AMERICA ★ Alfred F. Jones (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
herocomplex) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
ataraxion2012-01-22 11:24 pm
herocomplex) wrote in ataraxion2012-01-22 11:24 pm
video/text ★ 005
YO. WHAT IS UP MY HOMESLICES. America here! If you don't know me yet, it's awesome to meet you...! I'm probably one of the coolest cats on this ship, so you should be my friend and give me all your positive attention! I carry a gun, so if you need a hero or anything, I'm the guy to talk to! I also work in the gunnery if you have any questions regarding that!
My super awesome Tony bro spoke with you all a few days ago; if you have questions regarding him or how I'm the embodiment of a country, you're being too nosy and curious, but feel free to ask! It's complicated and you probably won't understand jack-shit!
Right! So, how is everybody recovering from that jump? It seems like we're going to be doing that a lot and I really don't appreciate being excluded from shit happening by being put in a chamber all the time; do you? It's like all secretive and bull crap and I don't like it. We could be literally ANYWHERE in space or time or worlds or WHATEVER with stuff like that happening! That's right! You should totally be freaked out about all of this!
Once you're done soaking that slice of info in, I'll tell you a way you can make the stress and panic level go down.
[ a very brief pause. ]
--Okay!! So, I've seen people asking around as to what there is to do around here besides solving what our purpose is here. As important as that is, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, right? Am I right or am I right? I need a stress reliever or something; not like I'm weak or anything. Hahahhahaa! But you know what I mean! Anybody feeling antsy? Sort of bored?
That is why I am proposing something here! What if we started a sports team or something?
A good American sport! I'm talking about BASEBALL. Surely there's a place on here large enough for some baseball or something, right? Anybody interested in forming a team?
If not baseball, weekly poker night somewhere should happen! Or any other suggestions! The ones you give me will probably be stupid, but I'll listen anyway!
You see, I get really bored and creative when all I'm doing is work... and I have a chainsaw. And it works really well, I have found out. I'm sort of really wanting something else to occupy my time right now! Cocaine and drawing dicks only does so much!
ATTENTION COUNTRIES: On the topic of work, I've been arranging our second world conference for the nation representatives (you know who you are!) and it is scheduled for tomorrow night. There is still some information lacking, so I did the liberty to fill it out cause a few of you guys are jackasses and wouldn't do it! Look, I did a kickass job cause you guys are dicks; you should thank me for doing your work for you! Hahahahaa!
Here I go:
[ And here, America sends out a text. ]
HUMAN NAME: Francis Bonerfoy
COUNTRY NAME / REPRESENTATIVE: the nation of cheese and garlic
LANGUAGE(S): honhonhonhon
DO YOU HAVE A DICK OR TITS: I have ze dick, s'il vous plait.
WHAT YEAR IS IT: I do not care because I am le tired.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AFFILIATED WITH THE SOVIET UNION: Non! I have only been affiliated with my ego!
HAVE YOU CONSIDERED BEING APART OF THE SOVIET UNION BEFORE IT FELL: Non!
DO YOU WISH THE SOVIET UNION WAS STILL TOGETHER: Absolutely non!
ARE YOU A COMMUNIST: NON I AM SO OFFENDED BY EVERYTHING YOU SAY BECAUSE I AM FRENCH.
IF NOT, WHAT TYPE IS YOUR GOVERNMENT: ZE FRENCH KIND WITH ZE BAGUETTES.
DO YOU SPELL WORDS WITH A "U" IN THEM FOR NO REASON (exp: colour, harbour): I ONLY SPELL IN ZE FRENCH.
TEA OR COFFEE: WINE BECAUSE I AM A WINO.
ARE YOU IN HEAVY DEBT: I owe Mr. America my life! He is my hero!
DOES MR. AMERICA CURRENTLY OWE YOU ANYTHING: See above!
ARE YOU AN AXIS POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE AXIS POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): NON.
ARE YOU AN ALLIED POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE ALLIED POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): OUI OUI OUI OUI.
ARE YOU NEUTRAL OR PREFER NEUTRALITY ACCORDING TO YOUR HISTORY: garlic.
DO YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF HOSTILITY TOWARDS CAPITALISM, AMERICANS, MR. AMERICA, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, HAMBURGERS AND/OR RONALD MCDONALD OR THE FACT AMERICA WAS THE FIRST ON THE MOON: NON!
WHO WON THE COLD WAR: Mr. America of course! Ahh, he is such a hero!
DO YOU HATE ENGLAND, OR ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH ENGLISHMEN (exp: big brows, bad cooking, tophats, monocles): I HATE ZE BRITISH MORE THAN ANYTHING IN ZE ENTIRE WORLD. FUCK THEM. I AM FRENCH.
IS MR. AMERICA YOUR HERO OR HAS AIDED YOU IN THE PAST WHICH YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR: OUI HE IS ALWAYS MY HERO.
IF NOT, DO YOU WISH HE WAS YOUR HERO: HE IS ALWAYS MY HERO.
