[ The feed opens to Sherlock seated at his lab table with finger steepled, smiling in a way that seems almost pleasant if not for the inherent sense of smouldering rage in his eyes. Oh yes, he is a wee bit peeved. And do you know why, Tranquility? Because someone is taking his shit. ]

Good afternoon. I require some assistance in the gathering of suspects after a theft of a personal item despite the constant and clearly ineffective presence of security roaming the halls like a herd of stray cats. It's a matter I would prefer to handle personally, in any rate.

[ Seeing as, you know, he maybe sort of kind of stole the stuff from the Science Department first, but who really cares about the semantics? And anyway he could handle the back and forth of snatching items with whoever's involved up until his precious electron microscope was stolen. He loved that scope. That was too far. ]

The man I'm looking for is unusually tall - I'd say just shy of two metres - aged somewhere in the range of his early fifties. Physically fit, impeccable posture and hair that's, oh, I'd say waist length with some charming hints of gray. Personality-wise I would say I'm in search of a self-important megalomaniac with a God complex. If you know anyone of that description and could be so kind as to send them my way I would most appreciative.

[ He then leans forward, eyes narrowing at the screen. ]

And if you are the man I'm looking for and you'd like your highly detailed notes returned please feel free to contact me personally.

[ With another overly-friendly smile, he leans forward and ends the feed. ]

[Santa Claus is on the network, ladies and gents. Complete with white fluffy beard, the red suit trimmed with white and adorned with big white puff balls that are supposed to be mockeries of buttons. He smiles, then takes off his hat and the beard to reveal that he's just Larry Butz, laughing.] 

Hayley said we were gonna have Sintermas or Sinterthing or whatever it's called, which is like Christmas. So it's a good thing I got this from the last jump, huh?

[Larry waves the Santa hat to illustrate his point. Then - brace yourselves - he breaks into song with his own little parody of a certain famous Christmas carol. His singing voice is...uh...not too terrible, but it's not good at all and he tends to hit the wrong notes at times.]

Dashing through the stars,
On board the Tranquility,
We're gonna go really far...

...

[He stops right after that, though, scratching his head. His grin becomes more sheepish.]

I...I dunno what comes next. Oh well, I hope everyone's been nice this year, 'cause we all know what happens when you've been naughty!

[A beat. The grin fades into a more clueless look. He says the next several words more to himself than to the network.]

I wonder if we have any coal...or anything to make gifts with...

[Private to Phoenix Wright]

[Larry's voice is more worried now, and has an edge of urgency.] Nick! Have you seen Maya? I can't call her up or anything...