ataraxion | voice, the second } crack kills

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voice, the second } crack kills

[ THIS IS FORWARD DATED spike would usually do this up on video but given the chaos and just how shitty he looks-- oh, yeah, if you haven't seen spike in a bit there's a reason for it. he looks like death. literally. skinny, sallow, low-energy. he's not even quipping like he should be. he's scarcely been here ninety days, but without blood, he's not healing like he should. these demons are giving him the go around and he doesn't like it. so have a raspy english voice, sounding much tireder than usual, which really everyone should expect given the theme around here. ]

I'll tell you all, I've seen an apocalypse or two in my day. And this? This is a bloody disaster.

Floor 22, Room 17. I've got some weapons and hiding spots, but that's not what I'm on about. I'll see you all in the trenches anyway. [ he takes a breath, he might be smoking. ]

...This blood situation, yeah? For us vamps. [ pauuuuuse ] It's wrong, and I'll tell you why it's wrong. This might be a bloody big ship, but it's going to start seeming a whole hell of a lot smaller if we keep handing over human to them--us. To us.

I don't drink human blood, it's a life choice. Let's use an analogy. Now, I talked to an expert on the subject so let's call 'blood' ... 'heroin.' And let's call bagged blood something they call 'methadone.' That's a drug used to bring someone down off scag, if you didn't know. But it doesn't work, and neither does this. Drinking it from a bag? Well. Just makes someone want the real thing.

Over on the Cyllene, guy name of Jayne told me to look for Dr. Tam up in the med bay? But I'm sorry, doc, and anyone else who might have a hand in that concoction -- I don't trust it. Don't ruddy well trust anyone with a beaker and I've got good reason.

There's got to be another way.

[ he hangs up rather abruptly, it takes a lot to get a rise out of him like this. it took the perfect cocktail of starvation, sleeplessness, nightmares and demons from his homeworld but now he's here and he's mad. and yeah, no that's basically it. ]

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[ he snorts ] Yeah. Got implanted with a chip and everything. Like a stray mutt.

Walking through walls, though. That's got to come in useful.

Yeah, you're not the first one to say that.

[ wait seriously what even. ] But you got implanted with a chip? Worst I got was a haircut and a neighbor.

You know the worst bloody part? These space aliens couldn't even pick a different number. Hostile 017. Like I ever wanted to hear that again.

The fact that they gave you a number in the first place is bad enough.

Right? Bunch of bloody animals. Now it's right back to being experimented on. Lucky us.

Locked up all over again. [ he just kind of wants his next door neighbor back. ]

Least it's without the drugs.

How would we know either way? [ oh yeah, peter did you want some conspiracy theories? because here they come. ]

[ ... snort. ] You sound like the guy i'm supposed to turn into.

But you're right, we don't have a clue.

...Not sure what to draw from that. [ help a brother out? ]

I'm just saying, alright. They could've been dosing us all along. Like -- what's up with that blue stuff anyway?

You've got as good of an idea as I do. [ :c sad face mumbling. ]

Not even sure if anyone's tried to find out what it's made of. Or- I mean, what happens when we get taken up here in the first place?

Right. Your other self. The bloke that was here before?

[ he remembers things sometimes. ]

Yeah, what I'm saying, isn't it. It's like no one bloody cares one way or another. [ so why should he? ]

The one that left all his things behind. Along with the newspaper clippings. [ the one that's actually supposed to still be him, something peter still struggled with. ]

I think people care, they're just doing everything they can to try not to.

You don't have to be him, you know. Not now that you know-- [ hell for all spike knew peter had already wrecked the continuity. maybe they all had. that was more pleasant a thought than it should have been. ]

Same thing.

Yeah, I know. Meet enough future versions of... life in general and you sort of figure out that destiny's not all it's cracked up to be. [ which is kind of sad; peter's still sort of hurt about that one. ]

I'm not sure denial's the same thing as uncaring. Except if you're a politician.

[ that jogged something in spike and he's looking at peter a second too long -- like something just spun through the lazy turbines in his head and finally made a thought out of it. ]

You're better off without it. Destiny. It's one hell of a ride.

[ but it's supposed to be, and it's not fair. not when he thought he was destined for something and then it sort of all fell apart, and trying to construct a new view on life had.... depended on adam. motherfucker. ]

Not according to some people. [ he's looking at you, mom. ] But when destiny's set on making sure a city ends up destroyed, or worse, i'm pretty sure the whole thing stops meaning what it used to.

[ that gives him pause. not because of whatever peter just said -- that was boring. but because their lives had so many parallels it was strange to even draw the diagram, but it was impossible not to try. ]

I blew up a town once. Kind of what I was talking about, actually.

[ ............ okay wait hold up. the amount of solid staring that peter falls into, is something he'll feel embarrassed about a moment too late, but he has to go over his thoughts. and make sure that spike just said what he thought he said. just in case he got it wrong.

and he's pretty sure he didn't.]

You- Did you blow it up, or did you, y'know, actually blow up.

Yeah, I did. As in me, not... yeah. Stopped the apocalypse though.

Guess I drew the short straw. When I blew up, it wasn't really supposed to stop anything.

[ kindred spirits, peter needs a hug. ]

[ give it a month X( ]

Sounds that way, mate. How'd you come back from that? [ since spike still wasn't exactly sure on his own details. ]

I can heal. [ at least that's an easy question. ] Guys in the lab coats would call it rapid cellular regeneration, but it mostly just means I can't actually die.

This ven diagram is getting closer and closer, seems like. [ and judging by the slight note of cheer in his voice, he doesn't mind. ]

[ stop it spike, you might actually make peter sound less miserable. ]

And that's only with all the things nobody else's got in common.

Right? How many other people can say they blew up. Not very bloody many, I'd reckon.

What else should I know about you, Pete? [ it's said lightly, even amicably. you are the only one not giving him a headache peter and he doesn't care if the filthy biker next to him knows it. ]

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private; i don't want to go to work i want spike and peter :c

private; SOBBING THEIR LIIIIVES ajkfa;d i want them forever

private; there's nowhere to go from here but down down down

private; so dirty

private; scandals

private; ON THE FRONT PAGE!

private; ajkdhkjdh serious

private; lmfaaao who are we even

private; terrible people