video ★ 004

[herocomplex]

[ Fair warning, this alien is rather foul mouthed. He only mimics what he has learned from America. ]

Fucking. Fucking. Fuck.

_{[ This is heard telepathically to all watching the video, followed by some tongue clicking as he turns the device on.
Hi Ataraxion. Have +1 grey alien leaning into the communicator and holding it a bit lopsided at first before pulling the communicator away from him and setting it on a hard surface. He crouches down so he's in the camera view again before beginning to eat form a back of chips. ]}

Ahh, fucking. It seems we have to go through this process a whole fucking lot! Mmmmm, negative feelings towards this. It would be nice to fucking go home. Working on that for all of you; that is what my bro America says.

_{[ ANOTHER POTATO CHIP IN THE MOUTH. He seems to be in America's room, but there is no America. ]}

Hmmm. There are new arrivals. I am speaking on behalf of America since he is busy at the moment. My name is Mr. Tony, or Tony-bro if you are fucking tight. We should be fucking rad together.

Mr. America requests that those NATIONS aboard this fucking ship take the time to fill out a fucking form for the next fucking world meeting he is fucking arranging and fucking text it back. This will clear up any fucking confusion in fucking advance, hmmm. Possibly prevent a fucking death threat....unlike last time. This will happen every time a fucking jump occurs.
The date for the next fucking meeting is to be announced at a later fucking time, my friends.

<b>HUMAN NAME:</b><br /><br /><b>COUNTRY NAME / REPRESENTATIVE:</b><br /><br /><b>LANGUAGE(S):</b><br /><br /><b>DO YOU HAVE A DICK OR TITS:</b><br /><br /><b>WHAT YEAR IS IT:</b><br /><br /><b>HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AFFILIATED WITH THE SOVIET UNION:</b><br /><br /><b>HAVE YOU CONSIDERED BEING APART OF THE SOVIET UNION BEFORE IT FELL:</b><br /><br /><b>DO YOU WISH THE SOVIET UNION WAS STILL TOGETHER:</b><br /><br /><b>ARE YOU A COMMUNIST:</b><br /><br /><b>IF NOT, WHAT TYPE IS YOUR GOVERNMENT:</b><br /><br /><b>DO YOU SPELL WORDS WITH A "U" IN THEM FOR NO REASON (exp: colour, harbour):</b><br /><br /><b>TEA OR COFFEE:</b><br /><br /><b>ARE YOU IN HEAVY DEBT:</b><br /><br /><b>DOES MR. AMERICA CURRENTLY OWE YOU ANYTHING:</b><br /><br /><b>ARE YOU AN AXIS POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE AXIS POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH):</b><br /><br /><b>ARE YOU AN ALLIED POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE ALLIED POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH):</b><br /><br /><b>ARE YOU NEUTRAL OR PREFER NEUTRALITY ACCORDING TO YOUR HISTORY:</b><br /><br /><b>DO YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF HOSTILITY TOWARDS CAPITALISM, AMERICANS, MR. AMERICA, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, HAMBURGERS AND/OR RONALD MCDONALD OR THE FACT AMERICA WAS THE FIRST ON THE MOON:</b><br /><br /><b>WHO WON THE COLD WAR:</b><br /><br /><b>DO YOU HATE ENGLAND, OR ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH ENGLISHMEN (exp: big brows, bad cooking, tophats, monocles):</b><br /><br /><b>IS MR. AMERICA YOUR HERO OR HAS AIDED YOU IN THE PAST WHICH YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR:</b><br /><br /><b>IF NOT, DO YOU WISH HE WAS YOUR HERO:</b> <br /><br /><b>CAN HE BE YOUR FRIEND:</b>


As for the rest of you, if you have any fucking questions that have to fucking do with Earth, fucking humans or fucking embodiments of fucking nations, contact us and we will be fucking happy to fill you in on how they behave, their diets, mannerisms, and any fucking thing else you may be fucking curious about.

[ CUE A THUMBS UP before the feed cuts. Though, the sound of a chainsaw revving up is in the background before silence]

Comments

DONE.

[herocomplex]

LOOKS LIKE I'M THE FIRST ONE INTO SPACE THIS TIME, HUH.


HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAA.

<sub>[ yeah.

YEAH THAT'S GOOD..... ]</sub>

Baby let me hold you<3 Also, 1/?

[za_rodina]

[Just, going to blankly stare. Forever.]

2/4

[za_rodina]

[Okay, how does one properly respond to this poorly expressed attempt of one upmanship?

Wait, what exactly was that he said?]

3/4

[za_rodina]

[First in space this time?


Well.


Obviously this is America's fault then!]

Done~

[za_rodina]

What have you done, America.

1/???

[herocomplex]

<sub>[ GOD.
DAM.

MIT. ]</sub>

2/3.

[herocomplex]

That's just like you, huh. Blaming it on the other one, right? Hahhahaa, real mature there, Mr. Commiedick.

_{[ --commiedick. these insults are getting horrible. ]}

3/3.

[herocomplex]

---







So what have you done, man.
I want answers now.

1/2

[za_rodina]

[Going to take a moment to fully appreciate the degrading childishness of that insult.]

2/2

[za_rodina]

[Okay, done.]

What are you talking about? I didn't do anything. You're the one who's boasting about being the first into space and passing out interrogation sheets.

[herocomplex]

They're not interrogation sheets!! They're for my SAFETY and we're keeping it on file so when I take the responsibility to host these world meetings so we kind of know what to expect!

Duh!

I nearly, like, DIED from the last meeting!

You too busy plotting behind the curtain to witness that!

[za_rodina]

I am not seeing this curtain I was supposedly plotting behind. Nor am I understanding why I'm the one being blamed for something that looks like it's straight out of one of your movies.

Which prompts me to ask again, what did you do?

[herocomplex]

BECAUSE YOU'RE A DICK.

And everyone here thinks it's your fault anyway--!!

_{[ A pause. ]}

By the way, Belarus is here and she wants to sleep with me.

[za_rodina]

Well of course they would, every one blames Russia, da?

[Eye roll, he's totally used to this, man.]

Wait. Belarus? Wanting to sleep with you?



If I hadn't thought this place crazy now I am doing so.

[herocomplex]

Yeahhhhhhh.

Your sister is hot though, man. I've told you that before.

[za_rodina]

Have you? I don't really seem to recall you telling me that.