[ second → video ]

[mingus]

[ heeeeey network, have a video of auggie! he's at his desk in the communications office and his headphones are around his neck. the communicator is in his hand and he's looking off to the side, in a sort of spaced out way. which is probably because he's blind. ]

Heeeello, network. Your friendly neighborhood communications team with a tiiiiny bit of an update. As you all know, this ship is ... [ a wave of his hand as he tries to come up with a word before he snaps his fingers ] insane and you're probably all dealing with the repercussions of that at the moment so I wish you the best of luck!

Juuusst, to anyone actively using the network at the moment, please do not be alarmed if you hear something, uh, out of ordinary, so to speak? We picked up a bit of a disturbance and the source seems to be from the ship itself, not anyone on the network. If you do happen to hear it, you will probably be a bit alarmed at the sudden noise. Please please, do not panic and try not to go looking for the source because like I said, it's from the ship. Stay in your groups, stay in your camps, don't do anything stupid.

[ or at least, they think it's from the ship. There's not actually much of a source but he's at least sure that the screaming isn't coming from anyone on the ship. ]

Anyway, yeah, there's your warning. We'll be watching the channels from here to keep track of ... whatever it is. Good luck!

[ AUGGIE'S SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE ENCRYPTION 100%; FILTERED TO COMMUNICATIONS DEPT + EVERYONE NATHAN SENT A MESSAGE TO ]

So. Screams, huh?

[ hey, at least it's to the point ]

Comments

text | sweatervengers

[starked]

i just had to blackmail him to shut him up. i reserve the right to punch him and spill his secret, no offense chapel, if he doesn't keep it under lock.

and i know he does. but cambridge making that announcement. think about it.

[ TONY SHUT UP. JUST SHUT UP. ]

text | private | 1/2

[tarheel]

YOU WHAT.

voice | private

[tarheel]

Fuck this noise, I'm not having this conversation via text.

I'm not saying Cambridge is a good spokesperson for anything, because he's not, but really? Blackmail was your solution? Tell me you're not that completely fucking stupid.

[ honeybadger is PISSED OFF. ]

voice | private

[starked]

[ everything is going wrong right now. ]

I'm that completely fucking stupid. Were you and Oxford having any luck getting him to stop? Did you have a better way to get the technopath who, last I checked, could carry out his 'in five minutes I'm telling the ship' threat? [ ALL THE DINO NOISES. ] It was the only solution that was almost guaranteed to work. And excuse me if I'm not in the mood to deal with another mess at the moment on this ship.

voice | private | ALSO ENCRYPTED WHOOPS

[tarheel]

[ BUT REALLY, WHAT DID YOU THINK THAT WAS GOING TO ACCOMPLISH. at least chapel's yelling in private rather than in front of the entire comms department and the axvengers and the science hipsters. ]

There are so many things wrong with that plan, I don't even know where to start, but okay. Last time I checked, you were still Iron Man, which means you're pretty high on the list of people who are susceptible to technopathy—and then you went and pissed him off.

[ also he swears to god, tony, if you ask him about his superpowers he will punch you into a wall. ]

voice | private | it's private I ASSUMED ANYWAY

[starked]

[ he was actually expecting a good job, tony, thank you for doing the job i really wasn't. ]

You don't think I am aware of that? Look, after all this is through I will talk to him and desperate times call for desperate measures. If Cambridge decides to, I don't know murder me after this, then that's my own fault. I knew there was a risk. Don't insult my intelligence by acting like I didn't.

[ he's not even going to because yours and oxford's powers don't matter to him. ]

I know. Okay. I know I just pissed off a technopath. Not the first person I've pissed off who I shouldn't have and it's not going to the last.

voice | private | ♥

[tarheel]

[ ha ha ha. ]

Well, at this point I can either think you're stupid or think you're suicidal, and I think I prefer stupid.

Cambridge was in the right here; keeping people in the dark doesn't help anyone in the long term, and making a post like this, where Comms will admit that there's a problem but not actually say anything useful, is just making things worse. It's just going to cause more rumors and misinformation to spread—I mean, hell, I only found out what it was from you, under an encryption, because that's an effective way of keeping information from getting out, except when it isn't—and the last thing we need is more fucking secrets on this ship.

I'm not saying that I'd pick Cambridge to be the ideal bearer of bad news about mysterious network screaming, because I wouldn't, but blackmail doesn't exactly let you take the moral high ground here. Not even if you say "desperate times call for desperate measures".

[ honestly, he's got half a mind to tell people himself, because that's one way of breaking the stalemate—and really, what does tony have on him blackmail-wise? ]

voice | private

[starked]

You know who I am, Chapel. Meaning you know both work, depending on who you ask.

[ woah there tony, reel in those feelings right now. ]

Did I ever say explicitly that he wasn't partially in the right? I know we need to tell people. Like I said, I told people the last time I had shit like this. I always do. Which is why I asked if they were going to otherwise I was, once again, going to be the bearer of shitty news. And I don't know if you haven't noticed, but our two biggest secret keepers are at the very top. And then Kirk and Spock and that stupid vampire thing. At least I tell people.

I don't do moral high grounds. What I want you to maybe get here is that yeah he's from home. And yeah, whatever, he's one of two people from home. Do you see my entire team defending me when I say something like that? Do you? Just because you're from the same world and are in some weird thing together doesn't mean you have to do it, Jesus Christ. I just wanted to know how much of a migraine I'm going to get because of this.

[ which is a lie, but at this point, he doesn't care. ]

voice | private

[tarheel]

I'm not defending him because we're in "some weird thing" together, Jesus Christ. I don't know if you noticed, but I don't even like Cambridge half the time—and trust me, there is nobody here any more that I'd defend just because we're coworkers.

