ataraxion | video ★ 004

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video ★ 004

[ Fair warning, this alien is rather foul mouthed. He only mimics what he has learned from America. ]

Fucking. Fucking. Fuck.

_{[ This is heard telepathically to all watching the video, followed by some tongue clicking as he turns the device on.
Hi Ataraxion. Have +1 grey alien leaning into the communicator and holding it a bit lopsided at first before pulling the communicator away from him and setting it on a hard surface. He crouches down so he's in the camera view again before beginning to eat form a back of chips. ]}

Ahh, fucking. It seems we have to go through this process a whole fucking lot! Mmmmm, negative feelings towards this. It would be nice to fucking go home. Working on that for all of you; that is what my bro America says.

_{[ ANOTHER POTATO CHIP IN THE MOUTH. He seems to be in America's room, but there is no America. ]}

Hmmm. There are new arrivals. I am speaking on behalf of America since he is busy at the moment. My name is Mr. Tony, or Tony-bro if you are fucking tight. We should be fucking rad together.

Mr. America requests that those NATIONS aboard this fucking ship take the time to fill out a fucking form for the next fucking world meeting he is fucking arranging and fucking text it back. This will clear up any fucking confusion in fucking advance, hmmm. Possibly prevent a fucking death threat....unlike last time. This will happen every time a fucking jump occurs.
The date for the next fucking meeting is to be announced at a later fucking time, my friends.

HUMAN NAME: COUNTRY NAME / REPRESENTATIVE: LANGUAGE(S): DO YOU HAVE A DICK OR TITS: WHAT YEAR IS IT: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AFFILIATED WITH THE SOVIET UNION: HAVE YOU CONSIDERED BEING APART OF THE SOVIET UNION BEFORE IT FELL: DO YOU WISH THE SOVIET UNION WAS STILL TOGETHER: ARE YOU A COMMUNIST: IF NOT, WHAT TYPE IS YOUR GOVERNMENT: DO YOU SPELL WORDS WITH A "U" IN THEM FOR NO REASON (exp: colour, harbour): TEA OR COFFEE: ARE YOU IN HEAVY DEBT: DOES MR. AMERICA CURRENTLY OWE YOU ANYTHING: ARE YOU AN AXIS POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE AXIS POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): ARE YOU AN ALLIED POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE ALLIED POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): ARE YOU NEUTRAL OR PREFER NEUTRALITY ACCORDING TO YOUR HISTORY: DO YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF HOSTILITY TOWARDS CAPITALISM, AMERICANS, MR. AMERICA, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, HAMBURGERS AND/OR RONALD MCDONALD OR THE FACT AMERICA WAS THE FIRST ON THE MOON: WHO WON THE COLD WAR: DO YOU HATE ENGLAND, OR ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH ENGLISHMEN (exp: big brows, bad cooking, tophats, monocles): IS MR. AMERICA YOUR HERO OR HAS AIDED YOU IN THE PAST WHICH YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR: IF NOT, DO YOU WISH HE WAS YOUR HERO: CAN HE BE YOUR FRIEND:

As for the rest of you, if you have any fucking questions that have to fucking do with Earth, fucking humans or fucking embodiments of fucking nations, contact us and we will be fucking happy to fill you in on how they behave, their diets, mannerisms, and any fucking thing else you may be fucking curious about.

[ CUE A THUMBS UP before the feed cuts. Though, the sound of a chainsaw revving up is in the background before silence]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He actually starts filling this out, pauses, and has to stop out of embarrassment.]

This is Japan. Surely that is enough to mention.

Not fucking enough.
If you do not do this, I will fucking burn your eyes out of their fucking sockets.
In the most polite way since you are a fucking friend.

[SHOCK.]

...Ah... One moment, please.

