( 001 ) video ✶ it's a small crime and i got no excuse

[unparental]

[ this post is not a great post to make. jenna debates saying anything at all, but the other options aren't options so much as death sentences. after steeling her nerves, a visibly ill at ease but trying to grin through it jenna has a few things to ask, o fellow passengers on this not-a-yacht. ]

Okay, everyone else is doing the 'where are we, why are we here' thing, and better than I could so... I'll take the other obvious ones. Has anyone found food? And more importantly, booze? Because I would trade the space jumpsuit off my back for a bottle of Cuervo right now.

[ pause. and this is the MOST CASUAL QUESTION WHAT. no ulterior motives here, shhh. ]

And on a different note, what's the medical situation like here? Because the first aid class I took says we should probably have bandages, Neosporin, Advil... blood bags... [ one of these things is not like the other. ] Just curious.

[ worst stealth vampire of the year award: in the bag. ]

Comments

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[starked]

i'm currently sitting on a pile of them, and yeah, we have some.

[ tony, stop. ]

you seem a bit young to be a doctor, but nurse i could see, though a very attractive one. one that has her priorities so straight if your first idea is about cuervo. if you ever find that bottle, share with the class so the ones of us who want to be drunk can enjoy that state, especially when we're productive in it.

[ spoiler: tony is not lying. ]

[ text ]

[unparental]

you are? they're just... laying around?

[ THAT IS P ENCOURAGING NGL. the idea of drinking straight from the vein is the best idea ever in the corner of her brain that is now labeled 'weird vampire shit', so it's clearly a horrible idea in actuality. ]

I got a lead on some scotch, but I don't know if I want to spoil my sources. Less mouths is more for me, no offense.

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[starked]

well, you have to find them first, but they are laying around. waiting to be used.

[ BUT JENNA IT'S A LIE. HE HAS NO CLUE WHERE SOME IS. and wow, jenna you're a weird vampire. just so you know. ]

none taken, because those of us who enjoy alcohol hardly want to ever disclose our sources. but i could pay you back.

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[unparental]

Any chance you could provide evidence? Pics or it didn't happen, as my nephew would say.

[ SHE'S ONTO YOU, TONY. and you know what? unless you're offering up a pint or seven, stfu. ]

In that case, Jenna Sommers. Potentially going to sweet talk my source into splitting it three ways.

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[starked]

i could, but i don't want to take a picture. people might see and wonder why i'm on them. go down to the medbay though. or up. depending on where you are.

[ NO. NO YOU ARE NOT JENNA. HE IS SUPER STEALTH MAN. and you know what, screw you jenna, he's never met a vampire before. ]

tony stark. also known as the one to call for all your tech related "oh shit i blew something up" needs. or something like that.

[ text ]

[unparental]

I'll keep that in mind.

[ ARE TOO. and that's because he's not as awesome as people who have, obvs.

...sorry, 'dead' as people who have. dead, not awesome. ]

Jenna Sommers. Good at finding bongs.

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[starked]

tony stark. shit at using bongs but good at drinking all the booze while others are enjoying the bongs.

[ ...that's not something to be proud of, tony. ]

[ text ]

[unparental]

I used to be good at both. I stick to booze now, though. Nothing says 'I'm not a fit parent, CPS' like sparking one up with two teenagers in the next room.

[ text ]

[starked]

which makes you wonder about the state of the world, because bong use if you do it right might make you an okay parent regardless. personal opinion though. seen way worse parents.

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[unparental]

I agree, but I don't actually make the laws.