[ jfc chapel slow yo roll. ]

Yeah, great, you get points for not emulating Ward and Resnik, good job there, but you're also allowed to let other people deliver shitty news every once in a while. This shouldn't be, and isn't the kind of thing that's worth blackmail over. Also, he can just jack your comms. I'm just sayin'.

voice | private, encrypted 100%

[anomalies]

[ TONY, DO YOU NOT WATCH SCIENCE FICTION!?! OR YOUR OWN COMICS EVEN! THIS IS LIKE REVERSE EXTREMIS! don't ever blackmail the bloody technopath, it only ends in tears and technical difficulties AND MORE TEARS. ]

Look, Tony—I don't think blackmail is exactly gonna help things.

[ he understands, it's a tough position to be in, but... but this isn't the way to do it. ]

voice | private, encrypted 100%

[starked]

[ HOW IN THE FUCK IS HE SUPPOSED TO WATCH HIS OWN COMICS. YOU'RE A MOVIE AHEAD OF HIM, CONNOR. THESE BRACKETS WILL BE HILARIOUS COME JUNE/MAY. LET US ALL REMEMBER THIS. and you do if maybe you are tony stark because when do you make good life choices. he'll regret this later. or maybe have a nice- oh wait no it's cambridge, he'll just regret it later. or send pepper to smooth the ruffled feathers. ]

Too late, already done, and I don't see him telling everyone preemptively.

[ look, he just has like two options and cambridge is a dumb butt, connor. ]

voice | private, encrypted 100%

[anomalies]

[ NOTED. EXTREMIS-LY. you exist here, tony, to make all the bad decisions for everyone else—so they don't have to. (no, that's not true, connor makes plenty himself, but this is sort of the cherry on top. at the moment.)

yeah, it is cam, but putting two angry bulls in a china shop together does not a unharmed china shop make. and you guys? you guys are the angry bulls. ]

I know, I just—I don't want you to get hurt over this, alright? Secrets don't help anyone. Trust me, I know.

[ says the pseudo-hypocrite. ]

voice | private, encrypted 100%

[starked]

[ there's just a very long sigh on tony's end before he just finally says something.

and that's why he's sending in pepper. she will de-bullify shit. ]

Trust is something you already have from me that I don't need for that. If I get hurt— it's my own fault. This isn't like the risk I took with Jaye. I'm fully prepared to get hurt on this one.

voice | private, encrypted 100%

[anomalies]

[ massaging his temples, tbh. how did this even happen—oh yeah, that's right, he linked you. ]

I get that, but that doesn't mean I'm not still, y'know. [ work with him here. ] Concerned.

Anyway, you probably don't wanna hear it, so I'll just... you know what, forget I said anything. Well, not all of it, but—

[ augh ]

Sorry. Let's just drop it.

text | sweatervengers { what are encryptions you saw nothing

[andblockbuster]

[And then the littlest amoral sweater hipster spoke up.]

as much as i hate that we're resorting to that now, i have never seen a situation where blackmail didn't work. either the other guy freaks out or you end up stalemating because neither of you can ruin the other without the other retaliating.

text | sweatervengers { what i saw what nothing happend idk what you're talking about

[anomalies]

that's not the point - blackmail isn't exactly ideal for anyone, unless you're lex luthor. i don't want to see anyone get hurt because of it.

text | sweatervengers { you also didn't see me fail to edit a subject line.

[andblockbuster]

not to be the sketchy business practice apologist guy here, but... people are probably gonna get hurt either way. if cambridge blabs, people will panic and start hounding him to ferret out the rest of the crap we've been hiding.

like uh.

that thing.

text | sweatervengers { i saw nossing!

[anomalies]

right. so there's no real solution, but... it'd be nice if there were.

what thing?

[ sorry there's no thing he doesn't know what you're talking about. nope.

... seriously, though, nobody else knows about that but him. what thing. ]

text | sweatervengers

[andblockbuster]

[That moment when Topher realizes CONNOR WASN'T THERE WHEN THAT HAPPENED. FUCK. HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW EVERY PERSON TONY'S EVER KEPT ON THOSE ENCRYPTIONS.]

did i say thing? i meant things. plural. as in a combination of all the variation things that creep us out starting with hellbeasts, gaining ground with smiley, and ending with our friend the mysterious Mr. or Ms. T.

and also the entire ship is blood mist during jumps. that might as well be a thing.

text | sweatervengers

[starked]

topher no.

text | sweatervengers

[andblockbuster]

so personally i think you should punch him.

him being cambridge.

text | sweatervengers | auggie and everyone else, good luck getting into this unhackable forever

[starked]

topher. remember they weren't there for my suit adventure.

okay well in the interest of having you both not yell at me some more. i had recorded something like this with the suit way back a few jumps ago and i released the audio feed i got to the...public.

[ waits for the realization to happen in five, four, three, two...one. ]

text | sweatervengers | auggie and everyone else, good luck getting into this unhackable forever

[tarheel]

that's where the screaming .wav came from? i can't decide if that's brilliant or if i still hate you because apparently this is a RECURRING PROBLEM WITH YOU.

(it's not yelling, it's capslock. deal with it.)

text | sweatervengers | doot doot UNHAXORBLE

[anomalies]

hang on, that was the jump i got back - i said i'd try and take a closer look at the audio for you, try and isolate anything that seemed weird, with the... screaming.

[ and then...

... it dawns on him. ]

there was another part, wasn't there. a part you didn't want everyone to know about.

[totally not here]

[cargojet]

[ Not in this encryption but if he was he would tell you guys that you are dicks and at least Comms only intended to keep this secret for a day or two.

Not months.

Dicks. That is all. ]