001 ☠ text/video

[kringlefuck]

_{[ Upon arrival, the only thing he could really think about was her. Her. Where did she go? Who was she? How could he get in contact with her again? The jump and whole waking up in your underwear fiasco was enough to send him in a tizzy, but Jake's mind was still focused on one thing and one thing in particular... and that was finding her. Never mind the fact he was in a whole new scenario here and off his island he had grown up on and never even left. He felt exposed and unprepared, and one could say he was actually freaking out right now. Still disoriented from the jump, Jake seems to disregard everything else besides her. She was the very last thing he remembered, and he wasn't sure what was going on. A glimpse of her, then he wakes up here, still feeling sore from a match he had with his sparring partner where he "royally had his ass kicked." He sends out a text to anybody, anything, and makes it sound urgent. ]}

Holy cheese and crackers! Where the blue blazes is this??
Ahoy there! Respond asap!! THIS IS AN URGENT MESSAGE TO ANY PERSONS WHO ARE RECEIVING. THOSE WHO HAVE EYES AND CAN SEE AND PROPERLY READ SHOULD CONTACT!! I dont mean to alarm anybody or anything who may read this so i beg of you to not get your knickers in a right bundle at my intense message but rather correspond to my plea!
IN CASE YOU HAVENT NOTICED WEVE BEEN KIDNAPPED! HOODWINKED BAMBOOZLED AND HIJACKED INTO SOME SPIELBURGESQUE VOYAGE INTO THE UNKNOWN!! As bloody ace and invigorating as it sounds forgive my botherations here whilst i send out an SOS to locate a certain person on this spaceship..

Right so here it goes! All im needing to know right now is if shes aboard this craft! The proper cerulean spider-chick undead damsel i was having a conversation with!
Well not exactly a conversation but we exchanged a smoldering glance at one another it couldnt have happened any more romantically than how it did. A picture-esque smashing blockbuster hit. Im near certain we were meant to be together like peas and peaches.
IF YOU ARE HER I WOULD SIMPLY LIKE TO APOLOGIZE GREATLY FOR MY DUMBFOUNDED EXPRESSION AND LACK OF WORDS TO CONVEY. I am typically quite the dashing chatterbox so pardon and excuse my mess!
Phew.
*Gently withdrawals a kerchief to*
Aw jeeze louise. They took my handkerchief too. Dag nabit.
How the devilfucking dickens do you properly operate such a queer device here??

[ As odd as it is, Jake doesn't question where any of his friends are or anything else. He seems rather intent on finding whoever it is he is looking for... even more so than asking where he is and how to get back home.
He's fiddling around with the communicator, turning it on for a moment. We see the carrier appears to be tanned and in his late teens with dark hair, and his face is bruised and swollen in some areas. It especially looks like the side of his mouth is busted. It statics and goes out after he swears a bit, but that's all we see.]

Comments

[audio]

[testgasm]

Okay, look, green text, you're not going to get any answers if you don't calm down.

I haven't seen any lady-types like that, though. Sorry.

text; 1.2

[kringlefuck]

Aw nuts you havent seen her either?? This is really a problem. My george i swear on my grave i will find this girl before i meet my death bed.

Im calm as i can be!! For crying in a bucket i just got kidnapped and youre saying i should STAY CALM?? Good heavens my fine fella im trying my hardest here.

Lets see if i can figure out this audio bollocks.
Your speaking actually reminds me of that of my very own.

audio; 2.2

[kringlefuck]

_{[ Some fidgeting, and then finally Jake gets it. ]}

Hello? Ahoy? Are you there now or did I break it? Are you there?

_{[ He has an accent too and it's actually very similar to yours, Wheatley. ]}

[perma-voice]

[testgasm]

[He manages to sound a little surprised--it isn't often he meets other people with his particular brand of accent, after all.]

Yes! I'm here. Hello!

Anyway, I can keep an eye out. There are a lot of people aboard, now, so you never know.

[kringlefuck]

Ah, greatly appreciated. Good man. Do you have a name, perhaps before we carry on this conversation?

[testgasm]

I do, yes! It's Wheatley. And you are...?

[kringlefuck]

Wheatley! Good God, I don't believe I have heard that name before. Perhaps in some movie that I saw a long time ago and hardly remember much if any of the occurrences in it.

You may call me Jake. Jake English. I'm aware my name is dapper as fuck; you haven't the need to remind me of that.

How long have you been on this voyage, sir?

[testgasm]

It's...unique. I'm told. But, you know, beside the point. It's, ah. Good to meet you, Jake.

I've been here since--since we all started showing up. Let's see, if you lot are zero-zero-eight, then it's been. Seven months. For me.

[kringlefuck]

_{[ w.............hat. ]}

SEVEN MONTHS!? HOLY CHRISTOFER KRINGLEFUCKING CHRIST...!!
WHY THE DEUCE HAVEN'T YOU MEN RALLIED TOGETHER AND DEFEATED THE PERSONS BEHIND ALL OF THIS YET!?!?
Are you just simply BUYING TIME??? Who the blue devils does that sort of shit!?!?

WHY HAVEN'T YOU PROPERLY SERVED THEIR ASSES ON A PLATE THROUGH A SESSION OF THE OLE LEFT AND RIGHT FISTIES OR OTHERWISE BLOWN THEM INTO OBLIVION WITH YOUR AMMUNITION!??!?

Surely I'm not the only one here with guns!!

[testgasm]

[WOAH

WOAH THERE]

Okay, okay, hang on, see, this is all a bit more complicated than you might think. Nobody really knows what happened, and it isn't going to do any good to start assaulting people.

[kringlefuck]

HOW IS IT MORE COMPLICATED!!??!!
FIND THE SOURCE OF THE PROBLEM AND TEACH 'EM A LESSON OR TWO!!!

LET ME AT THEM!!!

[testgasm]

I mean, if you want to go attacking the so-called captain and his ladyfriend, by all means go for it. Just...don't be surprised if it ends badly. For you.

[kringlefuck]

Badly?! How the blazes could it end up badly?
I am been preparing myself for the utmost sort of combat my entire life and now here is an opportune moment to shine!

I suppose figuring out a plan wouldn't be a bad thought but come on, man!

[testgasm]

We're in the deepest reaches of space, for one. Can't just go rushing head-first into something like this.

[kringlefuck]

_{[ A pause.... ]}

--I guess you're right. There should be at least some sort of planning of organization as to what ought to be done.
Have people tried that yet?

[testgasm]

We did have--there was someone who tried to mutiny, but he was sort of an idiot about it and got thrown in the brig. Served him right.

[kringlefuck]

_{[ .. ]}

Oh my.
What if a selection of people banned together and tried to do that task all together? Instead of just one fellow; why not a whole bunch?
I mean, certainly more than half of the people here don't want to be on this ship.

[testgasm]

Be my guest. But, uh, unless you have someone who knows how to pilot this thing...

[kringlefuck]

But see, even then you don't get it! There are ways of having torture or any sort of other threats to get what we need out of the pilots managing this. If enough people got the guts and banned together, it wouldn't be that difficult!

Hold them at gun point. You know, do things to make them work without killing them. Certainly there's a creative way to get what we need, right?