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very important text + distributed fliers

ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION
URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT

enclosed please find this very important poll. the answers are a matter of life & probably death. it is of the utmost importance that everyone answer this poll to the best of their abilities. what may seem to you as gossip is actually IMPORTANT so please take this very very seriously and consider your answers carefully. the answer that results in the best results to this poll will be rewarded handsomely.

1. do you know lucrezia borgia
2. who is lucrezia borgia's LOVER

very simple. thank you for your time & consideration & your help is greatly appreciated. remember there is a REWARD for the revelation of the LOVER

sincerely yrs,
the Band Of Lovely Lovers-possibly-Opposed-to luCrezia's Killer Sexlife (BoLLOCKS)

:)

[physical copies of this message can also be found 1. permanent sticking charm'd to Lucrezia's door 2. folded up as paper aeroplanes and flying around in the air, possibly bumping repeatedly into your head as they try to get your attention. eventually they will fade and fall to the floor and then the roombas can have a grand old time.]

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You what!

[He looks around at her, stung, holding her there with a gaze of shock and--yes, yes, there is a bit of hurt to it as well, and he presses a hand to his chest.]

What-- Lucrezia! Aren't you on my side? I never flirted with her, I was very sweet to her. A perfect gentleman. You can't say you'd have disapproved! Of me?

I am jesting! Only jesting.

[ she shifts to sit closer to him, nudging her shoulder against his. ]

I would not have disapproved. But he is her brother. I have two brothers older than me, and I know they would keep a close watch on any man that would speak to me. He is no different than them, it would seem.

[He sniffs--clearly still a little stung--but the nudge helps, and he at least manages to cast a sad look in her direction.]

Yes, but did your brothers have wolves to set against people that only wanted to speak with you.

My brothers are Cesare and Juan Borgia. They have no need for wolves. Older brothers are the same in every realm, it would seem.

Because they are wolves?

[He wrinkles his nose a little, disapproving and sceptical all at once.]

I hate older brothers. If I were free of older brothers, I would be the happiest man alive, I can tell you that. They make everything difficult. They send wolves to follow me when there's no reason--not now, not ever.

[But, solemnly, he shakes his head.]

Robb Stark. You're set on him? Really?

Every older brother is a wolf when need be, I suspect.

[ his dramatics bring a smile to her lips but she bites it back, nods her head. ]

I am. I do not know that he knows to what degree.

[A moment, as he considers this... as if she's asking for his approval (which she isn't, of course, but he's going to issue an opinion anyways!)...

And then, solemnly he nods.]

All right. Then I'll help.

Edited (pesky fingers!!!) 2013-04-22 21:56 (UTC)

-- Help?

[ Sirius what. ]

[Another solemn nod, and he's beginning to grin now--he can't help himself--]

Yes. Help. Oh, you'll thank me later, don't worry about that--

Will I know what I am receiving help with?

Well, your love, of course.

What of it? It exists and requires no assistance.

Oh, that's not true. Why is it a secret if it requires no assistance?

Because. I was a woman married when I arrived here and I am recently widowed. That alone is a good enough reason. So it is a secret.

Kings do not often court widowed women, Sirius Black. And he is a king and a king is bound to duties and honor and matches at their realms.

[Well. That's a bit of complex thinking for him; he doesn't often consider... you know, widows, and kings, and marriages, and things. Proper pureblood marriages are made on different grounds and he doesn't much like to think of them anyway. But... all right, so he can sort of see her point. Except--]

So what happens, then. You just... sit and look at each other?

It is a secret, alas!

[ meaning, no. ]

[Slowly, he nods, as if understanding of this secret is slowly dawning over him--yes, yes, secrets, yes, understandable--but then, thoughtfully:]

Funny thing about secrets. Your relationship with King Robb was a secret, wasn't it? And now I know it. So you can always find out secrets. This one seems like it might be a bit easier to find out...

I chose you to know of it, Sirius Black -

You did! Yes! And thank you for choosing for me to know of it--but the thing of it is, I still found out. No matter how I did it, I still found out. I couldn't have without you choosing to tell me, of course, it was too locked-up--but this one would be easy.

I'd just have to follow you around. Which I would be more than happy to do.

You will follow me to know of my what I speak to Robb Stark about?

Yeah! Well, that or I'll have you followed, I haven't decided which.

You are a terrible friend!!

[ but she's laughing. ]

I only have your best interests at heart, miss, I assure you.

[And he clasps his hands and presses them to said heart to prove it. Would an insincere man be able to beam at her so earnestly?]

You won't even know I'm there. I will be invisible. I won't intrude at all, I'll just observe.

You will not!

[ and she reaches takes his hands in hers. ]

See, now you are captive and you shall do as I say. You will not.

[He tries to pull away. "Tries", really, because he's not trying at all--though he gives a few gentle tugs for good measure before he gives up with a huge sigh, his shoulders slumping.]

What a cruel jailer I've got. But I'll need something better than mere captivity to convince me. Unless you're proposing to hold my hands forever? [He arches one eyebrow at her, smirking.] I should think King Lover would have something to say about that course of action.

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