( 06 ) video + text ♧ we all deserve the finer things in this life

[became]

[ neal's been bored, and that survey-- and the guy giving it-- have been amusing him for a while. now it's his turn, obviously. he turns a studiously serious face down to the camera. ]

Since surveys have already proved so effective, I thought I'd toss my hat into the ring. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Moz, don't touch my hats.

[ this is not an evil smile, what. ]

Enjoy, and remember to answer candidly and as completely as you can.

1. What is your name? 2. What is your quest? (Consider this my Python shoutout.) 3. What is round as a dishpan, deep as a tub, and still the oceans couldn't fill it up? 4. Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Kardashian party? 5. In exactly 27 words, explain why surveys are a noneffective method of answer gathering. 6. Cary Grant + Humphrey Bogart = ?, explain your answer. 7. New York, New York, it's a hell of a town. True. 8. He who has it doesn't tell it. He who takes it doesn't know it. He who knows it doesn't want it. What is it? 9. In essay form, please explain why the waistcoat is an important part of any suit. 10. Neruda, Dali, and Kierkegaard enter a bar. Finish the punchline. 11. Why are the Kardashians famous? If you can explain this in a way that makes any sense, without the words 'Paris Hilton', you get a prize. 12. Let's talk about the Oxford comma. 13. Go ahead and make up your own question here. 14. Name the most important of the Three Stooges. 15. Name the least appealing item on the McDonald's menu. (This is a trick question.) 16. Why are you bothering with this survey? 17. Name the most influential painter of the 18th century. 18. LA Confidential was robbed during the '97 Oscars, this isn't an opinion. 19. If you were going to vote for President of the World, who would you elect? 20. Kraft "cheese": science's worst mistake. This one isn't a question either. 21. Name your top ten poets. 22. Monet and Manet are two different painters. Discuss. <b>Agree or disagree with the following statements.</b> 23. Surveys are a waste of time. 24. Big Brother is watching you. 25. Anyone with a Mario mustache deserves the teasing they get. 26. Questions with absolute answers are boring. 27. I deserve a drycleaners.

Comments

[video]

[jurisimpudent]

[Edgeworth glares.]

Unfunny.

[video]

[became]

Hilarious.

text;

[cons]

1. What is your name?
Wichita Kansas
2. What is your quest?
To find the holy grail.
3. What is round as a dishpan, deep as a tub, and still the oceans couldn't fill it up?
Is this a pick-up line?
4. Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Kardashian party?
I think I missed something.
5. In exactly 27 words, explain why surveys are an noneffective method of answer gathering.
The whole thing is that with surveys, they're either incredibly boring or they're worded so biasly (that's a word) that it makes it impossible to answer honestly.
6. Cary Grant + Humphrey Bogart = Neal Caffrey's ideal threesome? I know those names only because I've heard you say them. This is my answer.
7. New York, New York, it's a hell of a town. True.
Did you just answer this one for me? I'll agree, but I'm a bigger fan of the south. Austin,Texas, now that was a fun city.
8. He who has it doesn't tell it. He who takes it doesn't know it. He who knows it doesn't want it. What is it?
Fake... money, or fake anything. Counterfeits.
9. In essay form, please explain why the waistcoat is an important part of any suit.
Neal I've already told you, your tummy is hardly noticeable, you don't need to wear a waistcoat to try and slim yourself down. ( do you really want me to continue on this essay topic? )
10. Neruda, Dali, and Kierkegaard enter a bar. Finish the punchline.
You're such a nerd!!
11. Why are the Kardashians famous? If you can explain this in a way that makes any sense, without the words 'Paris Hilton', you get a prize.
Who are the Kardashians?! The name rings a bell, but I can't remember.
12. Let's talk about the Oxford comma.
... Okay. Yeah, I can't think of a clever sentence that requires one. Maybe I'll come back to this one. Maybe.
13. Go ahead and make up your own question here.
Q: Why am I answering these questions? A: Beats me.
14. Name the most important of the Three Stooges.
Don't ask me things like that, Neal.
15. Name the least appealing item on the McDonald's menu. (This is a trick question.)
This question makes me sad.
16. Why are you bothering with this survey?
Because I didn't do the last one, and I figure ignoring two in a row is just asking for trouble.
17. Name the most influential painter of the 18th century.
I'd rather you tell me.
18. LA Confidential was robbed during the '98 Oscars, this isn't an opinion.
You really are 40, aren't you?
19. If you were going to vote for President of the World, who would you elect?
There are only about five people left in my world, so I'm gonna go with me. Since the other three are my sister, Columbus who's... not President of the World material, and Tallahassee, who's-- also not President material. My sister would be my Vice, naturally.
20. Kraft "cheese": science's worst mistake. This one isn't a question either.
What!!? Make the perfect box of Kraft macaroni and cheese and say that again.
21. Name your top ten poets.
Bill Murray, Gilda Radner, Jane Curtin, Steve Martin, John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase, Laraine Newman, Jim Carrey, Mike Meyers. Oh, sorry, I replaced 'poets' with 'comedians'.
22. Monet and Manet are two different painters. Discuss.
Can I just say O vs. A or is that cheating?

