ataraxion | four (text)

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four (text)

[She knows there are kids on board but Bela doesn't give a damn at the moment as she texts:]

Just when I thought this place couldn't get any more fucked up.

Private text to medical personnel. Encrypted.

I need sleeping pills. How do I go about acquiring some?

Please.

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It was a very real nightmare. You could interact with the environment and things could hurt you easily. I don't blame you for feeling overwhelmed because I did too so don't apologise. Say whatever you need to in order to get it off your chest. Might make you feel better.

This place is wearing on my last nerve as well.

i'm not usually much of a venter, guess i'm just not used to it. normally by now i'd be halfway through a bottle of some gross space vodka but i can't even bring myself to drink because i feel like the minute i'm not focused is when something horrible will happen. again. i don't think i ever really let my guard down here, not for more than a couple hours or whatever, you know, but this whole thing just threw me into overdrive. every little noise freaks me out. i feel ridiculous. i'm used to feeling paranoid, but not freaking -scared- of everything.

I'll admit that I have turned to drink in order to cope. It only really began once I came here. Before then, I was just a social drinker, the occasional glass of wine and champagne.

But I understand. You do feel like you've to be on your guard 24/7 here because the moment you lose that focus, something will hit you.

You've been through a traumatic experience. No one would expect you to recover instantly from that. This ship, whatever that fog was played on people's fears, made them real.

I am so close to giving up.

yeah, but we can't give up. and i don't think you really would. we're smarter than that, right? i mean, there's some part of me that recognizes that. even if the rest is completely messed up right now. can't give up.

We are, I know. I'm just overwhelmed and spouting out whatever. Maybe I need time to try and process everything, find some way to deal with it.

definitely get you there. ugh, i dunno. i'm getting to the point where i just want to close myself up in a simulation room and make it look like a stupid virtual beach and pretend to not be here anymore. i think that'd be good. or you know, hopping one of those shuttles and just getting as far away from this ship as i can. even if it's just more space.

The simulation room mightn't be a terrible idea. It's quite realistic despite being as a result of computer programming.

Would you even know how to fly one of those shuttles? I was inside one of them at Strela and it looked a little complicated.

for me, the beach is all about the smell and the sounds. i'm not sure those things even get that complex. but. hm. i was kinda just joking, but maybe i will do that. oh, nah, that was definitely just me talking shit. i don't think i would even know how to turn on the ignition if i got into one of those things. is it even called the ignition? thrusters. now i'm just spewing star trek vocabulary.

It's the sun and the cocktails for me. Lying on a lounger and soaking up rays. Do whatever you think will help, sweetie.

Probably some high-tech fancy name or something. You should ask Kirk or his second in command.

Thrusters sounds incredibly dirty to me.

hah! yeah it does sound dirty. but that's like, an action figure catch-phrase for those guys. "mr. sulu, prepare to engage thrusters".

[ yeah she definitely just said that in her best Shatner voice as she typed it. ]

jokes aside though, maybe i will look into learning. not like do much else around here. maybe somebody would be willing to show me the basics.

There's a Sulu on board here, isn't there? Wait, so they're not real where you're from?

Still sounds dirty no matter what.

[Clearly, Bela has never seen Star Trek. But she slept with Kirk and he is very real.]

I think if you asked, someone would be able to help. I'm actually interested in learning myself.

is there? there might be. i tend to try and avoid reading and watching their posts cause it's always hard not to be like "hey i know you!" but yeah, nah. it was a TV show where i'm from. then a movie. came out right before the virus hit, actually. [ Wichita can't tell if that means she's from a world without Star Trek, or if she's just that cool that she doesn't even know about it. shit. BECOOLBECOOL. ]

I'll ask around. we could probably convince somebody to give us lessons.

Edited (f u html) 2012-10-10 01:54 (UTC)

Yes, he's the helmsman or something. I won't say anything to any of them though. I just find it really strange that it's a possibility in the first place.

[Bela didn't watch much television or movies. She read mostly. But science fiction wouldn't be her thing.]

Between the two of us, I think we'll manage.

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