video ✗ 003

[chaineddog]

[There’s some mumbled talking even though the video feed is showing nothing but black. A series of sighs is heard before a muttered curse word and the hand that was apparently covering the camera is taken away showing a rather disgruntled Heine and in the background, a very red-faced Nill who is making a point not to look at the camera. After a minute of looking at the camera with some uncertainty, Heine lets out another sigh.]

Hey. So. Uh....

[HOW DO YOU CASUALLY ASK THE REST OF THE SHIP IF THEY WANT A PORNO MAG. These are things that Heine has never done before and will most likely never do again. It isn’t as if Nill told him he couldn’t destroy it, okay. He’s doing a... good deed. Mostly just getting rid of it. Heine clears his throat after casting a glance back at Nill that could probably be taken as a silent pleas for help. She stares sternly. YOU MADE THIS BED, YOU LAY IN IT.

IT WASN’T HIS FAULT, IT WAS THE SHIP'S FAULT.

After a moment he relents and grits his teeth as he speaks.]

Look. This piece of shit ship decided to leave me a “present” in my locker the last jump and I don’t need it or want it so this is me asking if any of you want it before I just toss it overboard or light it on fire.

[He looks at Nill as if to ask if that’s better, since he can’t actually toss anything overboard, fire seems like a good back-up plan. She nods, her wings sticking straight out behind her, agitated. She makes a sort of shooing gesture, signalling for him to wrap it up so they can talk about how he shouldn’t shove things like that under her bed.

It’s not his fault - oh, for chrissakes.]

For anyone interested it’s a...a... [End him. Please. SOMEONE END HIM because he doesn’t want to say this or show it on the network. There were reasons it was under the bed for the past two months. His hand meets his face. This is the most embarrassed that anyone will ever see Heine over the network.] afuckingpornomag.

[This transmission couldn’t end any faster.]

[Nill will also be replying to any comments made!]

Comments

action

[culver]

[HEINE RAMMSTEINER, YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE]

perma-action!

[chaineddog]

[IT'S NOT HIS FAULT. IT. IS NOT. HIS. FAULT.

He tosses the comm device onto the bed and gives her a withering look that is mixed with his own brand of embarrassment.]

I didn't think you were gonna look under the bed.

video;

[lacksgrace]

You got a what?

video;

[chaineddog]

[Bells, you little shit.]

You hard on hearing or something?

video;

[logicunlocked]

Gee, you sure seem embarrassed.

video;

[chaineddog]

[Just this face. Just. This. Face.]

voice|

[firstofficer]

It would appear that some malfunction has occurred during your recording process. The conclusion of your transmission is somewhat difficult to comprehend.

What is it you acquired?

[culver]

A magazine.

voice|

[chaineddog]

Look, if you didn't hear it the first time around it's probably a sign you weren't meant to have it.

[This is mostly Heine just not wanting to say it again.]

video.

[ex_question191]

[ with zero shame. ]

I'll take it.

permatext.

[culver]

[PERSONAL HORROR]

You can have it.

video.

[chaineddog]

[Heine would laugh if it weren't so mortifying.]

Don't sound so eager now.

text;

[purrfectlycute]

[ He seems so flustered that she kinda feels bad for asking. ]

:33 < could you repeat that please?
:33 < if its something from your world id be interested!

permatext.

[culver]

[nepeta no]

It is probably not something you want.

text;

[chaineddog]

[Screeching. Internally.]

No I don't want to fucking repeat it.

[endeavors]

Why would they... give you that?

[culver]

We do not know.

[chaineddog]

Because whoever did it is a piece of shit and deserves to be burned along with it.

video;

[redhotsummers]

[Here, just have a video of Alex laughing his ass off.]

[culver]

[ALEX NO
just looks miserable]

video;

[chaineddog]

[You're on his 'To kill list' right alongside Bells, Alex.]

You done?

video;

[refusing]

[So much squinting and trying to figure this one out. She's close to laughter, but nope. More squinting instead.]

Is that really the kinda thing you should have around a little girl? Look at her, she doesn't need to be seeing anything like that! Couldn't you just throw it away or something?

video;

[chaineddog]

[Women. Women make this ten times worse. Even though his phobia is a little bit better over the communication device, knowledge that the blonde is a woman still makes his skin crawl. Instead of barking a reply right back though, he's rubbing his face in frustration.]

No. I know and it's not - it wasn't an option at the time.

[God, he's going to regret saying that.]

voice;

[inebriety]

What kind?

[He's not interested, it's just been a long time...]

voice;

[chaineddog]

[Not you. He doesn't like you.]

Aren't they all the same shit?