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[This begins with a video: Seraphim's hand, holding a dish made of gross gelatinous goo. She sets it down on what is obviously a kitchen counter, and the video clicks off, and the text begins.]

I know we all are living on top of each other and in each other's space, but I think it's only polite to throw away your gross experiments or leftover food or unholy sacrifices. Or store them in places where other people don't accidentally put their hands in it.

I don't know what that stuff is but it smells like it's rotting and it was in the sixth floor kitchen fridge for I don't know how long.

I really don't think we should need to have a class on how to live in a dorm. Or something like a chore wheel.

Seriously whoever this belongs to, come clean it up. Please, and thank you.

[ooc: Thanks, Jaye and Mike.]

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Why?

Because she'd chew you up and spit you out.

And she is the sort of person who contends that you can become offended at disgusting, offensive things only if this disgusting, offensive thing is something that touches you personally?

It's a basic human function and I swear if that was a subtle jab at my grandmother and how she raised me I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE.

[A pause, then - ]

Of course it was not. I know you think me a low, base person, Mr. Ross, but I am not quite so low or base as that.

You better not be.

[He should leave it at that. In frustration and hurt, though, he texts one last thing:]

Glad to hear you think that I'm capable of sinking to any depth. Leaves my options open.

Oh my god, I am not indulging your pity party, Miles Edgeworth. Just accept you're wrong and move on, good god.

I'm not wrong, actually. Offense is offense, and anyone can feel it. Even if one party tries his utmost to make the offended party into some sort of monster.

Why do you think, after what you told me about her, that I would ever insult her?

You do this each time. EACH AND EVERY SINGLE TIME WE TALK. I'm not doing it today, Edgeworth, I'm taking a rain check. The whole taking everything personally and projecting your issues onto me because I JUST SO HAPPEN to say the one thing, accidentally, that brings up whatever trauma from your past to the surface and paints me as the bad guy over it.

NOT TODAY. I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION.

[Fuck you Mike Ross]

Again resorting to baseless, bizarre, and ad hominem attacks; who said anything about "trauma" at any point? I'm ending this conversation now so that you can stop embarrassing yourself by trying to make this about me

YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITE!!!!

[Cuttin the feed, bro.]

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text; /chortles