001 | video | what do you do with a drunken sailor?

[bribed]

Last time I was this ruttin’ drunk, Mal got married to a-- a-- [ there are some words there that sound vaguely like butchered Mandarin; it’s a futuristic dialect, but the man speaking it is also so drunk that it sounds like the communicator can’t quite translate it. ] An’ I passed out.

But he did later, ‘cause he kissed ‘er on the mouth.

[ The device suddenly turns over, Jayne staring down at it. From the look of him and the several empty bottles sitting next to him -- on the floor -- he’s been drinking for a while. Reaching for another bottle of something that looks extraordinarily cheap, he takes a swig, then sighs. ]

I miss my guns.

Comments

video

[doc_pompous]

[Simon wishes he were surprised. But he's not.]

Well, that took...no time at all.

video

[bribed]

There's nothin' to ruttin' do on this boat.

[ Ignoring that he said he'd go with Cillian to scavenge. And the gyms. And the shooting range. And the alcohol.

Yeah, ignoring all that. ]

video;

[onsilksheets]

[He looks like that Casey person. Except with facial hair and a drinking problem. But then Bela knows she has a few doppelgangers so why not?]

You're embarrassing yourself.

video;

[bribed]

[ It's not a problem. ]

So? Ain't like my ma's here, and my captain neither.

[doc_pompous]

You could join a department.

[NOT MINE THOUGH]

audio; locked

[target]

[audio instead of text because yes, he actually taking pity on jayne here. shock horror.]

So find some replacements till you get sent back home.

[ video || placeholder sob ]

[thoughts]

They don't miss you.

audio »

[widowing]

[ oh jayne, you get more amusing by the second. ]

We have more.

(voice.)

[carbonite]

That's rough, buddy.

video;

[onsilksheets]

[Uh huh, sure.]

Let me guess: you're a perfect mother's boy.

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

You're tellin' me - the least this fuckin' ship an' wwhatevver horrorterrible powwers that are possessin' it could do is givve us all some of our coddamn wweaponry back. Not that it really matters noww, but still, Ahab's wwould'a kept evverythin' wway more manageable here. I could'a had a fuckin' legendary wweapon to protect myself, an' don't evven get me started on howw much help it wwould be servvin' in the Security department -

[i think he's kind of forgot he's talking over the network and not in real life, woops.]

...Either wway, you're not the only one missin' their basic fuckin' wweaponry, but there's fuck all t'do about it, so you might as wwell get ovver yourself.

[voice]

[jurisimpudent]

[Dryly:]

So you speak of the mistakes made the last time you were intoxicated...from a state of similar intoxication. Marvelous capacity for learning from your mistakes.

video

[slipperysoul]

[ GODDAMMIT. ]

How many of you are there?

video

[intersection]

Y'know, you kind of... remind me of someone.

[bribed]

There ain't no money on this ship.

[ He needs payment duh Simon. ]

video;

[bribed]

Send her money from each job.

audio; locked

[bribed]

[ Good thing too, because his reading skills are terrible. ]

I've got two here with me. Ain't nothin' like a weapon you know, though.

[ video ]

[bribed]

'course they don't. They're guns.

[ hi crazy. ]

audio »

[bribed]

They any good though?

(voice.)

[bribed]

Ain't it just.

[voice]

[bribed]

I'd sure feel a helluva lot better if I had more an' two, that's for sure. Guessin' you're the same, which 'sgood. Namin' 'em, too. Good.

[ Not that Ahab is a girl's name, but whatever. ]

[voice]

[bribed]

I didn't do nothin' last time I was this drunk. I got a rain stick.

video

[bribed]

[ uh ]

One?

video

[bribed]

I ain't your boyfriend.

video

[slipperysoul]

[ no. ]

Try three.