[voice] eridan's guide to people watching

[uncodlyawwesome]

[Eridan's almost like clockwork, in that he posts pretty consistently right after every jump. In this case, though, he's not bothering with text - probably because he is going to be rambling way too much and he doesn't want people railing on him for typin like a complete fuckin tool.

This time, he's going with voice. Because this amount of catty rambling can't be texted. There is, though, an underlying tone - like he's rambling because he needs to keep his mouth moving or else he's going to be extra grade stupid. It probably has nothing to do with anything that might've happened this past month, no siree.]

Runnin' commentary on all'a you still stuck dowwn here, doin' wwhatevver the fuck you're doin', because I'm fuckin' bored an' I don't see any fuckin' horns that aren't mine or Nep's, makin' this jump, just like evvery other one, a complete fuckin' wwaste'a time.

Okay so basically, first wwe've got evveryone wwho's used to this. Most'a you just kind'a stumble out, look around an' get your naked fuckin' asses to the lockers. Seriously, okay, from noww on someone has to start putting towwels out right the fuck awway, because I'm sick'a lookin' at all'a you bein' fuckin' naked. [BLECH gross humans.] An' I'm seriously gonna havve to just come up to you people next jump an' use my security position to force you to get hair cuts because ugh. That's gotta suck cleanin' outta your hair. Especially you, curly-haired asshole wwho nevver stops makin' fun'a me. [TAKE THAT, SHERLOCK.]

Man, a wwhole fuckin' lot'a these newwbies are flippin' their coddamn thinkpans like this is the most bizarre shit to evver happen to 'em. That one guy is like tryin' to break the gravv couch open - oh, there he goes, haha, fuck, did he just fall? ...Ouch, actually that looked like it kind'a hurt, he's bleedin' an' shit, medical should get a look at him. Jeeze, though, get a fuckin' haircut, wwhat the fuck evven. Some girl is like, flippin' out on the ground, wwhat is your deal, lady, this isn't that fuckin' scary, are you like... humming to yourself? ...Creepy. An' wwhy is that guy freakin' out? Cripes, sayin' no a million times isn't gonna make this not happen, jeeze.

Oh yeah, an' there's that jerk wwho wwas makin' fun'a my accent, wwell fuck you, I tried bein' nice for once an' I got nothin' for it. An' there's that neurotic crazy redhead wwho wwas all, "Oh noooo, wwe're all gonna kill each other 'cos wwe've got secrets, oh nooo!" Evveryone has secrets, stop bein' stupid about it. Like you evven told us your shit.

Still no other horns. Nobody looks fuckin' evvil, either, so I guess they wwere tellin' the truth about the demon thing.

[Long pause.] So basically, wwelcome to the Tranquility if you're neww, stop fuckin' freakin' out because you just look like an asshole, an' in case you didn't knoww, some'a us aren't human so use due fuckin' respect, okay?

Um.

If anyone sees anybody wwith horns, lemme knoww, okay? I still don't' see anyone but not all the couches are open and... [He sounds suddenly really nervous.} It's just kind'a important, I guess.

Comments

Anon Text.

[spider]

S

text

[uncodlyawwesome]

oh fuck off

[spider]

You're a bit of a moody one, Gossip Fish. Swimming alone?

S

TEXT

[consulting]

wwhy wwould anyone make fun of your wwavy accent, Eridan?

SH

[ CURLY HAIRED ASSHOLE REPORTING IN TO MAKE FUN OF YOU o7 ]

TEXT

[uncodlyawwesome]

oh my cod wwould you just get out seriously youre not cool or funny because you make fun a me you knoww that right

also not gonna retract my statement you need a fuckin haircut god lookin at you is like imaginin wwhat a birds nest wwould look like on this fuckin ship

video;

[kingofbabylon]

Did I hurt your feelings? [ Said with his nose scrunched up like he totally cares. He's hear for you, man. ]

video;

[uncodlyawwesome]

[FINGERPOINT]

No. The only wway you could hurt my feelin's is if I actually gavve a carp about wwhat you havve to say.

[yeah right, also enjoy that fish pun justin, in case talking to him earlier wasn't enough indication that he's a seatroll]

voice, a few hours later because tech is hard.

[therangerking]

'Gravv couch'. Is that its name?

voice, that's ok aragorn not everyone can be as amazing at this as eridan

[uncodlyawwesome]

[ugh oh man. here he goes, trying really hard to pronounce his "v" properly and not like a "w" for once.] No, it's grav couch. Gravvity couch. An' yeah, it is.

video;

[yardbird]

[...

[Wow, and here one thought Murphy had issues with being judgemental.]

Hey. Fuck you, too.

video;

[uncodlyawwesome]

[You asked for it, Murphy, now have the face of a mildly annoyed sea troll with fins and gray skin and horns and dumb glasses. Also a little bit of a black eye thing going on there.]

Maybe if you hadn't wwrithed around on the ground like a fuckin' crazy person, I wwouldn't'a picked you outta the crowwd. Evver think'a that?

video; you rang?

[circumitus]

[wat

[What the hell was she listening to?

[Just. No words. Only staring.]

video; oh hell yes i rang

[uncodlyawwesome]

[yes he mimics the post style people use on him
so he's just gonna stare back]

Oh, you're not fuckin' like... catatonic or somethin'. [You, he actually feels kind of weirded out by and a little sorry for you so,] You're not gonna just sit in corners rockin' back an' forth, right? 'Cos that's fuckin' creepy.

[jilt]

What a charming summation of the jump.

[uncodlyawwesome]

That's wwhat I thought.

voice.

[swagneto]

Haven't seen any.

[ He's been people watching on his own, and while Erik has his own crew settled down, the least he can do is look out for whomever falls under his spectrum of 'associates'. ]

voice.

[uncodlyawwesome]

Oh.

[...Well at least you haven't disappeared too, Erik! Yay!!]

Wwell, wwhatevver, I'm not exactly wwishin' for miracles here. You, uh, found most'a the people you knoww here still existin', right? None'a them disappeared?

[audio]

[testgasm]

Neurotic crazy redhead?

[And he says it with an air of incredulity that implies he CANNOT POSSIBLY be neurotic, crazy, or a redhead.

He is all of those things.]

[audio]

[uncodlyawwesome]

That's wwhat I said. [Can you hear the scowl in his voice?] Maybe I should'a called you a hypocrite, or somethin', givven that massivve fuckin' blowwup that happened.

audio

[alwaysagit]

Here's a little tip for you—if you have nothing intelligent to say, then say nothing. Then you won't sound like such an imbecile.

audio

[uncodlyawwesome]

Gee, thanks, 'cause I wwas totally wwantin' someone to givve me advvice about anythin'. Here's a tip for you, if you don't wwanna listen, then fuckin' don't.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Well, that will certainly convince people.

[uncodlyawwesome]

If I wwas tryin' to convvince people'a anythin', I wwould'a made a text post. This is just me pointin' out wwhat wwe all are seein' evvery jump. As if nobody else people-wwatches around here.

[voice]

[doggedly]

I do!

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

Do wwhat?