[VIDEO] Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence.

[imadoctor]

Dr. McCoy here, and this is a general announcement about something I think everybody on this ship could stand to hear about. So if you don't mind, I won't take more'n a minute of your time.

I know you're all gonna say you're adults and don't need any lectures 'bout the birds and the bees. But I also know that most of you are inherently reckless and tend to think you can beat anything that tries to pull you down through sheer stubbornness. I got no illusions that recent events will have hammered any common sense into places it never resided in the first place. And it's a fool's errand to think for one minute any of you are gonna abstain from sex just because there are risks. So let's address how you can avoid those risks, and we here in Medical can avoid wasting our time doling out STD treatments.

First things first: birth control, condoms, basic supplies for intercourse. Yes, we have 'em, and yes you can get 'em from us. All you gotta do is ask. See? Easy.

Second: sexually transmitted diseases. I can guarantee not a single person on this ship can name every STD lyin' in wait out there. We're from different places, different times, different species. A minor rash for one person could be deadly for another, so takin' a few minutes to get informed and take the right precautions just might be the difference between a decent sexual experience and a ship-wide outbreak of Andorian shingles. So I'm uploading some pamphlets, and I expect you to all take the time to read 'em.

Third: testing for sexually transmitted diseases. If you've been havin' sex since you came aboard and you haven't been tested, get down here and get tested.

[ This portion of the transmission ends with an uplink to a number of STD pamphlets, courtesy of Starfleet Medical. Imagine something like this CDC site, but with a lot of alien diseases added.

The second portion of the transmission is flagged to the Medical Staff AND those characters who volunteered in Medbay during the stasis sickness outbreak. ]

Okay, with that out of the way -- at the moment we have exactly zero patients checked into Medbay. Which in my mind makes this as good a time as any for a good old-fashioned We Ain't Dead Yet celebration. If you're on staff or you volunteered during this last crisis, you're invited. Feel free to bring a guest if you want, but keep in mind it's BYOB and I'll sedate anybody who gets out of hand.


[OOC: Yes, it has been confirmed that Medbay has birth control, condoms, lube, feminine hygiene products, etc. As far as the Medbay party, if your character is officially on the Medical Staff or you ICly OR OOCly arranged for them to be volunteering during the recent modplot, consider yourself invited. Plus-ones are also welcome. There will be a log shortly, which I will link here. Log posted here.]

Comments

voice; MAYBE JAYE AND FAITH WERE SEPARATED AT BIRTH

[stacked]

You're Sulu?

[ CONSIDERING TONE, GET. ]

not here; IT'S ENTIRELY POSSIBLE

[tumbleweeds]

[ yeah gurl get sooome ]

screams

[leaps]

Yes?

[ oh dear god.... ]

[stacked]

Jaye said if I wanted a decent lay, I should look you up.

[ well that is. one way to go about this. ]

[imadoctor]

[ The word to describe Bones' mental state right now is 'AKLDFJ;ASDFKJAF D:']

This ain't a pick-up bar, you two.

[stacked]

Hey-- you can come too, Doc.

[ :D :D :D ]

[imadoctor]

Miss, we don't even know each other.

[stacked]

So?

[imadoctor]

...You missed the whole point of this transmission, didn't you?

[stacked]

Wrap it before you tap it?

[imadoctor]

That's...one of the points, yeah.

[stacked]

See? I pick up the important shit.

[leaps]

[ LKAFJDLKGA FUCK. ]

Sorry, sir.

[leaps]

[ LAJFKLDGADFS

well on the one hand, huzzah jaye thought it was good! on the other hand, oh god there is a strange lady propositioning him in front of his cmo. ]

She did?

[ no sulu that is no the appropriate response. ]

[stacked]

[ lay back and enjoy the ride, sulu. ]

Said you were the one I should look up.

[ you're right, not enough pants taking off. ]

[leaps]

[ he can't decide if he's mortified or proud. mostly both. ]

Well that's...flattering.

[stacked]

[ jaye + faith = losing what little tact they have at all. apparently. ]

So, you game?

[leaps]

[ OH MY GOD BONES CAN SEE THIS WHY ]

You're...serious?

[stacked]

[ because GOOD LIFE CHOICES. and TACT. and jaye.

mainly jaye tbqh. ]

And the best ride you'll ever have.

[ so she's. confident. that's good.

please god, someone steal her comms device and make it lock ever. ]

[tumbleweeds]

Hey.

We'd tie, come on.

[stacked]

Fair enough.

Tied for best, Sulu.

[ oh ftlog just have a threesome why don't you. ]

[leaps]

Wait, shouldn't I be the one judging?

Hypothetically, that is...

[ this is the worst thing in the world why is this his life ]

[stacked]

Like I said, ride of your life. You busy?

[ DELICATE AS A GD BULLDOZER. ]

[leaps]

Right now?

[ LKGJALSDKJGA ]