Agree or disagree with the following statements.
23. Surveys are a waste of time. Disagree.
24. Big Brother is watching you. Agree.
25. Anyone with a Mario mustache deserves the teasing they get. Agree. But also an equal amount of praise, in some cases.
26. Questions with absolute answers are boring. Agree?
27. I deserve a drycleaners. Aw.

text;

[became]

I'm not even thirty five yet, and also I'm disowning you.

Sherlock loves you Neal

[consulting]

1. Name: Sherlock Holmes
2. Age: 33
3. Profession: Consulting Detective

4. What is the current year? 2010
5. What you call your homeworld: Earth
6. What you call your home country and city: London
7. What you call your species: Dumb
8. Are there other sentient species in your place of origin? If so, what are they called?:

> Attached file
> Sentientspecies.txt

9. Does extraterrestrial life exist?: No.
10. Have people from your world landed on other planets?: No.
11. Have people from your world opened other dimensions?: No.
12. Are there people in your world who have "super-powers" - i.e., are they capable of feats of which other people would be completely incapable?: No.
13. Do you have such a "super-power"?: Yes.

14. Name some significant works of literature: The Murders of Rue Morgue, Lecoq, the entirety of Shakespeare
15. Name what you consider the most significant/cutting-edge technological invention of the past decade: The Blackberry
16. What activities do you engage in during your free time?: I play the violin when I'm thinking.
17. Who is the greatest military/political leader of all time?: John Watson.
18. What was the most devastating war of all time?: Wars are dull
19. The leader of your country is: My brother.
20. Name some of the greatest scientists in your history: Roger Bacon, Dmitri Mendeleyev, John Dalton, Charles Darwin, Theodore Richards, Carl Scheele + Joseph Priestly
21. Name some of the greatest philosophers in your history: Descartes, Socrates, Nietzsche
22. Name some of the greatest statesmen in your history: Boring.

Agree or disagree with the following statements.
22. I trust in science above magic. Agree
23. I trust my government. disagree
24. Freedom is more important than security. Agree
25. Being brought aboard the Tranquility is the worst thing to happen to me. disagree
26. I wish to return home. Meh
27. I deserve a voice in what goes on aboard this ship. Agree.

he takes his rendered praise in cash, check, and BOOTY

[became]

That's not even MY survey. Copout.

TEXT;

[andblockbuster]

You're a gentleman and a scholar.

1. What is your name? Still Topher Brink.
2. What is your quest? To find the Ark of the Covenant. The Holy Grail is so last millennium.
3. What is round as a dishpan, deep as a tub, and still the oceans couldn't fill it up? Edgeworth's soul. He's also gonna snap and go Carrie at the prom on you. I said it first.
4. Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Kardashian party? No, but I do know some things about the Jonas Brothers that would make a grown man cry.
5. In exactly 27 words, explain why surveys are a noneffective method of answer gathering. 'Cause I'm gonna be spending all that time I could be contemplating my answer, painstakingly counting how many words my answer is?
6. Cary Grant + Humphrey Bogart = Who wants to bet that two of the three Sherlocks say "me?"
7. New York, New York, it's a hell of a town. Forget it, it's Chinatown.
8. He who has it doesn't tell it. He who takes it doesn't know it. He who knows it doesn't want it. What is it? I don't answer riddles that might incriminate me.
9. In essay form, please explain why the waistcoat is an important part of any suit.
10. Neruda, Dali, and Kierkegaard enter a bar. Finish the punchline. Who cares? None of them would think it was funny.
11. Why are the Kardashians famous? If you can explain this in a way that makes any sense, without the words 'Paris Hilton', you get a prize. Because people have a sick fascination with watching famous people be more depraved than they'll ever be.
12. Let's talk about the Oxford comma. Can we not?
13. Go ahead and make up your own question here. Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

