ataraxion | video ★ 004

[ Fair warning, this alien is rather foul mouthed. He only mimics what he has learned from America. ]

Fucking. Fucking. Fuck.

_{[ This is heard telepathically to all watching the video, followed by some tongue clicking as he turns the device on.
Hi Ataraxion. Have +1 grey alien leaning into the communicator and holding it a bit lopsided at first before pulling the communicator away from him and setting it on a hard surface. He crouches down so he's in the camera view again before beginning to eat form a back of chips. ]}

Ahh, fucking. It seems we have to go through this process a whole fucking lot! Mmmmm, negative feelings towards this. It would be nice to fucking go home. Working on that for all of you; that is what my bro America says.

_{[ ANOTHER POTATO CHIP IN THE MOUTH. He seems to be in America's room, but there is no America. ]}

Hmmm. There are new arrivals. I am speaking on behalf of America since he is busy at the moment. My name is Mr. Tony, or Tony-bro if you are fucking tight. We should be fucking rad together.

Mr. America requests that those NATIONS aboard this fucking ship take the time to fill out a fucking form for the next fucking world meeting he is fucking arranging and fucking text it back. This will clear up any fucking confusion in fucking advance, hmmm. Possibly prevent a fucking death threat....unlike last time. This will happen every time a fucking jump occurs.
The date for the next fucking meeting is to be announced at a later fucking time, my friends.

HUMAN NAME: COUNTRY NAME / REPRESENTATIVE: LANGUAGE(S): DO YOU HAVE A DICK OR TITS: WHAT YEAR IS IT: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AFFILIATED WITH THE SOVIET UNION: HAVE YOU CONSIDERED BEING APART OF THE SOVIET UNION BEFORE IT FELL: DO YOU WISH THE SOVIET UNION WAS STILL TOGETHER: ARE YOU A COMMUNIST: IF NOT, WHAT TYPE IS YOUR GOVERNMENT: DO YOU SPELL WORDS WITH A "U" IN THEM FOR NO REASON (exp: colour, harbour): TEA OR COFFEE: ARE YOU IN HEAVY DEBT: DOES MR. AMERICA CURRENTLY OWE YOU ANYTHING: ARE YOU AN AXIS POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE AXIS POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): ARE YOU AN ALLIED POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE ALLIED POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): ARE YOU NEUTRAL OR PREFER NEUTRALITY ACCORDING TO YOUR HISTORY: DO YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF HOSTILITY TOWARDS CAPITALISM, AMERICANS, MR. AMERICA, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, HAMBURGERS AND/OR RONALD MCDONALD OR THE FACT AMERICA WAS THE FIRST ON THE MOON: WHO WON THE COLD WAR: DO YOU HATE ENGLAND, OR ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH ENGLISHMEN (exp: big brows, bad cooking, tophats, monocles): IS MR. AMERICA YOUR HERO OR HAS AIDED YOU IN THE PAST WHICH YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR: IF NOT, DO YOU WISH HE WAS YOUR HERO: CAN HE BE YOUR FRIEND:

As for the rest of you, if you have any fucking questions that have to fucking do with Earth, fucking humans or fucking embodiments of fucking nations, contact us and we will be fucking happy to fill you in on how they behave, their diets, mannerisms, and any fucking thing else you may be fucking curious about.

[ CUE A THUMBS UP before the feed cuts. Though, the sound of a chainsaw revving up is in the background before silence]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[This is sent a minute later, anyway.]

HUMAN NAME: -

COUNTRY NAME / REPRESENTATIVE: The Netherlands

LANGUAGE(S): Dutch, Frisian if you mean official ones

DO YOU HAVE A DICK OR TITS: Dick

WHAT YEAR IS IT: Hell if I know

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AFFILIATED WITH THE SOVIET UNION: No

HAVE YOU CONSIDERED BEING APART OF THE SOVIET UNION BEFORE IT FELL: No

DO YOU WISH THE SOVIET UNION WAS STILL TOGETHER: Don't care

ARE YOU A COMMUNIST: No

IF NOT, WHAT TYPE IS YOUR GOVERNMENT: Constitutional Monarchy

DO YOU SPELL WORDS WITH A "U" IN THEM FOR NO REASON (exp: colour, harbour): There's a reason. Umlauts are dumb

TEA OR COFFEE: Both

ARE YOU IN HEAVY DEBT: Not as screwed as Spain

DOES MR. AMERICA CURRENTLY OWE YOU ANYTHING: My time back

ARE YOU AN AXIS POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE AXIS POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): No

ARE YOU AN ALLIED POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE ALLIED POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): No

ARE YOU NEUTRAL OR PREFER NEUTRALITY ACCORDING TO YOUR HISTORY: Yes

[Here's where he starts skipping things.]

DO YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF HOSTILITY TOWARDS CAPITALISM, AMERICANS, MR. AMERICA, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, HAMBURGERS AND/OR RONALD MCDONALD OR THE FACT AMERICA WAS THE FIRST ON THE MOON:

WHO WON THE COLD WAR:

DO YOU HATE ENGLAND, OR ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH ENGLISHMEN (exp: big brows, bad cooking, tophats, monocles): His navy

IS MR. AMERICA YOUR HERO OR HAS AIDED YOU IN THE PAST WHICH YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR: Your brother did a better job

IF NOT, DO YOU WISH HE WAS YOUR HERO:

CAN HE BE YOUR FRIEND:

Edited 2012-01-20 06:16 (UTC)

_{[ And here's where America butts in after looking over the application. ]}

Woah woah WOAHHHH.
NETHERLANDS, DUDE.
WHEN DID YOU GET HERE, MAN?????

Look, I know it's weird, but you don't know the year at all??? I mean, what year is it you last remember or something? That is REALLY REALLY important!!!!

[He really hates typing on those devices, so he switches to voice with a small grunt as a "hello".]

Dunno, it's hard t'tell time here. Couple days or somethin'.

[America might hear a small, annoyed huff.]

Last I remember I wasn't in a different universe or some shit.

_{[ ...
hold the phone.

THIS IS SOMETHING NEW.. KIND OF. ]}

Somewhere new---!?
OMG. DUDE. YOU HAVE TO DESCRIBE IT TO ME.

[What.]

I'm in the same place you are, moron.

_{[ OH RIGHT. ]}

Sometimes people come from different universes!!
So can you at least tell me what year you remember it as???

[OW. HIS EARS.]

Jesus -

[He's gonna back away a little, America why are you so loud man.]

I noticed. [Sigh.] It was 2012 for me, dunno what it is here.

--Like early 2012 or the future??
...
HOLY SHIT ARE WE ALL STILL EXISTING THEN?

Early 2012.

An' ya didn't answer me.

[Because yes according to him he totally asked a question.]

---There was a question in there?

And oh, great! Nothing too awkward then! Thanks a lot, that's important!

Yeah, I wanna know what year it is here.

[He'll just sort of nod at that, forgetting America can't see it.]

video ★ 004

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