ataraxion | very important text + distributed fliers

ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION
URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT

enclosed please find this very important poll. the answers are a matter of life & probably death. it is of the utmost importance that everyone answer this poll to the best of their abilities. what may seem to you as gossip is actually IMPORTANT so please take this very very seriously and consider your answers carefully. the answer that results in the best results to this poll will be rewarded handsomely.

1. do you know lucrezia borgia
2. who is lucrezia borgia's LOVER

very simple. thank you for your time & consideration & your help is greatly appreciated. remember there is a REWARD for the revelation of the LOVER

sincerely yrs,
the Band Of Lovely Lovers-possibly-Opposed-to luCrezia's Killer Sexlife (BoLLOCKS)

:)

[physical copies of this message can also be found 1. permanent sticking charm'd to Lucrezia's door 2. folded up as paper aeroplanes and flying around in the air, possibly bumping repeatedly into your head as they try to get your attention. eventually they will fade and fall to the floor and then the roombas can have a grand old time.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Well. That's a bit of complex thinking for him; he doesn't often consider... you know, widows, and kings, and marriages, and things. Proper pureblood marriages are made on different grounds and he doesn't much like to think of them anyway. But... all right, so he can sort of see her point. Except--]

So what happens, then. You just... sit and look at each other?

It is a secret, alas!

[ meaning, no. ]

[Slowly, he nods, as if understanding of this secret is slowly dawning over him--yes, yes, secrets, yes, understandable--but then, thoughtfully:]

Funny thing about secrets. Your relationship with King Robb was a secret, wasn't it? And now I know it. So you can always find out secrets. This one seems like it might be a bit easier to find out...

I chose you to know of it, Sirius Black -

You did! Yes! And thank you for choosing for me to know of it--but the thing of it is, I still found out. No matter how I did it, I still found out. I couldn't have without you choosing to tell me, of course, it was too locked-up--but this one would be easy.

I'd just have to follow you around. Which I would be more than happy to do.

You will follow me to know of my what I speak to Robb Stark about?

Yeah! Well, that or I'll have you followed, I haven't decided which.

You are a terrible friend!!

[ but she's laughing. ]

I only have your best interests at heart, miss, I assure you.

[And he clasps his hands and presses them to said heart to prove it. Would an insincere man be able to beam at her so earnestly?]

You won't even know I'm there. I will be invisible. I won't intrude at all, I'll just observe.

You will not!

[ and she reaches takes his hands in hers. ]

See, now you are captive and you shall do as I say. You will not.

[He tries to pull away. "Tries", really, because he's not trying at all--though he gives a few gentle tugs for good measure before he gives up with a huge sigh, his shoulders slumping.]

What a cruel jailer I've got. But I'll need something better than mere captivity to convince me. Unless you're proposing to hold my hands forever? [He arches one eyebrow at her, smirking.] I should think King Lover would have something to say about that course of action.

I lied to you, you know.

[ she smiles, keeps his hands his hers. ]

Will you forgive me?

[Suspiciously, he squints at her.]

Lied to me about what.

I love him terribly, Robb Stark; but he is not my lover, or at least not yet. He is a good man, he cares for my honor.

[....all right, just give that a moment to sink in.]

He's-- what!

[That what is very nearly indignant, for her sake. And that's all he can manage, except to stare at her because THIS IS JUST UNFATHOMABLE.]

He has never been to my bed, nor I to his. I believe he thinks it would bring shame upon me, it is without honor, we are not wedded.

[He stares at her a moment longer--and then renews his stare, because come on--]

That's very sweet, yes, but-- you. Is he actually a man?

He is a very very patient man. Which leaves me with simply one course of action.

'Patient' isn't the word for it. Sexless, maybe--

[He says that under his breath for minimal offense.]

Is this course of action the sort where I'm not allowed to follow you around spying on you in case I see some seducing going on?

Such a clever man.

[ she grins. that is exactly why. ]

[And he returns that grin. It's not him that's getting some, of course, but that doesn't mean he still can't be happy for Lucrezia. (And Robb. Somewhat.)]

What a vixen. I'll give you your privacy. For a price.

I am not. If a man wishes for something only he dares not say he does and I give it without it being asked, then I am sweet and kind!

[ but she smiles. ]

Name your price.

There are sweet kind vixens out there, y'know, but they're no less vixeny. Perhaps more so. But my price...

[He considers, for a moment, and then snaps his fingers. Got it.]

You'll have to tell me of your conquest.

--- And you will keep my secret?

If you meet my demand: yes. I will keep your secret, and I won't follow you around, visible or invisible.

action!

mansuetus - 2013-04-30 19:18 (UTC) - Expand

doggedly - 2013-04-30 19:39 (UTC) - Expand

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