14. Name the most important of the Three Stooges. I always thought they were mostly interchangeable.
15. Name the least appealing item on the McDonald's menu. You're right. It is a trick question.
16. Why are you bothering with this survey? Smiley hasn't poked his little emoticon face out, we're not all dying of space plague, and why not indulge the section of the ship that just really likes being insufferable?
17. Name the most influential painter of the 18th century. [Intentionally left blank.]
18. LA Confidential was robbed during the '98 Oscars, this isn't an opinion. IAWTS.
19. If you were going to vote for President of the World, who would you elect? That's hard. Can't I just put all the contenders in a cage fight and let them duke it out?
20. Kraft "cheese": science's worst mistake. This one isn't a question either. Blasphemy.
21. Name your top ten poets. Does writing surveys require a certain level of pretentiousness or can anyone do it?
22. Monet and Manet are two different painters. Discuss. See #21.

Agree or disagree with the following statements.
23. Surveys are a waste of time. What's between the two answers?
24. Big Brother is watching you. Sure he is.
25. Anyone with a Mario mustache deserves the teasing they get. Especially if they're actually Italian.
26. Questions with absolute answers are boring. Yes.
27. I deserve a drycleaners. I, at least, an assistant who'll do my laundry for me.

TEXT;

[became]

I do try.

3. Your concern for me is touching. I am, of course, a martyr for the cause.
4. I don't want to know.
7. Fair edit, I'll accept it.
10. I don't know, Kierkegaard might get a kick out of it.
13. Don't insult the suit. The suit is a classic.

15. You passed, congratulations. Now go in peace to never let a McNugget pass your lips.
20. And here I thought I liked you. Kraft. Why?
21. We train for years to get this pretentious, actually.

text;

[adlered]

1. What is your name?
I don't need to tell you that.

2. What is your quest?
Monty Python, you are becoming less charming by the moment.

3. What is round as a dishpan, deep as a tub, and still the oceans couldn't fill it up?
A sieve. Try harder.

4. Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Kardashian party?
No, but I know what the one with the large behind likes.

5. In exactly 27 words, explain why surveys are a noneffective method of answer gathering.
Some refuse to take the surveys seriously, while others lie and the ones who do tell the truth skew the data in one direction or the other.

6. Cary Grant + Humphrey Bogart = ?, explain your answer.
Not you, if that's what you're aiming for. Though if you call me Bacall, I'd advise against marrying me like Bogart did or proposing like Sinatra. And we all know the rumors about Mr. Grant, the charming fellow he was.

7. New York, New York, it's a hell of a town.
Your bias is showing.

8. He who has it doesn't tell it. He who takes it doesn't know it. He who knows it doesn't want it. What is it?
Something I think you know quite a bit about.

9. In essay form, please explain why the waistcoat is an important part of any suit.
I'm not wearing a waistcoat and I'm wearing a suit. So not today.

10. Neruda, Dali, and Kierkegaard enter a bar. Finish the punchline.
I refuse because that is a horrible punchline.

11. Why are the Kardashians famous? If you can explain this in a way that makes any sense, without the words 'Paris Hilton', you get a prize.
They know what people like, it may not be what you like, but enough people like what they provide. Therefore, they become famous because they cater to the whims of their audience. Also, the aforementioned behind in an early question may have a certain draw.

12. Let's talk about the Oxford comma.
Must we, I fear that will be a very long conversation indeed.

13. Go ahead and make up your own question here.
I don't think I will.

14. Name the most important of the Three Stooges.
You're slowly going down to levels of Sir Olivier in charm. :(

15. Name the least appealing item on the McDonald's menu. (This is a trick question.)
You assume I've eaten it.

16. Why are you bothering with this survey?
You know why.

17. Name the most influential painter of the 18th century.
You are positively incorrigible.

18. LA Confidential was robbed during the '98 Oscars, this isn't an opinion.
Shakespeare in Love could have been worse. I can think of far worse cases of robbery.

19. If you were going to vote for President of the World, who would you elect?
You already know the answer. And I'm hardly going to reveal that to the public.

