Eridan Ampora (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
uncodlyawwesome) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
ataraxion2012-05-08 12:34 am
uncodlyawwesome) wrote in ataraxion2012-05-08 12:34 am
[voice] eridan's guide to people watching
[Eridan's almost like clockwork, in that he posts pretty consistently right after every jump. In this case, though, he's not bothering with text - probably because he is going to be rambling way too much and he doesn't want people railing on him for typin like a complete fuckin tool.
This time, he's going with voice. Because this amount of catty rambling can't be texted. There is, though, an underlying tone - like he's rambling because he needs to keep his mouth moving or else he's going to be extra grade stupid. It probably has nothing to do with anything that might've happened this past month, no siree.]
Runnin' commentary on all'a you still stuck dowwn here, doin' wwhatevver the fuck you're doin', because I'm fuckin' bored an' I don't see any fuckin' horns that aren't mine or Nep's, makin' this jump, just like evvery other one, a complete fuckin' wwaste'a time.
Okay so basically, first wwe've got evveryone wwho's used to this. Most'a you just kind'a stumble out, look around an' get your naked fuckin' asses to the lockers. Seriously, okay, from noww on someone has to start putting towwels out right the fuck awway, because I'm sick'a lookin' at all'a you bein' fuckin' naked. [BLECH gross humans.] An' I'm seriously gonna havve to just come up to you people next jump an' use my security position to force you to get hair cuts because ugh. That's gotta suck cleanin' outta your hair. Especially you, curly-haired asshole wwho nevver stops makin' fun'a me. [TAKE THAT, SHERLOCK.]
Man, a wwhole fuckin' lot'a these newwbies are flippin' their coddamn thinkpans like this is the most bizarre shit to evver happen to 'em. That one guy is like tryin' to break the gravv couch open - oh, there he goes, haha, fuck, did he just fall? ...Ouch, actually that looked like it kind'a hurt, he's bleedin' an' shit, medical should get a look at him. Jeeze, though, get a fuckin' haircut, wwhat the fuck evven. Some girl is like, flippin' out on the ground, wwhat is your deal, lady, this isn't that fuckin' scary, are you like... humming to yourself? ...Creepy. An' wwhy is that guy freakin' out? Cripes, sayin' no a million times isn't gonna make this not happen, jeeze.
Oh yeah, an' there's that jerk wwho wwas makin' fun'a my accent, wwell fuck you, I tried bein' nice for once an' I got nothin' for it. An' there's that neurotic crazy redhead wwho wwas all, "Oh noooo, wwe're all gonna kill each other 'cos wwe've got secrets, oh nooo!" Evveryone has secrets, stop bein' stupid about it. Like you evven told us your shit.
Still no other horns. Nobody looks fuckin' evvil, either, so I guess they wwere tellin' the truth about the demon thing.
[Long pause.] So basically, wwelcome to the Tranquility if you're neww, stop fuckin' freakin' out because you just look like an asshole, an' in case you didn't knoww, some'a us aren't human so use due fuckin' respect, okay?
Um.
If anyone sees anybody wwith horns, lemme knoww, okay? I still don't' see anyone but not all the couches are open and... [He sounds suddenly really nervous.} It's just kind'a important, I guess.
This time, he's going with voice. Because this amount of catty rambling can't be texted. There is, though, an underlying tone - like he's rambling because he needs to keep his mouth moving or else he's going to be extra grade stupid. It probably has nothing to do with anything that might've happened this past month, no siree.]
Runnin' commentary on all'a you still stuck dowwn here, doin' wwhatevver the fuck you're doin', because I'm fuckin' bored an' I don't see any fuckin' horns that aren't mine or Nep's, makin' this jump, just like evvery other one, a complete fuckin' wwaste'a time.
Okay so basically, first wwe've got evveryone wwho's used to this. Most'a you just kind'a stumble out, look around an' get your naked fuckin' asses to the lockers. Seriously, okay, from noww on someone has to start putting towwels out right the fuck awway, because I'm sick'a lookin' at all'a you bein' fuckin' naked. [BLECH gross humans.] An' I'm seriously gonna havve to just come up to you people next jump an' use my security position to force you to get hair cuts because ugh. That's gotta suck cleanin' outta your hair. Especially you, curly-haired asshole wwho nevver stops makin' fun'a me. [TAKE THAT, SHERLOCK.]
Man, a wwhole fuckin' lot'a these newwbies are flippin' their coddamn thinkpans like this is the most bizarre shit to evver happen to 'em. That one guy is like tryin' to break the gravv couch open - oh, there he goes, haha, fuck, did he just fall? ...Ouch, actually that looked like it kind'a hurt, he's bleedin' an' shit, medical should get a look at him. Jeeze, though, get a fuckin' haircut, wwhat the fuck evven. Some girl is like, flippin' out on the ground, wwhat is your deal, lady, this isn't that fuckin' scary, are you like... humming to yourself? ...Creepy. An' wwhy is that guy freakin' out? Cripes, sayin' no a million times isn't gonna make this not happen, jeeze.
