JACK NOIR ==> [TEXT] one

[barkstabbark]

okay
so
im assuming the dates on these shitty computers are reliable
even if they fucked up all the clocks
im pretty sure sunday was three hours early but whatever
it says its sunday so
reset is over
and i still dont see any observations up
or any announcements or roll calls or anything
not one fucking thing

if this makes sense to anyone just
fuck
i dont care who you are just fucking talk to me here
i cant be the only one here
thats not fucking possible
there has to be someone else
anyone
come on

Comments

[soulbonder]

whats an intern

[barkstabbark]

a huge fucking jerk
any other stupid questions

[soulbonder]

yes
why are you so angry

[barkstabbark]

because everything is fucking pissing em off right now and i dont want to be here
none of you are being helpful and its fucking annoying
i said talk to me if you knew what i was fucking talking about
look at all these replies
now look at how many of them understand any of this shit
note the difference

[soulbonder]

no one wants to be here

[barkstabbark]

no shit
way to point out the fucking obvious

[soulbonder]

why does the obvious infuriate you [A ROUSING ROUND OF 20 QUESTIONS]

[barkstabbark]

because youre a fucking moron and why are you still here [YOU ARE DRIVING HIM INSANE NOSY BLUE-PERSON]

[soulbonder]

[WELCOME TO LIFE LIVING WITH ASTRAL] Because I am curious about you, this facility and these interns.

[barkstabbark]

[beginning to consider suicide as a viable option] and apparently youre a fucking moron
if youre gonna ask questions ask some that arent completely fucking retarded
then maybe ill answer

[soulbonder]

do you miss it

[barkstabbark]

do i miss being trapped in a fucking bullshit space station with the dumbest ugliest color scheme in paradox space
experimented on against my will
manipulated tortured beaten
killed a couple times
forced to just sit there and fucking deal with it because there wasnt a dman thing anyone could do

what do you fucking think asshole

[yes. yes he does.]

[soulbonder]

[place sounds cozy] you were in space before your arrival here [of all the things to focus on...]

[barkstabbark]

wow do you think
seeing as thats exactly what i just said two seconds ago
keep up with me here kid i cant be repeating this shit all day

[soulbonder]

[okay, typing is hard. SWITCHING TO VIDEO. Hey sup.] Could you tell me more about space?

[barkstabbark]

[SURE WHY NOT have a spacedog] Well fuck, aren't you a looker.

What do I look like, a goddamn encyclopedia?

[soulbonder]

... [Stares. This is where he should probably say something following up Jack. But, uh. Haha, his attention span is like shit so]

Do you walk on two-legs opposed to four? [Cats are supposed to walk on four-legs right? And yes, he thinks dogs=cats.]

[barkstabbark]

[... THE MOST IRRITATED LOOK.

EVER.]

Alright, first off fuck you. Second-- can you even fucking count?! [waving his stumpy left arm at you WOW WAY TO BE A DICK ABOUT HIS HANDICAP]

[soulbonder]

You only have three legs! [...he's AMAZED]

[barkstabbark]

TWO LEGS. TWO.

This is an arm you fucking moron, I am not a dog!

[soulbonder]

You are a cat, correct? [I AM SO SORRY]

[barkstabbark]

I'M NOT A FUCKING CAT EITHER! [NO YOU'RE NOT

sob he is actually sparking with deadly rage look at all that green light shooting everywhere, he's gonna blow himself up at this rate]

[soulbonder]

You have a nose and ears similar to a cat, yet you are not a cat?

What are you? [people getting angry at him wow this is so new]

1/2

[barkstabbark]

Fucking hell-- I'm not a cat, you dumbass! I'm a goddamn Dersite! These are prototypings, it's not what I actually fucking look like!!

Look you fucking moron-- [pulling that shiny ring off with his teeth]

2/2

[barkstabbark]

[and BAM in a flash he is suddenly down several animal parts. He also looks a little woozy at first and has to grab the nearest wall to keep from falling over. That missing arm is still missing, however (and that missing shoulderplate of his exoskeleton on the armed side, that still hasn't stopped being a thing I forgot to mention).

He also drops the communicator for a moment because no tentacles to secretly hold things with. GDIT swearing and snatching that back up with annoyance.]

See? Not a goddamn cat.