20. Kraft "cheese": science's worst mistake. This one isn't a question either.
Again, a few things are worse, but mostly agreed.

21. Name your top ten poets.
Guess.

22. Monet and Manet are two different painters. Discuss.
One is more known for people, the other isn't. I'm not giving away the answer to the cheaters.

Agree or disagree with the following statements.
23. Surveys are a waste of time.
I've been multitasking during this.

24. Big Brother is watching you.
1984 is a horrible book.

25. Anyone with a Mario mustache deserves the teasing they get.
...If partnered with horrible ties, definitely.

26. Questions with absolute answers are boring.
Undoubtedly.

27. I deserve a drycleaners.
Have you truly gotten them that soiled? How shameful. Share it.

text;

[became]

I can't believe you actually answered it all seriously. You, Irene Adler, are something.

[text]

[doggedly]

boring

[text]

[became]

What's the phrase? "There's no real reason to ever be bored, only boring people"?

[ neal's reason for doing this: "i was bored". hypocrite, table of him. ]

video; 1/2

[reticencies]

[Sarah is just staring in shock for moment because not only does he sound like Bryce, but he looks exactly like him. Okay, sure they did talk not too long ago but she was sort of having her doubts about it given what was going on at the time]

video;

[reticencies]

Wow, you must really be bored.

[She would have started off asking her questions, but those were better left to ask him in person instead of a public broadcast like this, at least given the topic]

text.

[topology]

[ And look who decided on selective reading in 3, 2, 1... ] Monet came from a poor family. Manet's was an affluent one with political connections. Manet was never part of the core group of Impressionists unlike Monet, who was considered a master of the school.

[ As somewhat of an addendum: ]

You'd think a spaceship would have a drycleaners.

text.

[became]

[ arthur please will you allow neal to idk suck your dick in gratitude YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, HE NEEDS CULTURE AND HE'S SURROUNDED BY HEATHENS. ]

I wouldn't have taken you for an art historian, I'm impressed. Manet always rejected the label impressionist, anyway. Too risky.

The most glaring mistake of all, on decent sized list.

[majestyofthethrone]

1. What is your name? Seraphim Dias

2. What is your quest?
I quest for the Grail!

3. What is round as a dishpan, deep as a tub, and still the oceans couldn't fill it up?
A sieve?

4. Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Kardashian party?
I don't have enough sex for that....

5. In exactly 27 words, explain why surveys are a noneffective method of answer gathering.
I'm better with numbers.

6. Cary Grant + Humphrey Bogart =
Brad Pitt Colin Farrell
Legends + SWAT
of the
Fall

7. New York, New York, it's a hell of a town. True.
True

8. He who has it doesn't tell it. He who takes it doesn't know it. He who knows it doesn't want it. What is it?
A secret.

9. In essay form, please explain why the waistcoat is an important part of any suit.
Because a pocket square would look silly with a rucked up shirt.

10. Neruda, Dali, and Kierkegaard enter a bar. Finish the punchline.
Borges says, "But the library is closed!"

11. Why are the Kardashians famous? If you can explain this in a way that makes any sense, without the words 'Paris Hilton', you get a prize.
Because OJ Simpson was guilty.

12. Let's talk about the Oxford comma.
I'm not good at English, Literature, and Nobel Prize winning poets.

13. Go ahead and make up your own question here.
How many hours before someone goes crazy from lack of sleep?

14. Name the most important of the Three Stooges.
The 3.

15. Name the least appealing item on the McDonald's menu. (This is a trick question.)
Apple Pie.

16. Why are you bothering with this survey?
It keeps me from sleeping.

17. Name the most influential painter of the 18th century.
Trick question.

18. LA Confidential was robbed during the '98 Oscars, this isn't an opinion.
I believe you.

19. If you were going to vote for President of the World, who would you elect?
Tony Stark.

20. Kraft "cheese": science's worst mistake. This one isn't a question either.
It's one polymer away from plastic!

21. Name your top ten poets.
Descartes, Mozart, Bach, Archimedes, Euclid, Fermat, Schubert, Prokoliev, Rieman. Oh, that's nine.

I like Frost.

22. Monet and Manet are two different painters. Discuss.
They had tragically similar names. Manet had more angst, Monet had more lilies.

