ OR THEY DO WHERE FAITH'S FROM. ]

Lucky break on your sister-- kids like that are supposed to be all screwed up. Saw it on the History Channel once, like 'don't fuck your family 101' or something.

[wolfinthesnow]

Either way, it makes Joffrey a bastard.

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[hisfinestact]

Ah, that old slander. I suppose it was only a matter of time before one of you couldn't help themselves. Though, I must say I'm surprised it was you Snow.

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[wolfinthesnow]

I didn't imagine it was that old, Ser Jaime. Do you deny it?

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[hisfinestact]

It becomes old very quickly when you've heard it as often as I have. [ Jaime raises his eyebrows to emphasize this point. ]

People say that Stannis Baratheon prays to a red god and drinks the blood of virgin maidens. I'm sure hearing it again would seem old to him. Just as I'm sure you're tired of hearing talk of how the Night's Watch wouldn't be able to find its own backside with a map.

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[wolfinthesnow]

Parts of that are true, although I do not think Stannis Baratheon cares what anyone truly thinks of him.

[Except Stannis sends Jon men and the Lannisters send him moles.]

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[stacked]

...So you're that dude, huh?

[ IF SHE HAD POPCORN

she would be reenacting a gif with it. ]

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[hisfinestact]

I am "that dude," yes. I see you already know our Lord Snow, so I won't try to convince you that my word is worth more than his. In most circumstances, it isn't. In this... [ He trails off with a shrug. ]