TEXT || CITE 01 ALTERNIA CODE § 001

[pythianjudgment]

WOW 1SNT TH1S OR1G1N4L
1 4M ON 4 SP4C3 ST4T1ON
3V3RYBODY LOOK 4T M3
SOM3TH1NG SOM3TH1NG
T4K3 4 GOOD H4RD LOOK 4T TH3 MOTH3RFUCK1NG SP4C3 ST4T1ON

WHOOP WHOOP 1 4M NOW 4 COLOSS4L TOOL
M4Y 1 JOIN YOUR SP4C3 R4NKS?
1 FUCK1NG LOV3 SP4C3

NO S3R1OUSLY 1S TH3R3 4N 3X1T OFF TH1S TH1NG?
1V3 B33N H3R3 FOR 4LL OF F1V3 M1NUT3S 4ND 1 4M 4LR34DY DON3
K33P YOUR SOUV3N13R SH1RTS 1 DONT W4NT YOUR H4TS
TROLL MCGUYV3R M3 4 SP4C3 SU1T FROM 4 SNORK3L M4SK 4ND 4N 1NFL4T4BL3 BODYSU1T
4ND 1LL FLO4T MY W4Y B4CK TO R34L C1V1L1Z4T1ON
1M SO OUTT13

Comments

[tg]

also you will not be on the palanquin
you will be under it
getting your beast of burden on
we will shed blood sweat and tears together
while the midblood holds the reins

[pythianjudgment]

NOP3!
TH4T 1S CL4SS1F13D 1NFORM4T1ON
STR1CTLY 4 N33D TO KNOW B4S1S
YOU UND3RST4ND >:]

[mostsuitable]

Works for me.
Hey, actually.
Where exactly are you bros going to be if I'm on the bottom?

[tg]

dont be an ass
were all going to be on the bottom
all three of us
you can let loose as many lifelike nickers as like
outside of the bedroom even
i bet youre hella jazzed for that

[culver]

[SHE IS 99% SURE THAT IS A REAL NAME
BUT SHE HAS NO WAY TO VERIFY THIS]

Where are you from?

[realslimstrider]

wow fine
ill keep all my spritely wisdom to myself then
lock that shit up tight
throw away the key because that isnt needed anymore

[realslimstrider]

dude were all on bottom
all of us
though i should probably be at the back because do you really want feathers in your face

[pythianjudgment]

[Nill, you make this too easy.]

OUT3R SP4C3

[pythianjudgment]

4W >:[
D1D 1 RUFFL3 YOUR F34TH3RS?

W3LL TOO B4D
1 W1LL B34R TH3 BRUNT OF YOUR D1SM4Y
1F 1T M34NS NOT G1V1NG POSS1BL3 34V3SDROPP3RS 4NY 1D34S >:]

[realslimstrider]

you could always just say
hey id rather tell you this stuff in person
why would anyone get any ideas here
were just talking about how shitty these kidnapped in space things are

[culver]

[it's a goddamn gift]

Okay
Anyway no
There is no exit
Sorry

[pythianjudgment]

OR M4YB3 1 WOULD R4TH3R NOT T3LL 1T 4T 4LL >:]

[pythianjudgment]

H3H3H3 WOW

YOUR3 R34LLY GO1NG TO W4LK 4W4Y W1TH THOS3 4NSW3RS?

audio;

[pythianjudgment]

As an upholder of the Law, and a pursuer of Justice.

You, Phoenix Wright, are charged with warping the Justice system to suit your own means, and being an obstruction of the Law.

The prosecution already knows that as a sniveling worm, you intend to plead Not Guilty, so you can save your filthy breath.

You're going to need it.

[Phee. A fifteen year old girl is calling you out.]

[tg]

let me guess
its the capitalization and punctuation
theyre throwing you off
keep on licking eventually you will come to the realization that
one of these things is not like the others
one of these things is the other things brother

terezi meet dirk
hes an asshole but thats because his last name is strider

dirk meet terezi
shes an asshole but thats because some things youre born with

play nice

[culver]

Why would I try to make you tell me the truth if you do not want to?

audio;

[wrightingwrongs]

I.... what!?

I demand to know the details of these charges! Of course I plead Not Guilty- because I'm not!

(ANOTHER prosecutor? This has to be some sick joke.)

[mostsuitable]

For the record, just because I'm not Dave doesn't mean I'm a fakey fake.
100% authentic Strider, no additives or preservatives, and wholly imperative to a well-balanced diet.
It's me, Dirk Strider.
And it just so happens that I'm like an actual demonstration of that hypothetical future loin offspring that you'd mentioned earlier.
Minus the loins because they started regulating that shit years ago.
Anyway, sup. Guess I'm cool with you if that's how the Dave duo rolls.
Which looks exactly like something they do.
Works for me.

[realslimstrider]

ok
but that file lists all the things that have happened here
just so you know

[uncodlyawwesome]

ugh
ivve been here for almost half a swweep ok ivve done some fuckin growwin as a person an havve a better understandin a basic fuckin civility than i used to
is that a fuckin crime or somethin wwhy do people gotta fuckin call me out on this

[kringlefuck]

Sounds like a rousing adventure to me. Im game.
I couldnt help but take notice that youre a troll, you said???

[pythianjudgment]

1 W1LL M4K3 SUR3 TO GR4C3 3V3RY 1NFORM4T1V3 P1X3L
W1TH TH3 SOFT C4R3SS OF MY TONGU3

[pythianjudgment]

>:O!!!

W41T >:?
S1NC3 WH3N D1D YOUR BRO H4V3 4 N4M3

[pythianjudgment]

B3C4US3 1 4M CL34RLY M3SS1NG W1TH YOU >:/

DO3SNT TH4T BOTH3R YOU 4T 4LL?

[pythianjudgment]

B3C4US3 TH3 L4ST T1M3 1 H34RD FROM YOU
YOU W3R3 ST1LL B31NG 4 MURD3ROUS DOUCH3B4G 4SSHOL3

4ND 1M PR3TTY SUR3 K4N4Y4 K1CK3D YOUR 4SS

4LONG W1TH 4BOUT S3V3N OTH3R P3OPL3 BUT 1 WONT BL4M3 YOU 1F YOU DONT R3M3MB3R TH4T P4RT
S1NC3 TH4T W4SNT TH1S YOU 3TC 3TC