Agree or disagree with the following statements.
23. Surveys are a waste of time. Sometimes.
24. Big Brother is watching you. Always.
25. Anyone with a Mario mustache deserves the teasing they get. No.
26. Questions with absolute answers are boring. Yes.
27. I deserve a drycleaners. Probably.

text

[became]

Well, if I actually had a prize you'd get it. Nice call on the Borges, by the way.

[allucinator]

1. What is your name? jack kelly
2. What is your quest? to finish this survey without falling asleep
3. What is round as a dishpan, deep as a tub, and still the oceans couldn't fill it up? does it matter that's the question and the answer is no, no it doesn't.
4. Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Kardashian party? if I say yes do I get to go to a special club?
5. In exactly 27 words, explain why surveys are a noneffective method of answer gathering. because people ask shitty questions and think they're so clever when they do, but they ain't actually trying to more things, they're just trying to get information.
6. Cary Grant + Humphrey Bogart = names that will get your children beat up
7. New York, New York, it's a hell of a town. True. This isn't a question but yes. Yes it is true.
8. He who has it doesn't tell it. He who takes it doesn't know it. He who knows it doesn't want it. What is it? if you'd stop asking pointless riddles maybe you'd learn not to take fake money.
9. In essay form, please explain why the waistcoat is an important part of any suit. it isn't.
10. Neruda, Dali, and Kierkegaard enter a bar. Finish the punchline. you didn't say please.
11. Why are the Kardashians famous? If you can explain this in a way that makes any sense, without the words 'Paris Hilton', you get a prize. I am from 1899.
12. Let's talk about the Oxford comma. let's talk. you start.
13. Go ahead and make up your own question here. how do you make those little boxes?

14. Name the most important of the Three Stooges. I am from 1899.
15. Name the least appealing item on the McDonald's menu. (This is a trick question.) I AM FROM 1899.
16. Why are you bothering with this survey? do you know what there is to do on this ship (the answer is nothing).
17. Name the most influential painter of the 18th century. van goah
18. LA Confidential was robbed during the '98 Oscars, this isn't an opinion. ARE YOU NOT UNDERSTANDING THAT WE ARE NOT ALL FROM 2000 SOMETHING



no fuck this
it is boring

text

[became]

[ ...keller did you time travel. ]

I could be wrong-- but let me guess. You're from 1899?

text.

[tofindthesun]

1. tolkien.
2. i am not at liberty to say.
3. my heart.
5. seeing as our languages are structured differently, i do not believe the translation would be accurate.

16. hoping for a chance at entertainment.
21. bilbo baggins, bilbo baggins, bilbo baggins...

23. not if there is time to waste.
26. agreed.

i apologize for any lack of information.

((ooc: re:1 dave said it first.))

text.

[became]

No, that was-- let's stick with illuminating.

[constructum]

1. What is your name? Ariadne
2. What is your quest? To seek the holy grail. (I wish that line was as funny here as it is back home)
3. What is round as a dishpan, deep as a tub, and still the oceans couldn't fill it up? A sieve
4. Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Kardashian party? Do I honestly look like the type that would hang out with them?
5. In exactly 27 words, explain why surveys are a noneffective method of answer gathering. People lie. Don't need 27 words to say that.

6. Cary Grant + Humphrey Bogart = People that should have been in a movie together. (Bacall was a lucky woman)
7. New York, New York, it's a hell of a town. True. I prefer Paris. Sorry.
8. He who has it doesn't tell it. He who takes it doesn't know it. He who knows it doesn't want it. What is it? Something counterfeit?
9. In essay form, please explain why the waistcoat is an important part of any suit. Good question. I'm just going to leave this one alone. You should talk to my friend about it though.
10. Neruda, Dali, and Kierkegaard enter a bar. Finish the punchline. I don't get the joke. :/ But why those three? I mean, a Poet, a Painter and a Philosopher. I don't get it. This joke is funny right?
11. Why are the Kardashians famous? If you can explain this in a way that makes any sense, without the words 'Paris Hilton', you get a prize. Do you have a thing for them? I mean, is that why you are asking all these random questions?
12. Let's talk about the Oxford comma. Who gives a fuck about an Oxford Comma?
13. Go ahead and make up your own question here. I'm curious as to why you felt the need to do this?

