video

[jurisimpudent]

Good day. My name is Miles Edgeworth; I'm with the security team here.

[ And Miles Edgeworth, with the security team here, seems vaguely embarrassed and uncomfortable. He's far better at haranguing and scolding than he is at doing P.R. Or...talking normally to people, ever. ]

I'd like to take a moment of your time to address the role of security on the ship. The science teams conduct research; engineering keeps the ship running; agriculture keeps us fed; gunnery guards against external threats. All of them have a greater, overarching aim.

We on security are a bit different: we have no goal other than the immediate desire to serve and to protect. We are here to make all of you safer and more comfortable. We are here to make you feel more secure and confident. What we do - whatever we do - is purely to better keep you safe.

As such, I beg that any time you have a complaint, you bring it to us. Any time someone has done wrong to you or to others, let us know. We'll always work with you to develop a solution that's best for both parties. We have never executed anyone for their misdeeds and never will; brig time is very rarely used, more often to keep people safe in isolation than as punishment. We do not want to interfere with your lives; we only want to do what we need to do to keep harmony.

I also beg that if you ever have any requests of us, or any suggestions as to how we might better serve you, let us know.

[ Right. He's glad that's all over with. ]

Changing gears somewhat. It is vital to keep up our spirits in this place. I know that games are typically considered a means to maintain positivity; I had thought perhaps some...word game might be called for. Perhaps twenty questions.

Comments

video;

[cabins]

Thank you, Miles.

[Laura nods solemnly.]

I was just getting curious about due course of punishment in terms of how the ship handles them. I have, in times, found the airlock to be quite useful.

[She's happily sent people out of it. Multiple times.

And they weren't people so much as robots.]

But I am glad to see you've found no use for such measures.

video;

[jurisimpudent]

[ He's a little taken aback by how casually she says that. He knows she was a leader at home, and leaders have to make difficult decisions - but the calmness of that cold-blooded comment contrasts so strangely with her kindly face. So he has to take a moment to collect his thoughts. ]

I...see. Well. Even if execution were to become necessary, I quite doubt we would go that route. And security has many measures to subdue and punish in a nonlethal fashion; it's difficult to envision an eventuality in which we even need to use lethal force.

video;

[fullmoon]

Are you thinking of something or should we?

video;

[jurisimpudent]

[ He looks a little embarrassed. ]

My...intention was actually that you all might play it amongst yourselves, but I suppose I could start.

text.

[xerampelinae]

it looks as though you're trying to disabuse us of the notion that Security is effective
or is there some other misconception you're yearning to address

text.

[jurisimpudent]

If that's what you've taken away from this broadcast, sir/madam, you've a very curious definition of "efficacy."

not here.

[darkart]

[ lol ]

[debts]

Animal, vegetable or mineral?

[jurisimpudent]

Forgive me; it was not necessarily my intention to play. But I suppose, in the interest of setting an example: mineral.

video »

[mansuetus]

Brave, galland and handsome signore Edgeworth! You must listen to him, truly, he is one of the wisest men in any realm.

[ lucrezia borgia and her merry moods. ]

Explain the game to me.

video »

[jurisimpudent]

[ He immediately looks embarrassed, and protests, for the benefit of any who might be listening - ]

No, she is...being too kind, please. I'm not...any of those things.

[ Right. Moving along - ]

It's a game in which one thinks of some object or person and then the other tries to guess what it is using no more than twenty questions. All of which must be yes-or-no questions.

video

[forsometimenow]

Thanks for the reassurances, Mr. Edgeworth. As someone who's newer to the ship, I do appreciate knowing you all are around.

video

[jurisimpudent]

[ He relaxes a little bit; this is precisely the sort of response he wanted to get, and the reason he made this post. ]

Yes. I feel likewise. Before I joined, I was glad of security's protection, and now when I'm off-duty I'm still glad of it.

video;

[redheaded_rock]

[So, so amused.]

You're going to get sucked into about a million games of twenty questions.

video;

[jurisimpudent]

[ Oh, dear. ]

That was not my intention.

[embellishing]

[Well this is interesting information that Eames is going to make note of. But in the meantime.]

Word games can be effective, but you wouldn't have a deck of cards handy, would you?

[doggedly]

He's going to have a deck of cards for you only if you're planning to play some version of Patience. Something boring and free of money.

Just warning you in advance.

[jurisimpudent]

Please do not heed Mr. Black; he does not speak for me.

[ He is 100% correct, though. ]

In any case. We've a few spare decks in the security office.

video;

[doggedly]

[--Though, 'video' is a loose term for this communication, as Sirius has his device facedown on some surface, so the recording is of constant blackness.]

Surveys. Better than word games.

video;

[jurisimpudent]

[ Sirius, you are terrible at video. ]

Are you requesting a survey? I could write one for you.

video;

[peckish4action]

You know, protecting people's safety isn't a small goal at all. Anyone who says differently... has a lot to learn.

[ Anyone who says differently has never lost somebody near and dear, but let's not get morbid. ]

Is twenty questions your favorite game?

video;

[jurisimpudent]

No, I should not say so. I don't think I have a favorite game.

video.

[ex_varnish905]

Why, couldn't it be said that the imposure of law is its own overarching aim?

video.

[jurisimpudent]

[ Hello. ]

No, ma'am. The law is never instituted merely to institute law. The law is a tool to make a safer and more just society.

video;

[starshipranger]

[ Have an over-excited and inquisitive Bug, Mr. Edgeworth. ]

Oh, gee, thanks for explaining what all the different departments do. I had no idea there was so much involved in keeping a starship running. It's kind of like the Hi-- theeee place I come from, I mean.

[ Nice recovery, there, Bug. ]

Anyway, what's twenty questions?

video;

[jurisimpudent]

[ Hm. Is he being sarcastic, or is he really that...excitable? ]

It's...a guessing game, in which one person thinks of a person, place or thing, and the other attempts to narrow down and determine what it is.

Where do you come from, exactly?

video; hello are you tired of me yet

[axeyou]

So what do you do?

video; impossible

[jurisimpudent]

Ah. Good day, Ms. Mason.

text; anon

[trynotodie]

you don't float people?

text; anon

[jurisimpudent]

Does "float" mean "execute"?