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I don't really enjoy making these recordings so I'll try and be brief. While things are slow in medbay - and I know I'm probably jinxing it by saying that - I want to remind people that we're open for run of the mill check ups, consultations on existing ailments, examining any strange itches or lumps, help with nutrition or sleeping problems--anything you need. We've seen it all before.

For those of you who frequently put yourselves at risk, the medbay really works better when we have stock of your own blood available, which means coming in and getting it drawn. We have synthetic blood, and all sorts of injections and tablets that can improve the capacity of blood production, but nothing is better than getting your own blood back when you get injured. It's especially important in the case of gunshot wounds where you lose a lot of fluids much too quickly.

And uh, finally... [ Dexter scratches his nose. ] If you have any odd nutritional needs, it'd be better if we could discuss them now rather than have to pick up the bodies later. Medbay can help, just give us a call. I promise we'll be one hundred percent discreet, no matter what.

Oh-- [ Not quite done yet, okay. ] Does anyone know how to make bear claws? Jelly filled donuts? I owe someone an apology, and baked goods have always been the way to go.

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[ stiles nods to himself, trying not to look too totally disappointed. ]

With — with rope, mostly.

[ He's so sorry. With vampires it's a real case of WHAT DO? ]

With rope? But I mean--it's not like your friend's just quitting meat or something, haven't they, you know, got to eat blood to survive?

That's true of some vampires, yeah, but for this one it's more like, uh, heroin? As far as I can tell. Not that I've ever used heroin. But I've seen half of Trainspotting. And bagged blood is harmless, sure, but it's totally changed him. He used to be a nice guy, now... not so much.

[ stiles isn't sure how to say i totally thought he'd murdered someone for at least a week without having to deal with why he hadn't actually. uh. said anything about it at the crime scene. ]

Like heroin, huh. Well in that case, rope is an even worse idea.

[ Dexter scratches his jaw thoughtfully. ]

Like any addictive substance, weaning him off it is going to have side effects. Physical and psychological. Are you prepared for that?

Yeah. There's a couple of people here who have gone through it with him before, so they know what to expect. I'm mostly just helping with the "in space!" difficulties. Like — the jumps, those are gonna suck.

The jumps. [ Dexter winces. ] Yeah, they really would. All those people waking up, you'd have to rush to keep him under control, otherwise you could end up with a bloodbath down there.

[ stiles nods. ]

Yeah, yeah, see, that was always the big hiccup whenever I tried to figure this out. I think maybe we could handcuff him before he gets in the tube, put him somewhere a little away from other people, make sure he's got an escort. It's still gonna be a risk, but at this point? Letting him walk free is a freaking risk.

Is he even on board with this? I mean--it's not something you decided for him?

It's not that easy. He - he told me once he'd rather die than risk people's lives drinking again, but now that he's doing it...

[ stiles looks tired, but steady. ]

Like I said. It's an intervention.

Couldn't we medicate it somehow? A mixture of blood and something else addictive; something we could bring him down from more easily? We do it with heroine, stepping down to something safer but just as addictive.

I'd be happy to give it a try if you have trouble. At the very least we could try and find a tranquiliser that works on him?

[ stiles scratches at the side of his jaw, forehead pinching. ]

I dunno if vampires can get addicted to anything else. But it's not a bad idea, I mean, in theory.

In theory. Even if it doesn't work in practice, at least it might be worth a try. I can help you with the program and the prescriptions, if you decide to go ahead with it. Least I can do.

Thanks! That's, wow, that's way-way more than I was expecting. Stiles, by the way. Uh, is me. I am Stiles. My vampire friend goes by Hal.

It's no problem. I'm uh--Dexter Morgan. The blood guy. You're the one who found that body, aren't you?

That's me! I think the stuff you do is really awesome.

[ clarification: ]

The blood stuff. I always kinda thought that once I finished high school I'd consider forensics.

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