14. Name the most important of the Three Stooges. Larry. He doesn't get enough love.
15. Name the least appealing item on the McDonald's menu. (This is a trick question.) Right now, they all sound pretty appealing. I'd even go as far as saying the McRibb.
16. Why are you bothering with this survey? Curiosity
17. Name the most influential painter of the 18th century. Georg Wenzeslaus von Knobelsdorff. He was a German painter and Architect.
18. LA Confidential was robbed during the '98 Oscars, this isn't an opinion. I still don't understand how Shakespear in Love won that.
19. If you were going to vote for President of the World, who would you elect? What's the point of knowing this?
20. Kraft "cheese": science's worst mistake. This one isn't a question either. Youre going to talk about cheese now, really?
21. Name your top ten poets. Poe. Neruda. Keats. Frost. Angelou. Bukowski. Plath. Dickson. Whitman. Hardy.
22. Monet and Manet are two different painters. Discuss. They were both French and tended to be associated with impressionism.

Agree or disagree with the following statements.
23. Surveys are a waste of time. Depends
24. Big Brother is watching you. Depends on who you are
25. Anyone with a Mario mustache deserves the teasing they get. No one deserves to be teased.
26. Questions with absolute answers are boring. Nothing is boring unless you make it boring.
27. I deserve a drycleaners. Do you really?

[consulting]

I've seen those English dramas too.

SH

[text]

[backwordscompatible]

Is this a new trend nobody told me about?

[text]

[became]

That all depends. Right now I think it's technically a parody. If more people catch on, then it's a trend.

[ JUST GONNA ANSWER THAT SERIOUSLY. YEP. ]

[rebelled]

[proof that he likes you, neal. he's taking his time to type this all out carefully]

1. Castiel
2. To keep Raphael from restarting the Apocalypse. Why are you shouting at snakes?
3. I do not know.
4. What is a Kardashian?
5. Why do you want twenty seven words? And why would you conduct a survey if you didn't believe the answers would be of some benefit to you?
6. I do not understand the question.
7. This is not a question.
8. The truth.
9. It isn't.
10. What's a punchline?
11. I still don't know who they are.
12. Alright.
13. Why are you doing this?
14. What are they?
15. I have only ever eaten food from diners, convenience stores, and a restaurant called White Castle.
16. Because you asked.
17. I don't know.
18. What is LA Confidential?
19. No one individual should have control over the entire population of the planet.
20. You do not like cheese?
21. I don't know.
22. What is there to discuss?
23. Disagree. Though I am still not entirely sure what it is you wish to learn from these questions.
24. No, he isn't.
25. What is a Mario mustache?
26. Disagree.
27. Are you incapable of doing your own laundry?

[became]

...You're not serious.

[ DINERS, CONVENIENCE STORES AND WHITE CASTLE

SOMEONE FETCH NEAL'S SMELLING SALTS, HE FEELS A FAINT COMING ON. ]

video;

[stimulations]

I imagine this would seem more entertaining than Mr. Edgeworth's if I understood the - no doubt hilarious, of course - references. As it is, I'd say they tie on tediousness, with his gaining a small lead for at least having a point.

video;

[became]

Hey, this had a point.

voice;

[20mentholkools]

Getting bored, Caffrey?

voice;

[became]

"Getting" would be an understatement.

[ additionally, when you can't just go steal some priceless art, trolling is always a good second option. this is his version of playful. ]

text;

[blunted]

1. What is your name? plead the fifth.
2. What is your quest? (Consider this my Python shoutout.) plead the fifth.
3. What is round as a dishpan, deep as a tub, and still the oceans couldn't fill it up? sieve.
4. Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Kardashian party? that one time in prague, maybe.
5. In exactly 27 words, explain why surveys are a noneffective method of answer gathering. no one should need 27 words to say that surveys are bullshit.
6. Cary Grant + Humphrey Bogart = ?, explain your answer. heh.
7. New York, New York, it's a hell of a town. True.
New York, New York --
A hell of a town,
The Bronx is up and the Battery's down.
The People ride in a hole in the ground.
New York, New York --
It's a hell of a town.
8. He who has it doesn't tell it. He who takes it doesn't know it. He who knows it doesn't want it. What is it? counterfeit bills.
9. In essay form, please explain why the waistcoat is an important part of any suit. hell if i know.
10. Neruda, Dali, and Kierkegaard enter a bar. Finish the punchline. if it doesn't end in a bar fight it's a waste.
11. Why are the Kardashians famous? If you can explain this in a way that makes any sense, without the words 'Paris Hilton', you get a prize. define "prize" caffrey.
12. Let's talk about the Oxford comma. let's not.
13. Go ahead and make up your own question here. n/a

