(voice ; o1.)

[carbonite]

Uh, this is Stormtrooper ... zero, fifty, zero, omega (that works, he supposes) we have a situation here, requesting backup. We have a wookie on the loose, I repeat, we have a wookie on the loose. Warning, warning, warning, warning he's loose in sectors four, five and seven. Probably.

Possibly.

We aren't sure, but that's why I'm requesting backup because how am I supposed to scout this entire facility for him?

(there's the sound of a laser shooting something) Also, cancel that reactor leak. I think I fixed it. Uhm, you never answered how you were doing?

Comments

[cons]

As opposed to telling you things in hopes that you don't trust me?

[carbonite]

You did just tell me that the old man that got me into this huge mess is young again, so pardon me if I'm not a believer just yet.

[cons]

... Okay, point. But you also woke up in a tub of goo, is that normal for you?

It's not Obi Wan's fault you're here, by the way.

[carbonite]

Who're you to judge what's normal for me or what's not? (which means yes, it's abnormal for him. don't hate.)

Lets not even get started on what is or isn't the Old Man's fault.

[cons]

I'm asking! [ and she's laughing ] I wasn't judging, I'm just saying. "I woke up naked in a goo tube, on a ship I've never seen before" is the norm here. So is following up said goo bath with a Q&A session. I'm just.. dishing out As without the Qs.

[carbonite]

Really, when haven't you woken up naked in a strange place? (a beat:) The goo is a new one, though.

[cons]

There you go.

Either way, I don't have any reason to lie. After a year you start to realize there's nothing to be gained from holding out information here, it all ends up coming out one way or another anyway.

[carbonite]

(he's hesitant.) Alright. What else can you tell me?

[cons]

... Well I dunno, um. Ask me things. Just nothing to do with how or why we're here, because nobody knows. And the only two people that might know but never feel like sharing with the rest of the class are currently MIA.

[carbonite]

And no one has ever thought about beating it out of them?

[cons]

[ mouth opens!

..then.....closes..? ]

Huh, you know? I don't think anybody's actually tried that.

[carbonite]

Who knew that violence was the answer?

[cons]

Or it'll just land you some time in the brig.

The two left from the original crew of this ship are the old captain, and her first officer.

[carbonite]

There's nothing wrong with getting in the brig. You're just terrible if you do.

[cons]

Exactly. So. Assaulting the [ airquotes here ] " Captain " isn't an option, which means beating answers out of them isn't going to fly.

Plus people've been showing up and disappearing here for a long time now, and we're no closer to knowing why than we were when it all started, so. Let's move right along. We also don't actually know where the ship is headed, and the last time we made a stop somewhere, a bunch of the passengers were brainwashed in a stupidly effective way, so, I wouldn't get off at the next stop either.

[carbonite]

That's because you guys won't help me beat up the captain. You know, rally the fellow captives. (that's just being lazy.)

... You think they kill us off?

[cons]

I dunno what they plan for us. It's not an all-expenses paid pleasure cruise though, that's for sure.

[carbonite]

Why is it never an all-expenses paid pleasure cruise, though? Would it really hurt for it to work out for once?

[cons]

I've been asking myself that since the first day I got here. Unfortunately, the only kinds of answers I've been met with are reasons to make me stop asking. And focus more on, um, not dying.

[carbonite]

Is it that bad? (seriously, is it though?)

[cons]

[ she clears her throat, trying to sound a little more serious ]

It can be, yeah. Every so often we get a grace period, but it's kind of one of those situations where 'good day' just means 'nothing tried to attack me today'.

... We've got a bar, at least.

[carbonite]

Oh good, there's a bar. How nice of them to offset the terribleness that constantly surrounds us.

[cons]

[ well that makes her laugh ]

Oh, don't be so dramatic. It's a really cool bar.

[carbonite]

I'm still going to die.