ataraxion | video ★ 004

[ Fair warning, this alien is rather foul mouthed. He only mimics what he has learned from America. ]

Fucking. Fucking. Fuck.

_{[ This is heard telepathically to all watching the video, followed by some tongue clicking as he turns the device on.
Hi Ataraxion. Have +1 grey alien leaning into the communicator and holding it a bit lopsided at first before pulling the communicator away from him and setting it on a hard surface. He crouches down so he's in the camera view again before beginning to eat form a back of chips. ]}

Ahh, fucking. It seems we have to go through this process a whole fucking lot! Mmmmm, negative feelings towards this. It would be nice to fucking go home. Working on that for all of you; that is what my bro America says.

_{[ ANOTHER POTATO CHIP IN THE MOUTH. He seems to be in America's room, but there is no America. ]}

Hmmm. There are new arrivals. I am speaking on behalf of America since he is busy at the moment. My name is Mr. Tony, or Tony-bro if you are fucking tight. We should be fucking rad together.

Mr. America requests that those NATIONS aboard this fucking ship take the time to fill out a fucking form for the next fucking world meeting he is fucking arranging and fucking text it back. This will clear up any fucking confusion in fucking advance, hmmm. Possibly prevent a fucking death threat....unlike last time. This will happen every time a fucking jump occurs.
The date for the next fucking meeting is to be announced at a later fucking time, my friends.

HUMAN NAME: COUNTRY NAME / REPRESENTATIVE: LANGUAGE(S): DO YOU HAVE A DICK OR TITS: WHAT YEAR IS IT: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AFFILIATED WITH THE SOVIET UNION: HAVE YOU CONSIDERED BEING APART OF THE SOVIET UNION BEFORE IT FELL: DO YOU WISH THE SOVIET UNION WAS STILL TOGETHER: ARE YOU A COMMUNIST: IF NOT, WHAT TYPE IS YOUR GOVERNMENT: DO YOU SPELL WORDS WITH A "U" IN THEM FOR NO REASON (exp: colour, harbour): TEA OR COFFEE: ARE YOU IN HEAVY DEBT: DOES MR. AMERICA CURRENTLY OWE YOU ANYTHING: ARE YOU AN AXIS POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE AXIS POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): ARE YOU AN ALLIED POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE ALLIED POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): ARE YOU NEUTRAL OR PREFER NEUTRALITY ACCORDING TO YOUR HISTORY: DO YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF HOSTILITY TOWARDS CAPITALISM, AMERICANS, MR. AMERICA, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, HAMBURGERS AND/OR RONALD MCDONALD OR THE FACT AMERICA WAS THE FIRST ON THE MOON: WHO WON THE COLD WAR: DO YOU HATE ENGLAND, OR ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH ENGLISHMEN (exp: big brows, bad cooking, tophats, monocles): IS MR. AMERICA YOUR HERO OR HAS AIDED YOU IN THE PAST WHICH YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR: IF NOT, DO YOU WISH HE WAS YOUR HERO: CAN HE BE YOUR FRIEND:

As for the rest of you, if you have any fucking questions that have to fucking do with Earth, fucking humans or fucking embodiments of fucking nations, contact us and we will be fucking happy to fill you in on how they behave, their diets, mannerisms, and any fucking thing else you may be fucking curious about.

[ CUE A THUMBS UP before the feed cuts. Though, the sound of a chainsaw revving up is in the background before silence]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That's okay, man! I understand! I probably would shoot somebody's face off with a 375 Sig if they took me by surprise! Phew, it's a good thing I wasn't armed when we ran into each other!

Right! So the other gray guy I talked to wasn't much help. He was just like...

_{[ oh he even is mimicking Eridan. ]}

Wwhatevver.

What's his problem? He seems like he has a stick up his ass like England!

Out of all of us, I sure wouldn't have chosen Ampurra as our representative. He's got quit a few purroblems. But don't tell him I said that.

From what I understand, your planet or whatever.. it.. doesn't exist anymore?
And you guys are called trolls.

You don't seem really threatening like aliens from sci-fi movies or anything.
In fact! You're kinda cute!

[ She laughs, flushing (green) a bit. ] Um, thanks! I dunno about movies, but I purromise that I'm not a mean alien.

You're right about both parts. Our planet was called Alternia, but it was destroyed by meteors in The Reckoning. Which is... well, it's kinda a long story! And I'm definitely troll. It's just what we're called!

That's so cool!!! You guys are friendly! I like that! It's like E.T.
Oh man, that movie made me cry!

Well, you can call me Alfred or America! I'm one of the nations around here; so if you have any questions about them, I can give you the honest truth about every single one of them!

[ Nepeta looks briefly confused at the E.T. comment. She doesn't press it, but she makes a mental note to never make him cry!!! ]

Okay Alfurred! I'm Nepeta! I think the only question I really have is... how does that work? Being a purrson and a whole bunch of people, I mean.

SUP NEPETA.

Hm, well!
I could say the answer to that is simply 42, but that British humor, so noooo.

The answer the everything the American way is: CAPITALISM.
That is how!

I don't get it...

video ★ 004

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