ataraxion | video ✗ 003

[There’s some mumbled talking even though the video feed is showing nothing but black. A series of sighs is heard before a muttered curse word and the hand that was apparently covering the camera is taken away showing a rather disgruntled Heine and in the background, a very red-faced Nill who is making a point not to look at the camera. After a minute of looking at the camera with some uncertainty, Heine lets out another sigh.]

Hey. So. Uh....

[HOW DO YOU CASUALLY ASK THE REST OF THE SHIP IF THEY WANT A PORNO MAG. These are things that Heine has never done before and will most likely never do again. It isn’t as if Nill told him he couldn’t destroy it, okay. He’s doing a... good deed. Mostly just getting rid of it. Heine clears his throat after casting a glance back at Nill that could probably be taken as a silent pleas for help. She stares sternly. YOU MADE THIS BED, YOU LAY IN IT.

IT WASN’T HIS FAULT, IT WAS THE SHIP'S FAULT.

After a moment he relents and grits his teeth as he speaks.]

Look. This piece of shit ship decided to leave me a “present” in my locker the last jump and I don’t need it or want it so this is me asking if any of you want it before I just toss it overboard or light it on fire.

[He looks at Nill as if to ask if that’s better, since he can’t actually toss anything overboard, fire seems like a good back-up plan. She nods, her wings sticking straight out behind her, agitated. She makes a sort of shooing gesture, signalling for him to wrap it up so they can talk about how he shouldn’t shove things like that under her bed.

It’s not his fault - oh, for chrissakes.]

For anyone interested it’s a...a... [End him. Please. SOMEONE END HIM because he doesn’t want to say this or show it on the network. There were reasons it was under the bed for the past two months. His hand meets his face. This is the most embarrassed that anyone will ever see Heine over the network.] afuckingpornomag.

[This transmission couldn’t end any faster.]

[Nill will also be replying to any comments made!]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[HEINE RAMMSTEINER, YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE]

[IT'S NOT HIS FAULT. IT. IS NOT. HIS. FAULT.

He tosses the comm device onto the bed and gives her a withering look that is mixed with his own brand of embarrassment.]

I didn't think you were gonna look under the bed.

[YOU PUT IT UNDER HER BED!!!

She just stares back at him. Heine's glare isn't very effective. She crosses her arms, still red-faced, and looks up at the ceiling. Of course she'd look under the bed when she cleaned!!]

[THERE WAS NO OTHER PLACE TO PUT IT. Oh my god.

He opens his mouth to say more but it just ends with him burying his face in his hands, an action he's done frequently for the past several hours since Nill discovered it.]

Someone will take it. [He sounds so horrifically sure.]

[THERE IS AN ENTIRE SHIP.

Her gaze shifts to the face-down magazine where it lays on the floor, right where she dropped it the second she picked it up and saw what it was. This is what being lazy gets you, Heine. She sets her mouth in a thin line, but does step towards him to pat his arm in an incredibly awkward manner. Yes, someone will take it and then they can never speak of it again.]

You got a what?

[Bells, you little shit.]

You hard on hearing or something?

[IT WAS FOLDED IN HIS NEW CLOTHES AND HE DIDN'T FIND IT UNTIL HE CAME BACK TO THE ROOM. CAN YOU GIVE THE MAN A BREAK?

The next look Heine gives her is incredibly weary before looking back down at the magazine and it's rather...suggestive cover before colouring a little bit.]

It's Badou's, I swear.

[ He's an asshole. ]

No, but you weren't making it very clear. What is it?

[THERE ARE NO BREAKS TO BE HAD HERE.

That much, at least, she knows is true. Heine has exactly zero interest in those sorts of things--which is one of the reasons why she's pretty okay with being around him all the time. Nill sighs again, the tension leaving her shoulders and her wings, and nods miserably. She knows. Thank God Badou isn't here right now. He'd be more livid than she and Heine were scandalized.]

[He's going to kill you.]

...A magazine.

[BUT WHY.

It's like he can tell what she's thinking as he miserably toes the magazine a little out of sight. He'd drop something on top of it to keep it out of sight, but he doesn't want to contaminate anything else in their room with it.]

If he ever shows up in this shit hole and finds out about this, he's gonna go nuts.

[HEINE JUST LOOK AT YOUR LIFE, LOOK AT YOUR CHOICES.

That is very kind of him to consider. She is happy to avoid touching it again at all. She has washed her hands three times, and they still feel dirty. But his comment makes a small smile quirk her lips as she imagines Badou being offended that they'd given it away (or destroyed it). She nods a bit, relaxing even more. It's over and done with, and soon enough it'll be gone.]

[ He's so ready for it. ]

Okay, uh. What's it do?

[HE'S A PRODUCT OF SOME MAD WOMAN'S DESIGN. THIS IS NOT HIS FAULT.

After a moment he clears his throat before sticking his hands into his pocket and sinking down onto the bed.]

...Sorry. Again.

Gee, you sure seem embarrassed.

[He really hates you.

His words may sound a little rushed.]

What the fuck do you think it does? It's a magazine.

[Just this face. Just. This. Face.]

[ York just chuckles and leans back in his chair. ]

You know, the human body is a natural and beautiful thing. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

[The look Heine is giving York could wither flowers.]

Great. Do you want the thing or not?

Sure. If you're offering. It's a one-way deal though, no take backs.

[ He's clearly teasing at this point. It's pretty obvious Heine wants nothing to do with the thing. ]

[ Join the club, pal. He's...confused. ]

I dunno. Maybe you should show me.

It would appear that some malfunction has occurred during your recording process. The conclusion of your transmission is somewhat difficult to comprehend.

What is it you acquired?

[ with zero shame. ]

I'll take it.

[ He seems so flustered that she kinda feels bad for asking. ]

:33 < could you repeat that please?
:33 < if its something from your world id be interested!

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