Oh yeah, an' there's that jerk wwho wwas makin' fun'a my accent, wwell fuck you, I tried bein' nice for once an' I got nothin' for it. An' there's that neurotic crazy redhead wwho wwas all, "Oh noooo, wwe're all gonna kill each other 'cos wwe've got secrets, oh nooo!" Evveryone has secrets, stop bein' stupid about it. Like you evven told us your shit.
Still no other horns. Nobody looks fuckin' evvil, either, so I guess they wwere tellin' the truth about the demon thing.
[Long pause.] So basically, wwelcome to the Tranquility if you're neww, stop fuckin' freakin' out because you just look like an asshole, an' in case you didn't knoww, some'a us aren't human so use due fuckin' respect, okay?
Um.
If anyone sees anybody wwith horns, lemme knoww, okay? I still don't' see anyone but not all the couches are open and... [He sounds suddenly really nervous.} It's just kind'a important, I guess.
no subject
disagree obvviously shes human right
im not exactly invvested in howw humans reproduce but i knoww just from talkin to most a you that its not the wway wwe do things
so no shes not a grub
no subject
How different?
SH
[ SHERLOCK DO NOT ASK 13 YEAR OLD TROLLS TO EXPLAIN SEX TO YOU. ]
no subject
givven that you guys dont havve quadrants wwhich means you only havve one relationsip to provvide the genetic material needed to produce offspring
plus pails arent a thing for you guys
wwhich is wweird
also kind a uncomfortable but wwhatevver
but to keep you from pesterin me about it pairs a kismesises an matesprits each donate their genetic material to some drones wwho mix it all up an givve it to the mother grub an then there are trolls
basically
its more complicated obvviously but to be honest i dont care enough to go into the details
[ 1 / 2 ] Congratulations Eridan you've scarred Sherlock
[ He's probably not understanding this right but if he manages to work this out -]
[ That can only mean. ]
[ Oh god. ]
[ How do you EVEN. ]
Sorry.
Your kind need FOUR people to reproduce?
SH
[ ...... just so CONFUSED. ]
[ 2 / 2 ]
And then whatever's left over from that act -
the 'Mother Grub' comes in and does what with it?
Where does the Mother Grub come from?
How does the pail play a part?
SH
[ 3/3 ] I lied.
SH
L M A O
yes each troll has a matesprit an a kismesis an each a those pairs contribute genetic material to the general genetic slurry
the mother grub comes from the matriorb an growws in the cavverns beloww the surface wwhere grubs go through trials to see if they can actually make it out in the real wworld
she takes the genetic contributions a the trolls an gestates it basically until she gets eggs an then she lays them an wwe hatch
the imperial drones use pails to carry the material to the mother grub
like wwhat do you think wwe just mate right in front a her wwhat do you think wwe are animals or somethin
no subject
This is the most unsanitary mating process I have ever heard about.
You have drones collect pails of residue, the plural tense of that word alone implies that there is enough residue to denote the use of a pail.
Why would you give up "genetic material" to a stranger?
How do you know what this alleged Imperial Drone does with your "genetic material"?
What does the mother grub do with it? Does she consume it?
SH
no subject
there are twwo pails invvolvved one for you an your kismesis an one for you an your matesprit thats all
an its not like you go around just fillin buckets wwith evveryone its a committed fuckin relationship betwween you an your concupiscent partners
the drones arent strangers theyre drones an as to wwhy wwe givve that shit up its because if wwe dont they cull you
basically because youre completely fuckin useless at contributin a fuckin thing to society so wwhy should you livve
the mother grub combines it all in this kind a slurry type situation an lays eggs that possess the strongest an most dominant traits a the alternian race
ill be honest i dont knoww the ins an outs about howw she makes this shit happen
an as to your belligerent fuckin claims as to wwhat they might be doin wwith those pails wwhat the fuck else wwould they use it for seriously
thats disgustin
no subject
the pail is consumed by the Mother Grub. Doesn't that bother you? that your
'Genetic Material' is being eaten?
Also if you 'hate' them - why would you want to mate with them?
That makes absolutely no sense at all.
In Earth culture, pails are just pails. Shockingly.
SH
no subject
if you really had a kismesis you wwould understand
but hate is a vviable emotional attachment wwith us trolls its somethin that you cant really describe
yeah i knoww that noww but that doesnt stop them from bein a lil fuckin profane in my owwn personal vview a the wworld
its not like i go around screamin about buckets lyin around
wwhat kind a person does that
no subject
:33 < omigosh this is an embarrassing confursation ( ^.////.^ )
:33 < um mr. sherlock purrhaps you should
:33 < focus more on the romance
:33 < and not the
:33 < repurrductive part
:33 < ummmmm
:33 < were only six
:33 < maybe its just me but this s33ms like the sort of thing thats private and you only talk to your lusus about until youre older
:33 < buckets and all that
:33 < fwwaaahhhhhhhhkfjalrewftght ( ^>//////<^ )
:33 < TOPIC CHANGE
:33 < HOW ABOUT A TEA PARTY
:33 < TEA PARTIES ARE APPURROPRIATE FUR ALL AGES!!!!!!