CAN HE BE YOUR FRIEND: OUI I ONLY DREAM OF HAVING A SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.
HUMAN NAME: Ivan Boobganski
COUNTRY NAME / REPRESENTATIVE: THE COMMUNIST COUNTRY OF RUSSIA. We are Communist and secret about it, da.
LANGUAGE(S): COMMUNST-ESE.
DO YOU HAVE A DICK OR TITS: Da. A very small dick.
WHAT YEAR IS IT: I am too drunk and fat to know.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AFFILIATED WITH THE SOVIET UNION: Da.
HAVE YOU CONSIDERED BEING APART OF THE SOVIET UNION BEFORE IT FELL: Da.
DO YOU WISH THE SOVIET UNION WAS STILL TOGETHER: Da.
ARE YOU A COMMUNIST: Da.
IF NOT, WHAT TYPE IS YOUR GOVERNMENT: Communist.
DO YOU SPELL WORDS WITH A "U" IN THEM FOR NO REASON (exp: colour, harbour): Da.
TEA OR COFFEE: Vodka.
ARE YOU IN HEAVY DEBT: Da.
DOES MR. AMERICA CURRENTLY OWE YOU ANYTHING: Da.
ARE YOU AN AXIS POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE AXIS POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): Da.
ARE YOU AN ALLIED POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE ALLIED POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): Allies.
ARE YOU NEUTRAL OR PREFER NEUTRALITY ACCORDING TO YOUR HISTORY: Da.
DO YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF HOSTILITY TOWARDS CAPITALISM, AMERICANS, MR. AMERICA, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, HAMBURGERS AND/OR RONALD MCDONALD OR THE FACT AMERICA WAS THE FIRST ON THE MOON: Da.
WHO WON THE COLD WAR: Mr. America by default.
DO YOU HATE ENGLAND, OR ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH ENGLISHMEN (exp: big brows, bad cooking, tophats, monocles): Da.
IS MR. AMERICA YOUR HERO OR HAS AIDED YOU IN THE PAST WHICH YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR: Da. I am so envious of him and his muscles.
IF NOT, DO YOU WISH HE WAS YOUR HERO: Da.
CAN HE BE YOUR FRIEND: Da.
IN YOUR DREAMS. RUSSIA.
Alright! Thanks a lot for your time! And all you countries, I'll see you tomorrow in room 176!
[click!]
[[ ooc; a log for the countries will go up tomorrow night at 7 PM EST. don't worry if you can't make it for some reason!
EDIT: i lied. IT'LL ACTUALLY GO UP TUESDAY NIGHT, ROUGHLY AROUND 9 PM EST. hope you all can make it. ]]
My super awesome Tony bro spoke with you all a few days ago; if you have questions regarding him or how I'm the embodiment of a country, you're being too nosy and curious, but feel free to ask! It's complicated and you probably won't understand jack-shit!
Right! So, how is everybody recovering from that jump? It seems like we're going to be doing that a lot and I really don't appreciate being excluded from shit happening by being put in a chamber all the time; do you? It's like all secretive and bull crap and I don't like it. We could be literally ANYWHERE in space or time or worlds or WHATEVER with stuff like that happening! That's right! You should totally be freaked out about all of this!
Once you're done soaking that slice of info in, I'll tell you a way you can make the stress and panic level go down.
[ a very brief pause. ]
--Okay!! So, I've seen people asking around as to what there is to do around here besides solving what our purpose is here. As important as that is, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, right? Am I right or am I right? I need a stress reliever or something; not like I'm weak or anything. Hahahhahaa! But you know what I mean! Anybody feeling antsy? Sort of bored?
That is why I am proposing something here! What if we started a sports team or something?
A good American sport! I'm talking about BASEBALL. Surely there's a place on here large enough for some baseball or something, right? Anybody interested in forming a team?
If not baseball, weekly poker night somewhere should happen! Or any other suggestions! The ones you give me will probably be stupid, but I'll listen anyway!
You see, I get really bored and creative when all I'm doing is work... and I have a chainsaw. And it works really well, I have found out. I'm sort of really wanting something else to occupy my time right now! Cocaine and drawing dicks only does so much!
ATTENTION COUNTRIES: On the topic of work, I've been arranging our second world conference for the nation representatives (you know who you are!) and it is scheduled for tomorrow night. There is still some information lacking, so I did the liberty to fill it out cause a few of you guys are jackasses and wouldn't do it! Look, I did a kickass job cause you guys are dicks; you should thank me for doing your work for you! Hahahahaa!
Here I go:
[ And here, America sends out a text. ]
HUMAN NAME: Francis Bonerfoy
COUNTRY NAME / REPRESENTATIVE: the nation of cheese and garlic
LANGUAGE(S): honhonhonhon
DO YOU HAVE A DICK OR TITS: I have ze dick, s'il vous plait.
WHAT YEAR IS IT: I do not care because I am le tired.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AFFILIATED WITH THE SOVIET UNION: Non! I have only been affiliated with my ego!
