ataraxion | ☩ ００２．ｔｅｘｔ

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☩ ００２．ｔｅｘｔ

[ She has not slept. Shutting her eyes brought figures out of the darkness: a cardinal with eyes as crimson as his robes, her brother bleeding out of his own portrait and another figure who often visited her in her nightmares, a dead prince reaching out to her without being able to voice a word. She wept and screamed until she began to fear she might be going mad with grief.

Her mother once said that half of Lucrezia's illnesses come from her heart, not her body. Now, her heart is broken and she is certain she is ill. She reaches for her firefly; the second time she addresses the network could not have been more different than the first. ]

If one dreams of another who has died and he

in the dream, the one who died tries to speak and is unable, he is mute even though he spoke words as pretty as poetry when he lived

does that mean he passed without having said something he wished to?

does it come to imply that she who dreams of him has not listened well enough when he lived? that she had not been sweet enough of a friend?

was it her fault

Will he remain thus forever? desperate and mute in her dreams?

I do not think I can bear it, I

is there a physician abroad this ship? I fear I have fallen quite ill.

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[Edgeworth looks at this and swallows. He knows what he thinks; he knows what he believes to be the truth. But he is not going to say such a thing to her.]

Madam,

Modern science has indicated that when we dream, we do so because of nothing more than our own anxieties. There is no deeper meaning to the dream. All that it means is that we worry about what we see within them.

There are several physicians here; I should be happy to contact them on your behalf.

Regards,
M. Edgeworth

I have been told that dreams only hold power over us, if we allow them to.

It's just a dream. It doesn't have to mean anything and whatever happened in real life, it couldn't be your fault. That doesn't mean it's any less frightening, though. You're just worried about him, that's what it sounds like. That makes you more than a friend in the real world. Do you need help getting to the Medbay?

Dreams are a curious thing. There's more people linked with dreams than you realize.

Edited 2012-10-05 03:28 (UTC)

It ain't your fault, Lucrezia. Don't worry none, I'm sure your folks're fine.

You had nightmares too?

It's certainly been an unsettling week, I must say.

[Has it been a week? He has no idea. All he knows is he's tired and stressed.]

To the Lady Lucrezia, uniquely lovely in her name,

I am more sorry than I can say that the strange affliction that passed through the Tranquility did not spare you, and that you continue to be troubled by bad dreams. I am sorry, too, for the loss of this friend of whom you speak: the death of any friend is a sad weight on a heart.

I am not well-versed in augury, nor astrology, nor the interpretation of dreams, though I have known and heard the predictions of many seers and charlatans, too. I have seen prophecies come to fruition too many times to disbelieve their power, but likewise I have seen true predictions sorely misunderstood and used as justification for terrible action or inaction. Even a true seer may not understand his own words for many years.

Likewise, not every dream can be meaningful. Some are, no doubt, but others are mere nonsense, or the warped reflections of the fears and sorrows of our waking mind.

I would say it is not in you to bear guilt in any way that ought to trouble your mind, being so kindhearted and sweet-tempered. And indeed I do believe that you would never do harm intentionally, especially to one you called a friend, and I doubt you could have failed someone in friendship. But I know well that one may contribute unwillingly or unknowingly, for good or for evil, to the destinies of those around, especially if one holds high rank or is surrounded by those with great power. So I shall not say it is impossible. But only the gods know all, and we mortals can only act as we must, and as we believe in our hearts, in that moment, to be best, and hope they judge us according to our intentions.

I do not believe you can know the precise meaning of your dream, if indeed it was meaningful at all. Perhaps if there were others here from your world you might be able to compare visions, or question their memories of your friend's loss, but perhaps not. Nor is there any clear way to set matters right, in this place, if it could somehow be determined how they were awry. This may be difficult to accept. It is a part of life, I have found, that as we live we must carry with us the ghosts of those who have not survived beside us, and this may be both a comfort, for the fond memories we carry, and a curse, for those we view with regret or simple sadness at their loss.

As for fault, if you did not willingly or knowingly act to hurt someone, I do not think you need fear yourself guilty, especially in the absence of any further reason to suspect yourself.

If I were you, I would pray for your friend, and perform such rituals as your god finds suitable for the wellbeing of the dead, and then take comfort and go forward with a heart at peace, knowing you have done all you can.

And if I may ever be of any assistance to you, dear Lucrezia, you have only to ask.

Tiberius Claudius Drusus Nero Germanicus

[Josias had told her about the terrible things that happened on the ship, even if it hadn't been much of a warning. Now he wonders if she has experienced some of that first hand and hopes it isn't the case, hopes her brightness won't be dulled by it.]

Dreams are just dreams. Products of our minds. I believe the only truth in this is that you cared for him a great deal, and that his death weighs on you.

Hey, here. My name's Dr. Banner-- you can call me Bruce, though. Can you tell me about your symptoms?

[ it's been a while since india and his stint of healing based redemption, but it's easy to be right back there again. bruce doesn't often appear confident or take charge; science and medicine are the exceptions because whether it's physical or not, something is clearly wrong here. ]

Edited 2012-10-05 14:06 (UTC)

I think it means it's a dream. Besides, how would the knowledge of what his last regrets were manage to seed itself into your subconscious unless you knew already?

Then there'd be no point in asking.

Edited 2012-10-05 15:28 (UTC)

There are dreams and dreams, girl. They will not stop so easily.

[ perhaps... speaking from experience. ]

Can you tell me what's wrong? I'm one of the doctors on staff. I'd like to help, if I can.

dreams are just dreams

[a pause, almost as if that's all there is to say. but it seems really unfair, all of it, so, then:]

you could stop having dreams if you wanted
but i heard that led to madness
so perhaps just distraction would be better

[It's not well-written by most means, but he's careful with each word.]

to lose a voice important to you

i would not feel any different

has someone come to see you?

Edited 2012-10-06 23:09 (UTC)

Such dreams are most commonly a manifestation of one's most significant fears.

Instead of believing he parted from you without saying something of great importance, perhaps the matter is, that there is something you had wished him to speak of before his loss.

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