[text] eridan's guide to being melancholy

[uncodlyawwesome]

howw many trolls are evven left on this ship anymore
i mean seriously an i thought wwe wwere small numbers before the jump noww its just like me an wwhat twwo or three others

tavvs gone i thought that wwould be kind a fuckin awwesome since he wwas a fuckin burden alwways hangin around bein stupid an having shitty slam poetry sessions wwith gam like that wwas somethin they wwere good at
hint there is no fuckin wway either a them wwere evver good at that in the history of for fuckin evver
but still its kind a unsettlin i mean okay so say they did just go back to wwherevver in time an space they came from
thats not fuckin reassurin our time an space sucked almost as much as this fuckin creepy ship
an wwhat does that say about the rest a us
i mean wwe could disappear at any fuckin time an go back to wwhatevver livves wwe left
or in some cases wwe just die an end up in dream bubbles not that i expect any a you to knoww wwhat thats about
wwould wwe evven remember wwhat happened or wwould wwe completely just forget

an wwhat if wwe dont go back wwhere wwe came from wwhen wwe disappear
wwhat the fuck happens
shit wwhat if this is wwhat that wweird fuckin text in that room wwas talkin about
ugh
i guess im just kind a wworried about all a this i mean howw are wwe supposed to protect ourselvves an howw can anyone handle hangin around here knowwin that shit could happen at any time
poof
i could be gone after i hit send here
if i dont respond thats wwhat happened
ivve just plain disappeared off a the face a the fuckin univverse

noww i dont wwant to hit send wwhat if i fucked myself ovver just then by sayin that
cod
this is stupid
fuck this

Comments

text

[revengejournalist]

Here's hoping with every fiber of my being that you don't respond, then~

text

[uncodlyawwesome]

fuck you
here i am havvin a serious fuckin philosophical an existential debate wwith myself wwhich is actually not evven my thing so i did pretty wwell for nevver doin it
an you come blusterin in actin like a jerk for no fuckin reason
not evven addin anythin useful to the fuckin convversation just throwwin your fuckin ~~~~s around
nobody evven wwants to talk to you least of all me so go bloww it out a your blowwhole

[hypocrisy? WHAT HYPOCRISY COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE TALKING ABOUT?!]

text

[revengejournalist]

Your insolence aside -- and mark my words, you will get your comeuppance -- whoever went and vanished probably did so because they were weak. If you don't wish to disappear, then make certain that you don't for yourself.

text

[revengejournalist]

Not that it would be any skin of my back if you did, you rude little misfit. From the looks of things, no one's too keen on humoring you, either~

[That last tilde was specifically for your benefit, fish mongrel.]

text

[uncodlyawwesome]

there wwas nothin wweak about any a them you dont evven knoww them
other than tavv hes kind of a complete baby but the rest a them wwerent wweak at all

an oh no my comeuppance im so fuckin scared

[video] because he can

[51stcentury]

[Sigh, Eridan. Don't you know how to relax at all?]

Your roommate's gone now too? Since when?

[video]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[Eridan is totally not looking down-and-out okay.]

Since the jump, I guess. I dunno, he just wwasn't there, an' since he hasn't come back to the room...

[video]

[51stcentury]

[Absolutely not. Jack's certainly not concerned about him being down-and-out right now either]

I'm sorry. I know the pair of you probably weren't all that close, but he was your roommate. That's got to be a bit of an adjustment again.

[video]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[Eridan shrugs and - oh, yep, he's definitely in his pile of sheets and blankets on his bed, sort of shifting around to get more comfortable. That's why all you can see is sheet!]

It's not that big'a deal, I'm not... wworried about it, or anythin'. I like havvin' my owwn room. Besides, I got all'a his beddin', so. [He doesn't sound any better about all this, though. It's still sad, and still a little upsetting.]

text

[swagneto]

If this is a text, I'd hate to hear you talk at me.

[ Read: You talk too much, Eridan. ]

text

[uncodlyawwesome]

yeah yeah my keyboard is broken or i type wweird or wwhatevver im used to that its not like anybody just assumes im usin this shit on purpose because it has cultural fuckin significance
ugh

id go ahead an swwitch to vvoice if i thought itd make any difference but at least wwith text ivve got some fuckin control

text

[swagneto]

Control over what? They're the same words you'd say if you spoke, only presumably less annoying.