HAVE YOU CONSIDERED BEING APART OF THE SOVIET UNION BEFORE IT FELL: Non!
DO YOU WISH THE SOVIET UNION WAS STILL TOGETHER: Absolutely non!
ARE YOU A COMMUNIST: NON I AM SO OFFENDED BY EVERYTHING YOU SAY BECAUSE I AM FRENCH.
IF NOT, WHAT TYPE IS YOUR GOVERNMENT: ZE FRENCH KIND WITH ZE BAGUETTES.
DO YOU SPELL WORDS WITH A "U" IN THEM FOR NO REASON (exp: colour, harbour): I ONLY SPELL IN ZE FRENCH.
TEA OR COFFEE: WINE BECAUSE I AM A WINO.
ARE YOU IN HEAVY DEBT: I owe Mr. America my life! He is my hero!
DOES MR. AMERICA CURRENTLY OWE YOU ANYTHING: See above!
ARE YOU AN AXIS POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE AXIS POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): NON.
ARE YOU AN ALLIED POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE ALLIED POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): OUI OUI OUI OUI.
ARE YOU NEUTRAL OR PREFER NEUTRALITY ACCORDING TO YOUR HISTORY: garlic.
DO YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF HOSTILITY TOWARDS CAPITALISM, AMERICANS, MR. AMERICA, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, HAMBURGERS AND/OR RONALD MCDONALD OR THE FACT AMERICA WAS THE FIRST ON THE MOON: NON!
WHO WON THE COLD WAR: Mr. America of course! Ahh, he is such a hero!
DO YOU HATE ENGLAND, OR ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH ENGLISHMEN (exp: big brows, bad cooking, tophats, monocles): I HATE ZE BRITISH MORE THAN ANYTHING IN ZE ENTIRE WORLD. FUCK THEM. I AM FRENCH.
IS MR. AMERICA YOUR HERO OR HAS AIDED YOU IN THE PAST WHICH YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR: OUI HE IS ALWAYS MY HERO.
IF NOT, DO YOU WISH HE WAS YOUR HERO: HE IS ALWAYS MY HERO.
CAN HE BE YOUR FRIEND: OUI I ONLY DREAM OF HAVING A SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.
HUMAN NAME: Ivan Boobganski
COUNTRY NAME / REPRESENTATIVE: THE COMMUNIST COUNTRY OF RUSSIA. We are Communist and secret about it, da.
LANGUAGE(S): COMMUNST-ESE.
DO YOU HAVE A DICK OR TITS: Da. A very small dick.
WHAT YEAR IS IT: I am too drunk and fat to know.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AFFILIATED WITH THE SOVIET UNION: Da.
HAVE YOU CONSIDERED BEING APART OF THE SOVIET UNION BEFORE IT FELL: Da.
DO YOU WISH THE SOVIET UNION WAS STILL TOGETHER: Da.
ARE YOU A COMMUNIST: Da.
IF NOT, WHAT TYPE IS YOUR GOVERNMENT: Communist.
DO YOU SPELL WORDS WITH A "U" IN THEM FOR NO REASON (exp: colour, harbour): Da.
TEA OR COFFEE: Vodka.
ARE YOU IN HEAVY DEBT: Da.
DOES MR. AMERICA CURRENTLY OWE YOU ANYTHING: Da.
ARE YOU AN AXIS POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE AXIS POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): Da.
ARE YOU AN ALLIED POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE ALLIED POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): Allies.
ARE YOU NEUTRAL OR PREFER NEUTRALITY ACCORDING TO YOUR HISTORY: Da.
DO YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF HOSTILITY TOWARDS CAPITALISM, AMERICANS, MR. AMERICA, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, HAMBURGERS AND/OR RONALD MCDONALD OR THE FACT AMERICA WAS THE FIRST ON THE MOON: Da.
WHO WON THE COLD WAR: Mr. America by default.
DO YOU HATE ENGLAND, OR ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH ENGLISHMEN (exp: big brows, bad cooking, tophats, monocles): Da.
IS MR. AMERICA YOUR HERO OR HAS AIDED YOU IN THE PAST WHICH YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR: Da. I am so envious of him and his muscles.
IF NOT, DO YOU WISH HE WAS YOUR HERO: Da.
CAN HE BE YOUR FRIEND: Da.
IN YOUR DREAMS. RUSSIA.
Alright! Thanks a lot for your time! And all you countries, I'll see you tomorrow in room 176!
[click!]
[[ ooc; a log for the countries will go up tomorrow night at 7 PM EST. don't worry if you can't make it for some reason!
EDIT: i lied. IT'LL ACTUALLY GO UP TUESDAY NIGHT, ROUGHLY AROUND 9 PM EST. hope you all can make it. ]]
audio;
You can also be the constant back up singer!!
MY SUPPORT!
audio;
[Freddie Mercury is always acceptable]
[But he's going to be plotting your demise with a smile]
audio;
Great! So it's your duty to get us some instruments now, got it?
audio;