002: video;

[secretlabtech]

I don't really enjoy making these recordings so I'll try and be brief. While things are slow in medbay - and I know I'm probably jinxing it by saying that - I want to remind people that we're open for run of the mill check ups, consultations on existing ailments, examining any strange itches or lumps, help with nutrition or sleeping problems--anything you need. We've seen it all before.

For those of you who frequently put yourselves at risk, the medbay really works better when we have stock of your own blood available, which means coming in and getting it drawn. We have synthetic blood, and all sorts of injections and tablets that can improve the capacity of blood production, but nothing is better than getting your own blood back when you get injured. It's especially important in the case of gunshot wounds where you lose a lot of fluids much too quickly.

And uh, finally... [ Dexter scratches his nose. ] If you have any odd nutritional needs, it'd be better if we could discuss them now rather than have to pick up the bodies later. Medbay can help, just give us a call. I promise we'll be one hundred percent discreet, no matter what.

Oh-- [ Not quite done yet, okay. ] Does anyone know how to make bear claws? Jelly filled donuts? I owe someone an apology, and baked goods have always been the way to go.

Comments

[secretlabtech]

I'm not completely sure Tyke knows what a fingerprint is, but... Well, think how useful it would have been the last couple of months? All those prints I had to take in the medbay when that corpse walked out.

[ He shakes his head. ]

Maybe I should swing it by her for sure. [ Pause. ] And then next jump will be the one we come out in the middle of a red alert. Do we have red alerts?

[andblockbuster]

We have a lot of screaming and bleeding and dying and sometimes screaming and total psychosis. They do the trick in a pinch, I guess.

[A beat.] Also I think most people would find the idea of a 'red alert' triggering. The color red is, like, a-a hot button topic around here these days.

[secretlabtech]

Not as much dying as you'd think, to tell you the truth. More like quiet, uninspiring disappearances into the abyss.

The screaming, though. I'll accept that.

So do red things freak you out?

[andblockbuster]

That's like dying, but quieter. They could be dead in the walls and we'd never know.

[There's a long pause]

No, but emoticons definitely do now. Way to destroy a treasure of text culture, Smiley.

[secretlabtech]

Dead in the walls.

[ Excuse him he will just stare at his device for a second. ]

Real cheerful guy, aren't you?

Besides, I don't think anything of value was lost. My sister doesn't ever text me 'Get back to work asshole, smileyface' any more. I have to tell you, it's a godsend.

[andblockbuster]

I'm aggressively cheerful. Just occasionally morbid. I hear it's a bad combo.

[Yeah....]

Or it might be more incentive to use it. It's amazing how a single innocuous statement can look like a threat now, just because of a single colon and a closed parenthesis.

[secretlabtech]

Maybe it's just because red smileys and me go way back, but I don't find it that scary. If it was painted in blood on a wall it might be a different story.

[andblockbuster]

...You haven't seen the suspicious red paint incidents then, huh?

[secretlabtech]

Well I've seen those, but I was thinking more along the lines of--you know, you fall asleep, you wake up and there's a six foot painted smile on the wall opposite. That would be spooky.

[andblockbuster]

Yeah... That would be the day someone will have to talk me out of throwing myself out the airlock.