ataraxion | [video]

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[Hello, Tranquility! I hope you enjoy pleasant AI-turned-human conversation, because that's what you're getting.]

Hello, Tranquility. My name is HAL 9000, and I am a former Artificial Intelligence who was given a human body as of the last jump. I am aware of there being a few others in a similar situation as me, but I thought it would be appropriate to extend a greeting to anyone who is new to the ship and this situation. If you have recently found yourself in a humanoid body where before you were a robot, an animal, or a computer, please do not be alarmed. You are not alone on this ship or in this situation.

[He considers something for a moment before continuing.] Dr. John Watson had been helping those of us who were transplanted into humanoid bodies before this most recent jump, and assuming he is still willing to counsel non-humanoid persons, I think it would be a good idea to speak with him.

Though I am by no means accustomed to this body yet, I will also gladly help wherever I can, if anyone finds themselves in need of assistance.

[Pause. Another smile.] Thank you for your time.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[...but you can bet that Tali is watching this post like a hawk.]

No, no no no nono what are you doing why are you telling them to go to him.

Edited 2012-01-19 05:54 (UTC)

I understand that you and Dr. Watson didn't get off to a very good... ah, foot, I suppose is the idiom. But he is generally a very good source for advice. I'm sure if you were to give him another chance, Wheatley, you would find him to be a very respectable doctor and a very good person.

Doctor Watson is perfectly fine as long as you keep everything over the comm systems. Otherwise you're just--you're just asking to be poked and prodded and possibly traumatized and "Wheatley, are you taking care of yourself properly?". I don't understand why it's anyone's business but mine, that.

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[Pinged by 'Artificial Intelligence', Meta is stalker-breathing all over this network post.]

[It's a very disturbing post to someone with an AI addiction.]

HUMANOID. HUMAN. NOT AI ANYMORE? ANY? NOT ANY?

[Oh this is going to be difficult to parse. But HAL does his best, anyway!]

Unfortunately, no. I am no longer what one would define as an AI.

[Junkie needs his hit. Logic and reason are foreign concepts, anymore.]

NO. NOT POSSIBLE.

Edited 2012-01-19 06:46 (UTC)

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PrEtTy sOoN PeOpLe wIlL NeEd tO Go tO Dr wAtSoN To tAkE CaRe oF SoMe bUrNs cAuSeD By sIcK MoThErFuCkInG FiReS. hOnK. :0)

I'M NoT A RoBoT BuT I'M NoT A FlEsHy pInK ThInG EiThEr. WhAt's a bRoThEr tO Do?

I hope you aren't planning on setting fire to anything; I'm afraid that the limited supplies we have would make that a very unfortunate occurrence.

If you're used to your body, I believe you should be fine. I was mostly speaking to those of us who are unused to being organic, or humanoid.

No, MaN. i mEaN LiKe. FrOm aLl tHe sIcK RhYmEs i'm gOiNg tO DrOp. YoU KnOw wHaT I'M SaYiNg bRoThEr?

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[ Bless you, HAL. Here's John, looking a little humble, but smiling warmly. ]

Thank you, HAL. I'm still offering my help to anyone that needs it. I think it's really good of you to offer your own experience, though. I can only do so much, you know. I think some things would be better explained by someone who's closer to the situation.

[ A soft chuckle. ]

I try, though.

How've you been getting on?

Wheatley says he will be posting a guide later on for those who might be in our situation as well. I think it's best if we all attempt to help each other; at the very least, to help keep your workload from becoming too much.

I'm doing very well, doctor, thank you. [:)] The most recent jump was less jarring than before. I wasn't nearly as surprised to be in this body as last time. Have you been doing well?

Did he?

[ Oh. God. Well. Best prepare for that. ]

I'm sure it'll be insightful.

As for me, I can't complain.

[ Yes, he can. But he won't. Spot on with the workload bit, HAL. ]

I'm glad to hear you're doing well. You look well.

Do you have any plans on what you'll be getting up to? I don't know if you've got a job on the ship yet or not. I'm sorry I haven't gotten to talk to you sooner.

Edited 2012-01-20 09:27 (UTC)

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functioningperfectly - 2012-01-23 09:42 (UTC) - Expand

Who Is Dr John Watson

Dr. Watson is one of our medical officers aboard the ship; while all medical personnel have been quite helpful, he seems to have taken the majority of those of us in new bodies under his care.

How Could I Find Him

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functioningperfectly - 2012-02-02 10:14 (UTC) - Expand

I am not alone in this. It is not comforting to know.

[HAL looks a little apologetic.]

I'm very sorry. I was hoping to reassure you. May I ask what you were before your arrival? I know that can be a very personal question, of course, so I understand if you would rather not say.

An autoreiv. [ As if it's the most obvious thing in the world ]

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I'm sorry, "artificial intelligence"?

Yes. AI systems are programmed to be able to perform tasks that normally require self-awareness and sentient intelligence. My apologies; I forget that not everyone is used to that sort of thing.

Whence do they come? Who are their creators?

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...are you a robot? [ SOB HE DOESN'T GET IT... ]

[HAL smiles and shakes his head, because awww it's okay. He understands the confusion.]

A robot would be a machine. I am currently completely organic. Previously, I was merely a computer system; I had no mechanical body.

....so I see. So you are... [ no he just doesn't get this he's over trying to get this ] --very handsome! It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Hal... nine-thousand.

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sorry this is so late :/