All right, here's the thing.

[ "Here" is punctuated by one Jayne Cobb leaning forward and poking at the camera lens. ]

Lots of you are terrible shots. Since Wes is gone [ grumpy bastard; Jayne liked him anyway and will pour one out -- or drink it -- for him later ] that means no one's probably goin' around pointin' out that the gunnery crew'll teach ya how to be better shots or else make sure you stop touchin' weaponry 'cause we don't want to get shot in the ass.

Anyway. You want to learn to shoot an' take care of your gun, you let us know. That's me an' Ric an' Natasha an' Wichita. I got a few people who've asked me already, so I figured I'd extend the invitation out. Some of us can probably help ya with other weaponry, if ya ask nice. If one of them don't want to teach it... I don't know. Hit 'em until they say yes or until they knock y'out, whichever comes first.

[ And this is why no one should let Jayne anywhere near his communicator. ]

[Charles appears in the vid screen, looking, well, he is wearing clothing that appears better suited to him at least, but there's certainly a heaviness to him that has not been there before, for anyone who's interacted with the man before. He's holding a bit of creased paper in his hand , and starring heavily at it for a moment, as he's spent the last several days starring at it, before he glances up into the screen, his gaze quite haunted. ]

"If it had been otherwise; I never should have used the longer opportunity..."

If it had been otherwise, he says.

Forgive me, but I've had news from...home I suppose,[It's odd to think of what to call where he came from now that he knows there is no way way.] that I've not known what to do with or been ready to share with anyone until now.

My...I do not know what to call him...

[Carton was a friend though, in the end truly, if the pieces Charles has put together are correct, which they must be. His drugging and his waking here, the letter that he found, the letter Carton had ordered him to begin writing after they swapped clothing. Together they point to a obvious conclusion Charles had been too stunned at being on the ship to process last month, and that conclusion is, if nothing else, striking.]


My friend , though he would not have said such to me or allowed it to be said of him in his lifetime, has done something incredibly stupid, incredibly brave and incredibly undeserved by me and even if I were to return home, there is no way that I could ever begin to thank him for it.

Though none of you know him, of course, it must be said at least, that Sydney Carton gave his life for mine, and I have known no better, truer friend than he.

In the memory of a good man who has given me more, and deserves more than I could ever return to him, in either that world or this, I would be honored if anyone who wishes to would join me for a glass in the pub tomorrow evening.

[A drink for anyone who wants to toast to Carton. Well. At least it's something that the man may like.]

[There is an orange-skinned girl on the feed with white facial tattoos. Please do not adjust your communication devices, she is actually orange. Since her arrival she's shed her many layers of clothes and right now she appears to be in the lift.]

I'm Padawan Ahsoka Tano. For those of you who are wondering, I am an alien. A species called a Togruta. I'm also a Jedi apprentice and helping out in the shuttlebay.

[She hasn't been sleeping well for the last six days but that shouldn't give her hallucinations already. Which means what she saw was real. Plus hallucinations don't try to lock her in her room.]

Master Kenobi, Skyguy. We've got a bit of a problem. There's this droid, an R3 unit that's sort of out to get us on board the ship. He's a Sep spy and a stubby, little back-stabber. I can catch him but I don't have the skills to reprogram him.

Everyone else should be on the lookout for a gold and black droid - he looks exactly like Artooie except for the color. Don't let him near anything he can sabotage. If you see him electric shocks work best to put him out of commission. Try not to shoot him or slice him in half. Stubby can be a big help once he's not working against us.

[Text]

Will eating a burnt cake make you sick?

[Video]

[There is then a shot of the cake in question. You can see Chell in one of the kitchens as she arranges the screen to show off the burnt chocolate thing in a pan. Nope, doesn't look edible. She may try anyway. Because her cake.

No really this is important.]