14. Name the most important of the Three Stooges. moe.
15. Name the least appealing item on the McDonald's menu. (This is a trick question.)
16. Why are you bothering with this survey? plead the fifth.
17. Name the most influential painter of the 18th century. always had a preferance for guardi, assuming you can tell his work apart from canaletto's.
18. LA Confidential was robbed during the '98 Oscars, this isn't an opinion. it was fifteen years ago, caffrey. let it go.
19. If you were going to vote for President of the World, who would you elect? me.
20. Kraft "cheese": science's worst mistake. This one isn't a question either. you're too fussy. there's nothing wrong with kraft cheese.
21. Name your top ten poets. neruda. hikmet. frost. ginsberg. bukowski. byron. keats. larkin. merrill. elliot.
22. Monet and Manet are two different painters. Discuss. monet married his mistress, manet has syphilis. and difference in technique, brush strokes and approaches to impressionism, but i covered the important part already.

Agree or disagree with the following statements.
23. Surveys are a waste of time. yes.
24. Big Brother is watching you. moz must love this question.
25. Anyone with a Mario mustache deserves the teasing they get. yes.
26. Questions with absolute answers are boring. yes.
27. I deserve a drycleaners. do your own laundry, lazy bastard.

text;

[became]

4. That wasn't a Kardashian, thank you very much.
6. Shut up.
7. See? That's more like it.
9. It's called "presentation". Or "style".
10. I'd put money on Dali.
11. Good and/or service rendered for accomplishment of the impossible. (In this situation, at least.)

17. You know I can, even with a Bellotto too in the mix just for fun.
18. No, because you know I'm right. Even you can't argue for Titanic.
20. There is everything wrong with it.
21. ...fine, even I can't argue with that. (Although-- what, no Whitman?)

24. I threw it in for him.
27. I'm not lazy, suits need different care. Heathen.

[kingofbabylon]

1. What is your name? Ben Dover
2. What is your quest? I seek the holy grail of space ass
3. What is round as a dishpan, deep as a tub, and still the oceans couldn't fill it up? I don't do riddles, Neal. I just sit and look pretty.
4. Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Kardashian party? I'm the littlest sister allergic to tanning beds
5. In exactly 27 words, explain why surveys are a noneffective method of answer gathering. Itemized lists just make my caged creative soul so much inclined to answer in the most useless, facetious way possible. I also have a distaste for scantrons.
6. Cary Grant + Humphrey Bogart = ?, explain your answer. #People Who Shoved Have Been Cloned For Flawless Genes
7. New York, New York, it's a hell of a town. True. And a good place to go if you want to steal your ex-lover's credit cards and run away to become a goo-goo boy.
8. He who has it doesn't tell it. He who takes it doesn't know it. He who knows it doesn't want it. What is it? I got lost after 'takes it'.
9. In essay form, please explain why the waistcoat is an important part of any suit. Have you ever seen a man strip off a waist coat? Formal wear strippers will forever be my favorite.
10. Neruda, Dali, and Kierkegaard enter a bar. Finish the punchline. None of them are Magritte and thus I'm too sad to finish this (but unf, Dali)
11. Why are the Kardashians famous? If you can explain this in a way that makes any sense, without the words 'Paris Hilton', you get a prize. Plastic surgery
12. Let's talk about the Oxford comma. Subtle but necessary
13. Go ahead and make up your own question here. Favorite movement, any century, any medium, Neal. Go.

14. Name the most important of the Three Stooges. Moe. That bowl cut...
15. Name the least appealing item on the McDonald's menu. (This is a trick question.) The whole goddamn thing is vomit inducing.
16. Why are you bothering with this survey? Because I love you, Neal, and I love the things that you do. Please accept my affection lest I have to pull out the boombox and stand under your window.
17. Name the most influential painter of the 18th century. Going to say Goya because its academically correct but I'd rather say Hokusai because I love block prints.
18. LA Confidential was robbed during the '97 Oscars, this isn't an opinion. Would you like to talk about it?
19. If you were going to vote for President of the World, who would you elect? Tyra Banks
20. Kraft "cheese": science's worst mistake. This one isn't a question either. You're trying to make me puke, aren't you?
21. Name your top ten poets. I don't do poetry. T.S. Eliot?
22. Monet and Manet are two different painters. Discuss. Monet paints pretty duck ponds. Manet painted fucking Olympia and that work is fierce.