Re: text

[uncodlyawwesome]

control ovver wwhat im sayin
i can at least fuckin delete shit this wway

video

[sermonize]

I think you need to take a moment to breathe, Eridan.

video

[uncodlyawwesome]

[SCOWL.]

I'm breathin' just fine.

video

[sermonize]

Not without nearly having a panic attack.

video

[uncodlyawwesome]

Wwhether or not I havve a panic attack doesn't fuckin' matter, so long as I keep pushin' air through my fuckin' respiratory system.

[Now he's sulking. Partially because he's a 13-year-old dumbass, and partially because he had been having a mild panic attack when he'd finished writing his post, and he's irritated that it was that obvious.]

text.

[kleptoluckiac]

Ugh, shut up!!!!!!!!
We all know you'll pro8a8ly cling to existence like a little, pathetic 8ug.
Who cares.

[uncodlyawwesome]

holy carp vvris
you just come out a nowwhere wwhenevver you feel like it huh
wwhat havve you evven been doin on this ship other than wwaitin for me to post so you can harp on about howw lame i am wwhile makin your lingerin black feelins pathetically obvvious
i mean its flatterin an all but still

[kleptoluckiac]

Shut up, Eridan.
I have plenty of things to do that is none of your 8usiness!
Hahaha, unlike you I actually have plans here.
So why don't you try going to do something for a change instead of 8eing pathetic whiny whiner.
Why do you think I haven't said anything a8out this place?
Try to use your 8rain, dum8ass.
I'm trying to help you out here, 8ut if you're just going to try to jam me in all of your empty quadrants I'll leave you here to die as a whiner.

[syllogism]

Is that what you were getting all riled up about earlier?
Ooh ooh, we're on a haunted space ship,
And all my friends are nowhere to be found!
Whatever am I supposed to do without those wretched assholes keeping my bed warm and safe at night.
Call the wambulance, we've got an emergency.
This inane nitwit doesn't want to be alone.
You really are freaking out about this shit, aren't you?

[uncodlyawwesome]

not really freakin out just concerned is all i mean i dont wwant to stop existin if thats wwhat happens or go back home for that matter
an its not evven actually haunted i wwas mostly sayin that to freak you out big load a good that did me
i cant evven tell if youre actually completely unphased by this or if youre doin that thing wwhere you talk big to hide the fact that youre flippin out internally

an yeah
i dont wwant to be alone
wwhats so fuckin wwrong about that wwhy does evveryone act like thats some huge fuckin taboo like jeeze eridan ampora isnt allowwed to be fucking lonely from time to time thats just fuckin impolite a him
get used to bein alone already eri its all youre gonna get in the end so wwhy do you keep tryin to change that fact just givve up
seriously is that wwhats goin on here because you dont evven knoww me an youre sayin the exact same thing evveryone else says about this
jeeze

[hits send, promptly realizes he should have deleted 90% of that self-deprecating rant, faceplants into desk.]

[syllogism]

It seems that this situation is causing you great distress.
Maybe you need to take a deep breath, or perhaps a nap is in order.
Man, your life of dealing with isolation, discourtesy, and redundancy is pretty rough,
And I understand your compulsion to express this to everyone else.
What you're saying is that you actually like it here and prefer it over being at home or possibly dead.
In fact, you'd greatly appreciate it if our tyrannical overlords would so kindly beam everyone else up to those aqua capsules so they could experience all the fun you've been having without them.

[audio]

[saint_kitten]

[ Oh dear. Somewhere, between all of that and trying to decipher it and trying to figure out how to colour her own text, Kitten frowns and finally clicks the audio button. Hah--see? She's getting the hang of this ]

Come now, darling, there's no need to be so serious. You'll find new friends.

[audio]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[At least his accent's going to be... slightly easier to understand than his typing?]

There's evvery need to be serious! Wwe might be fuckin' stranded on a ghostship for the rest'a our livves!

[pause]

An' besides, I like my friends. I guess. Wwell enough, anywway.