HUMAN NAME: Kiku Honda
COUNTRY NAME / REPRESENTATIVE: The State of Japan
LANGUAGE(S): Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Tagalog, Portugese, English... Must I list all that I can recall?
DO YOU HAVE A DICK OR TITS: ...Male.
WHAT YEAR IS IT: 2012.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AFFILIATED WITH THE SOVIET UNION: No.
HAVE YOU CONSIDERED BEING APART OF THE SOVIET UNION BEFORE IT FELL: No...
DO YOU WISH THE SOVIET UNION WAS STILL TOGETHER: ...No.
ARE YOU A COMMUNIST: No.
IF NOT, WHAT TYPE IS YOUR GOVERNMENT: Constitutional Monarchy.
DO YOU SPELL WORDS WITH A "U" IN THEM FOR NO REASON (exp: colour, harbour): Please recall that not all languages share your alphabet, America-san.
TEA OR COFFEE: Tea.
ARE YOU IN HEAVY DEBT: ...No comment.
DOES MR. AMERICA CURRENTLY OWE YOU ANYTHING: Yes...
ARE YOU AN AXIS POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE AXIS POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): I used to be.
ARE YOU AN ALLIED POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE ALLIED POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): Does America-san truly have to ask these questions after knowing my name?
ARE YOU NEUTRAL OR PREFER NEUTRALITY ACCORDING TO YOUR HISTORY: ...
DO YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF HOSTILITY TOWARDS CAPITALISM, AMERICANS, MR. AMERICA, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, HAMBURGERS AND/OR RONALD MCDONALD OR THE FACT AMERICA WAS THE FIRST ON THE MOON: There is no hostility.
WHO WON THE COLD WAR: What sort of question is this...
DO YOU HATE ENGLAND, OR ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH ENGLISHMEN (exp: big brows, bad cooking, tophats, monocles): How rude!
IS MR. AMERICA YOUR HERO OR HAS AIDED YOU IN THE PAST WHICH YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR: ...He has helped me, yes.
IF NOT, DO YOU WISH HE WAS YOUR HERO: ...
CAN HE BE YOUR FRIEND: We are friends.

A lot of fucking no's. A typical fucking response from th Japanese.

_{[ At that, the chainsaw noise gets louder than it stops. America quickly runs over and ducks into the camera view. ]}

---Hey JAPAN--!! Hey man! How are you hanging--! Have you settled in nicely??

[THAT ALIEN OF YOURS, AMERICA... Japan just stares, and now he's wondering about the chainsaw noises.]

Ahhh... Yes, I have been doing my best to grow accustomed to everything. Is that sound...?

So you're OKAY, right? Like you're fine? People have been helping you out okay?
H.. hahaha, Japan! You should totally visit me whenever you get the chance, I..
I miss you a lot, man!

Oh, that sound is just a chainsaw I'm testing out that I got from the Tansei Station.

I see...

[So it is a chainsaw. Hm.]

I would be glad to visit America-san, though I am not sure what his room number is. ...And I would not wish to interrupt his testing a chainsaw, so perhaps a better date for an appointment should be suggested...

Hahahahaha! Well, you can always come by and see the chainsaw! It's fucking BADASS, man! Space chainsaw, dude! Everything is better when you put space in front of it!

I'd stop messing with the chainsaw to see you in person, though, if that makes you more comfortable..

_{[ aw. ]}

[That comment makes Japan realize something, and his expression even gets a bit softer.]

How long is it that America-san has been here? [And with who, he wonders... He's picking up lonely vibes here. And so he's shuffling some things together on his side, probably considering seeing if now is a good time to visit.]

Uh.
I was one of the first to get here. The place was pretty empty, and now it's filling up with more people.

It feels like it's been about five weeks, but we don't really keep the date here.

I MISSED CHRISTMAS, MAN. CHRISTMAS.

That is rather unfortunate... But I do not understand. I believe I recall that America-san did in fact enjoy Christmas. He called...

[Frowning, he doesn't get it... But addressing the camera again.]

...Is it fine to visit now?

--Yeah! Yeah, you can visit whenever you want; anytime you want! I'll be here to help you, Japan-bro!

My room number is 176! I'll expect ya shortly, okay dude?

176... [He looks thoughtful and then nods.]

Yes, I will be there soon.

HAHAHAA, sweet!
Get your girly ass over here, man!

[B(...]

[He just hangs up after that frown.

But he'll be knocking on the door in ten minutes!]

_{[ America opens the door and THROWS HIS HANDS IN THE AIR. ]}

DUDE.

JAPAAAAAN. BRO.

HOW THE HECK HAVE YOU BEEN MAN!!!

_{[ all the hugs you are getting them. again. ]}

A-a-america-san... [His usual stiff not-sure-what-to-do reaction.]

I have been alright... Ah, may I step inside? [Free him...]

HAHAHA. SURE CAN, MAN.

_{[ And America just lifts Kiku off off his feet and turns around to place him in his room. There, he shuts the door, and just... smiles at Kiku.

just smiling.

It's sort of weird. ]}

Uwah--!

[OH GOSH BEING LIFTED... But now he's staring at America. He's sort of... concerned, buddy.]

Um... How has America-san been?

Oh! You know... fine.
Just really peachy.

_{[ it's sort of a weird tone of voice as he brushes past Japan, organizing some papers that he has all scattered about his room. ]}

America-san... [REALLY WORRIED NOW he sort of just turns to watch him.]

....

_{[ FALLING INTO HIS ARMS DRAMATICALLY, probably like knocking him over. HE CLINGS. ]}

J.. JAPAN. EVERYBODY HERE IS BATSHIT AN I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO IT'S TOO MUCH STRESS MAN TOO MUCH I WANT TO SAVE EVERYBODY BUT I CAN'T....

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