╰xx6╮[video]

[lacksgrace]

[ Time for another lovely PA post from Tranquility's resident insensitive jerk. Except, this time, the video isn't as focused as normal; it bounces a little with each step he takes and only shows glimpses of green. The thick, pretty dense parts of the Oxygen Garden. ]

I keep saying it over and over, and I don't think people are getting the idea yet. [ A huff. ] No one has it easy--I understand that. Every jump brings a new group of people here, and it's the same boring shit.

I don't wanna be here. I wanna go home. This place is dangerous. Maybe it is, yeah. But has anyone ever considered actually trying to make it work instead of just, I dunno. Looking for a way to leave?

[ The aggravation isn't wearing off this time. He's had a bad jump, and when he sets his device aside, tucked somewhere up in a tree so he can look into it, his face is pretty pale. Bells seems anxious, unsure. He bites at his lip. ]

I mean, it's not the worst place. Right? There are things, people worth needing to be here for. And what if - [ He visibly swallows, looking down at something he's holding in his hands. ] - what if you're pretty damn sure home doesn't wanna have you back anyway? The message is kinda clear when someone you thought who'd never, fuck. Someone who you figured would never say something like that to you has said what they think without even being here.

[ Rambling now, and his fingers tremble as he lifts the gun into view. It hangs limply for a second, then he curls his hand around it. Tight enough so that his knuckles are white with the pressure. Bells steps closer to the device, snatching it and bringing it close to his face. The barrel, now, is pressed hard beneath his jaw.]

None of you have any fucking idea. This isn't the worst it could be.

[ He drops the device, and just as the video is cut, the sound of the gun discharging can be heard. ]

Comments

text;

[chaineddog]

Death ain't the worst thing that could happen either.

[Heine isn't exactly moved or affected by what he's doing, but he's tried killing himself enough times before. He knows the feel of death and it's a lot sweeter than the life he's living.]

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[lacksgrace]

I'm pretty sure I know that. I've been there already. I just-- [ He takes a few seconds to breathe, trying to work out his nerves. ] I needed to do something.

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[chaineddog]

[There's a sigh on Heine's end not that he could hear it.]

Trying to kill yourself over the network was that 'something' then? I've heard of some fucked up ideas but...

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[lacksgrace]

I wasn't gonna kill myself. [ He rubs his fingers over his face. ] Maybe it was to make a point too. I dunno. It's not like it matters now.

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[chaineddog]

Would have made a bigger statement if you did.

[SORRY HE'S NOT SORRY ;;]

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[lacksgrace]

Sorry to disappoint you then. [ He's pretty bitter about it. ] Seems like that's all I'm good for anyway. At least I don't know who you are. So it's not like I'm actually letting you down or anything.

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[chaineddog]

Life gets a hell of a lot easier when you stop expecting shit from people including yourself. They live and they die - it's up to them how soon they wanna end it.

[At least...that's the way it is for most people. Heine isn't the average human.]

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[lacksgrace]

[ There's a slight scoff. ]

Funny you say that. I've been trying to learn the opposite. I was good with thinking nothing mattered, but then-- [ Nope. Not going to explain that to a complete stranger. ] It's not that easy.

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[chaineddog]

[He can't help but pause at that, his thoughts flickering briefly to Nill and Badou and Naoto and Bishop before - ]

I guess. Life is complicated enough as it is. Throw other people into the mix and you better be prepared to deal with the shit storm that comes with them.

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[lacksgrace]

[ There's a long silence, and by the time he answers, he's forgotten what he wants to say. ]

Who are you exactly?

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[chaineddog]

[It takes a couple of minutes before he responds.]

What's it to you?

[lacksgrace]

Can't blame me for being curious, right? I just wanna know.

text;

[chaineddog]

Curiosity kills a lot of people.

[A beat later:]

Heine.

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[lacksgrace]

[ A shrug. He's a lot tougher than that, he's sure. ]

Heine. [ And he squints, probably close but not quite to actually pronouncing it correctly. ] Am I, uh, saying that right?

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[chaineddog]

[There's a bit of a snort from Heine. Whatever.]

Close enough. You got a name or am I just gonna call you Try Hard?

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[lacksgrace]

Beleth. But I guess you can call me Bells if you think you can remember that.

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[chaineddog]

What kind of name is 'Bells'? I liked 'Try Hard' better.

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[lacksgrace]

I dunno. My name? No one said you had to like it.

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[chaineddog]

Liking it or hating it means actually giving enough of a shit to do that in the first place.

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[lacksgrace]

Then why are you talking to me?

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[chaineddog]

I was bored.

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[lacksgrace]

There are better things to do when you're bored, you know.

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[chaineddog]

Like trying to make a point?

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[lacksgrace]

No. People around here never wanna listen anyway. [ A breath. ] Fuck 'em. They haven't done anything for me. So it was just a waste of time to even try.

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[chaineddog]

You sure change your tone quickly.