video ★ 004

[herocomplex]

[ Fair warning, this alien is rather foul mouthed. He only mimics what he has learned from America. ]

Fucking. Fucking. Fuck.

_{[ This is heard telepathically to all watching the video, followed by some tongue clicking as he turns the device on.
Hi Ataraxion. Have +1 grey alien leaning into the communicator and holding it a bit lopsided at first before pulling the communicator away from him and setting it on a hard surface. He crouches down so he's in the camera view again before beginning to eat form a back of chips. ]}

Ahh, fucking. It seems we have to go through this process a whole fucking lot! Mmmmm, negative feelings towards this. It would be nice to fucking go home. Working on that for all of you; that is what my bro America says.

_{[ ANOTHER POTATO CHIP IN THE MOUTH. He seems to be in America's room, but there is no America. ]}

Hmmm. There are new arrivals. I am speaking on behalf of America since he is busy at the moment. My name is Mr. Tony, or Tony-bro if you are fucking tight. We should be fucking rad together.

Mr. America requests that those NATIONS aboard this fucking ship take the time to fill out a fucking form for the next fucking world meeting he is fucking arranging and fucking text it back. This will clear up any fucking confusion in fucking advance, hmmm. Possibly prevent a fucking death threat....unlike last time. This will happen every time a fucking jump occurs.
The date for the next fucking meeting is to be announced at a later fucking time, my friends.

<b>HUMAN NAME:</b><br /><br /><b>COUNTRY NAME / REPRESENTATIVE:</b><br /><br /><b>LANGUAGE(S):</b><br /><br /><b>DO YOU HAVE A DICK OR TITS:</b><br /><br /><b>WHAT YEAR IS IT:</b><br /><br /><b>HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AFFILIATED WITH THE SOVIET UNION:</b><br /><br /><b>HAVE YOU CONSIDERED BEING APART OF THE SOVIET UNION BEFORE IT FELL:</b><br /><br /><b>DO YOU WISH THE SOVIET UNION WAS STILL TOGETHER:</b><br /><br /><b>ARE YOU A COMMUNIST:</b><br /><br /><b>IF NOT, WHAT TYPE IS YOUR GOVERNMENT:</b><br /><br /><b>DO YOU SPELL WORDS WITH A "U" IN THEM FOR NO REASON (exp: colour, harbour):</b><br /><br /><b>TEA OR COFFEE:</b><br /><br /><b>ARE YOU IN HEAVY DEBT:</b><br /><br /><b>DOES MR. AMERICA CURRENTLY OWE YOU ANYTHING:</b><br /><br /><b>ARE YOU AN AXIS POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE AXIS POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH):</b><br /><br /><b>ARE YOU AN ALLIED POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE ALLIED POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH):</b><br /><br /><b>ARE YOU NEUTRAL OR PREFER NEUTRALITY ACCORDING TO YOUR HISTORY:</b><br /><br /><b>DO YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF HOSTILITY TOWARDS CAPITALISM, AMERICANS, MR. AMERICA, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, HAMBURGERS AND/OR RONALD MCDONALD OR THE FACT AMERICA WAS THE FIRST ON THE MOON:</b><br /><br /><b>WHO WON THE COLD WAR:</b><br /><br /><b>DO YOU HATE ENGLAND, OR ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH ENGLISHMEN (exp: big brows, bad cooking, tophats, monocles):</b><br /><br /><b>IS MR. AMERICA YOUR HERO OR HAS AIDED YOU IN THE PAST WHICH YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR:</b><br /><br /><b>IF NOT, DO YOU WISH HE WAS YOUR HERO:</b> <br /><br /><b>CAN HE BE YOUR FRIEND:</b>


As for the rest of you, if you have any fucking questions that have to fucking do with Earth, fucking humans or fucking embodiments of fucking nations, contact us and we will be fucking happy to fill you in on how they behave, their diets, mannerisms, and any fucking thing else you may be fucking curious about.

[ CUE A THUMBS UP before the feed cuts. Though, the sound of a chainsaw revving up is in the background before silence]

Comments

[herocomplex]

That sounds MONDO INTENSE. AND SO COOL.
I can get Austria to make that for us!

[zoosmell]

it is foolish to think anyone can make it, but they can certainly try...
but the people of fuckasslandia don't take to NORMAL cakes.
they have seen too many cakes in their lifetime.
in our land, the motto is "let them have no more cake."

[herocomplex]

---So do you want cake or not?
It sounds like a civil war might take place over all of this cake talk, man!

[zoosmell]

i guess no cake would be simpler.
and no betty crocker type of foods, either!
also can i bring my friends or is it a nation only thing, because i would understand.

[herocomplex]

Only nation-y thingies preferred, sorry.
You can take refreshments to them though.

But not too much. Sharing is communism.

[zoosmell]

ok, sure.
my lips are sealed! [ except for the part where he tries to smuggle dave in under his coat nobody will notice ]

is there a dress code or anything?

[herocomplex]

Well, considering we don't really have other clothes here--!
Just be dressed.

And don't be surprised if France shows up and he's not dressed.

[zoosmell]

that is something i really don't want to see, thanks!
i am glad it is not a black tie occasion, though.
i do not have any black ties.