[video]

[functioningperfectly]

[Hello, Tranquility! I hope you enjoy pleasant AI-turned-human conversation, because that's what you're getting.]

Hello, Tranquility. My name is HAL 9000, and I am a former Artificial Intelligence who was given a human body as of the last jump. I am aware of there being a few others in a similar situation as me, but I thought it would be appropriate to extend a greeting to anyone who is new to the ship and this situation. If you have recently found yourself in a humanoid body where before you were a robot, an animal, or a computer, please do not be alarmed. You are not alone on this ship or in this situation.

[He considers something for a moment before continuing.] Dr. John Watson had been helping those of us who were transplanted into humanoid bodies before this most recent jump, and assuming he is still willing to counsel non-humanoid persons, I think it would be a good idea to speak with him.

Though I am by no means accustomed to this body yet, I will also gladly help wherever I can, if anyone finds themselves in need of assistance.

[Pause. Another smile.] Thank you for your time.

Comments

[text]

[lovesfaygo]

PrEtTy sOoN PeOpLe wIlL NeEd tO Go tO Dr wAtSoN To tAkE CaRe oF SoMe bUrNs cAuSeD By sIcK MoThErFuCkInG FiReS. hOnK. :0)

I'M NoT A RoBoT BuT I'M NoT A FlEsHy pInK ThInG EiThEr. WhAt's a bRoThEr tO Do?

[video forever since he can't type...]

[functioningperfectly]

I hope you aren't planning on setting fire to anything; I'm afraid that the limited supplies we have would make that a very unfortunate occurrence.

If you're used to your body, I believe you should be fine. I was mostly speaking to those of us who are unused to being organic, or humanoid.

[text]

[lovesfaygo]

No, MaN. i mEaN LiKe. FrOm aLl tHe sIcK RhYmEs i'm gOiNg tO DrOp. YoU KnOw wHaT I'M SaYiNg bRoThEr?

[functioningperfectly]

[HAL looks positively bemused, but incredibly curious. You're speaking about such interesting things, Gamzee!]

No, I'm afraid I don't know.

[text]

[lovesfaygo]

Oh, MaN. tHeN We hAvE To mEeT Up sO I CaN ShOw yOu hOw tO KiCk iT. wE CaN EaT PiE. i hAvE SoMe mOtHeRfUcKiNg pIe lEfT OvEr.

[functioningperfectly]

[HA HA HA HA can Gamzee tell that HAL is completely and utterly lost in this conversation?]

That could be very interesting. [HAL just likes to make new friends ok...]

[text forever]

[lovesfaygo]

YeAh, BrOtHeR. wE CaN GeT OuR MoThErFuCkInG ChIlL On tOgEtHeR!

[functioningperfectly]

[SMILE SMILE SMILE I'M UTTERLY LOST BUT PLEASE DO GO ON GAMZEE]

You'll have to explain what "chilling" involves, I'm afraid, but I do enjoy trying new things. Maybe some time later on today?

[lovesfaygo]

AwWwWwWwWwWwWh yEaAaAaH MoThErFuCkEr.