03 ✡ text

[growling]

PSA on behalf of Josh of "Awkwardly Hug a Josh Day":

If you hug me without permission I will cry bad touching and sick one of our many obnoxious lawyers on you.

Don't do it.

[ 100% ENCRYPTION - AIDAN WAITE ]

You do realize I turn the fake-30th. If I literally bite someone's head off that's on you and your juvenile accomplice, buddy.

Comments

[fraud]

Okay, that's fine.

Hey, I didn't "ambulance chase". I was a corporate lawyer, less defending patients, more defending hospitals. Still completely useless here though.

[growling]

Hey, "completely useless" is awfully strong. I'm sure you're good for something.

Sometimes the roombas miss a spot. You could always follow them around with a dustpan.

[fraud]

Oh fuck you, I'm completely useful. I just don't define myself by "lawyer" while... the other lawyers here seem to do that. (SPOILERS: THIS IS KIND OF CREEPY.)

[growling]

Yeah, who needs labels anyway. But in all seriousness, yes, kind of creepy.

And I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you seem like a terrible lawyer.

[fraud]

I am not! I'm actually really good at my job but space sucks so much. So. So. Much.

[growling]

No argument there.

But seriously, what I mean is you don't much resemble the usual suit-wearing, soul-sucking sharks. Which I've said before, but that time I meant it as an insult, so.

[fraud]

Oh.

Well, thanks then. I really do not want to be a shark. I leave that to Harvey.

[ AND THEN SEASON TWWWOOO HAPPEEEENNNSS AND HE BECOMES A SHARK HAHAHA (yay) ]