Agree or disagree with the following statements.
23. Surveys are a waste of time. Agree
24. Big Brother is watching you. Agree
25. Anyone with a Mario mustache deserves the teasing they get. Agree
26. Questions with absolute answers are boring. Agree
27. I deserve a drycleaners. Fucking Agree

[became]

Let it never be said you have a one track mind. There are at least three tracks in there.

No boomboxes required for returned affection, really.

text;

[ringbearer]

1. Frodo Baggins
2. My business is my own.
4. I've never been to such parties.
13. How bored are you?
16. Because I want to know why they keep popping up.
21. Don't think you'd know them. My Uncle Bilbo is my favorite.


Agree or disagree with the following statements.
23. Agreed.
26. I'm not inclined to give you full ones, unfortunately.

text;

[became]

Very, very bored.

video; bff encryptions - o m g this is so late feel free to smack me

[quotate]

I thought we were working on sharing more again, Neal. Remember, sharing is caring?

Besides, how did you get so many of your hats up here in the first place? Shipping to other universes can't come cheap.

video; bff encryptions - NO SMACKING EVER i am just happy you're okay! we were all worried /clings

[became]

They just like me better than you, Moz.

...Speaking of. Have you run across the list, yet? [ beat. ] Don't freak out.

[statsraaden]

[This survey is so out there Stats'll answer it, just for fun. He might be a little bit less than serious.]

1. What is your name? Stats
2. What is your quest? Going back home.
3. What is round as a dishpan, deep as a tub, and still the oceans couldn't fill it up? I'm sure it's a riddle. Let me think about that one.
4. Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Kardashian party? What is this?
5. In exactly 27 words, explain why surveys are a noneffective method of answer gathering. Er, nope.
6. Cary Grant + Humphrey Bogart = who are these?
7. New York, New York, it's a hell of a town. I've never been there.
8. He who has it doesn't tell it. He who takes it doesn't know it. He who knows it doesn't want it. What is it? Oh, another riddle. And at least there's some challenge.
9. In essay form, please explain why the waistcoat is an important part of any suit. I don't care; I'm a tall ship.
10. Neruda, Dali, and Kierkegaard enter a bar. Finish the punchline. I'm sure I can place a pun somewhere. Besides, I don't know these people.
11. Why are the Kardashians famous? If you can explain this in a way that makes any sense, without the words 'Paris Hilton', you get a prize. Who are these?
12. Let's talk about the Oxford comma. Or not.
13. Go ahead and make up your own question here. What the hell is this survey?

14. Name the most important of the Three Stooges. Who are these? And thanks for this idea of a name for us, this sounds much better than 'The Infernal Trio'. [Stats is referring to himself and his sons.]
15. Name the least appealing item on the McDonald's menu. (This is a trick question.) I don't even know what it's like. You may have noticed we don't come from the same world?
16. Why are you bothering with this survey? You tell me.
17. Name the most influential painter of the 18th century. When was that, even.
18. LA Confidential was robbed during the '97 Oscars, this isn't an opinion. I don't care at this point.
19. If you were going to vote for President of the World, who would you elect? Me. I'm not even kidding.
20. Kraft "cheese": science's worst mistake. This one isn't a question either. I would like to taste it before making an opinion.
21. Name your top ten poets. I don't even know that many.
22. Monet and Manet are two different painters. Discuss. Yes, and?

Agree or disagree with the following statements.
23. Surveys are a waste of time. Oh, yes.
24. Big Brother is watching you. Er, I would think this young man would have known by now that staring at people creeps them out.
25. Anyone with a Mario mustache deserves the teasing they get. Why would I care.
26. Questions with absolute answers are boring. Oh really? [This one is ironical]
27. I deserve a drycleaners. Whatever.

permatext;

[logicals]

I started answering this, but then I got bored.
SH

SAME until neal goes vain again, this is a pattern

[became]

Boredom is the sign of an inactive mind.

text;

[longevities]

You're asking for candid answers to a humorous survey?

video

[became]

It sounds so unreasonable when you say it like that. [ CUE SHAMELESS GRIN. ]