• 002 → video •

[abductivereasoning]

[ The feed opens to Sherlock seated at his lab table with finger steepled, smiling in a way that seems almost pleasant if not for the inherent sense of smouldering rage in his eyes. Oh yes, he is a wee bit peeved. And do you know why, Tranquility? Because someone is taking his shit. ]

Good afternoon. I require some assistance in the gathering of suspects after a theft of a personal item despite the constant and clearly ineffective presence of security roaming the halls like a herd of stray cats. It's a matter I would prefer to handle personally, in any rate.

[ Seeing as, you know, he maybe sort of kind of stole the stuff from the Science Department first, but who really cares about the semantics? And anyway he could handle the back and forth of snatching items with whoever's involved up until his precious electron microscope was stolen. He loved that scope. That was too far. ]

The man I'm looking for is unusually tall - I'd say just shy of two metres - aged somewhere in the range of his early fifties. Physically fit, impeccable posture and hair that's, oh, I'd say waist length with some charming hints of gray. Personality-wise I would say I'm in search of a self-important megalomaniac with a God complex. If you know anyone of that description and could be so kind as to send them my way I would most appreciative.

[ He then leans forward, eyes narrowing at the screen. ]

And if you are the man I'm looking for and you'd like your highly detailed notes returned please feel free to contact me personally.

[ With another overly-friendly smile, he leans forward and ends the feed. ]

Comments

anon text;

[spider]

Appalling.

S

text;

[abductivereasoning]

[ Really? Still bothering with anon? Well, at least you're consistent. ]

So very glad to hear of your concern for my personal effects. I'm certain you're heartbroken to see evidence of the lax security on this station.
SH

[voice]

[jurisimpudent]

[Right because that's the way to make people want to help you Mr. Holmes. Clipped:]

And how did you compile this description?

voice;

[abductivereasoning]

[ Oh, it's you again. What was your name? Oh, wait, he never bothered to remember. Funny how that happens. ]

The height and gait was easily obtained by the shoe impressions left in the area around my work station that have remained consistent with the removal of my personal effects; when checking my table for prints I was able to confirm both the perpetrator's size and gender with no difficulty. An electron microscope is unwieldy at best but the thief was capable of moving and lifting it with only one hand offering clear evidence that he is in good physical condition, backed further by the number of items he was able to abscond with in a single trip. The hair is blatantly obvious given that he managed to leave a trace of it behind when he made his escape, no trouble there given its proximity to my station and the time of its appearance as compared to the likely window of time wherein my microscope was lifted. As for the personality, well, that's hardly difficult given what he's taken thus far and specifically not taken given that any of my collections of notes - written purely for the benefit of others as I personally have no need of them, so do feel free to have a look at them if you'd ever like to stop sounding as vacant as a hollowed-out townhouse - have remained entirely untouched along with most of the more innocuous pieces in my collection, left in favor of items that are capable of shall we say more "sinister" work. This combined with some of what he's been pouring his efforts into as far as he research paints a fairly clear picture of a man that is, to put it politely, more than a little self-serving, wouldn't you agree?

video.

[shoyu]

[ that physical description sounds rather familiar, truth be told. but -- ]

Member of security speaking, sir. May I ask what led you to that conclusion about the, ah -- criminal's personality?

video;

[abductivereasoning]

[ Admitted one's self as security has certainly earned you a hell of a look down Sherlock's nose, brah. As if dealing with Scotland Yard wasn't bad enough, now he has a whole new staff of idiots to put up with? Fantastic. ]

The gait and physical demeanor of the perpetrator combined with the selection of items he's chosen to remove from my station paint a reasonably clear picture I would have thought, seeing as it's blatantly obvious. But I suppose if you and your fellow officers were keeping a better eye you'd have had a proper look at him yourself.

[ And a proper look at him filching Sci Dept stuff, but he's quite good at taking the long way round, thanks. ]

text

[testgasm]

[ha ha ha

oh man]

i know that guy

text;

[abductivereasoning]

His name?
SH

anon text forever

[ryuuzaki]

Whether or not "Just shy of two meters" qualifies as "unusually tall" is relative.

You can always try to find them after the jump. If you can locate their locker, you can locate their room. Whether or not they're staying in it is another matter.

text;

[abductivereasoning]

Conceded. And given that I hold his collection of notes hostage
I'm confident he'll be in contact sooner rather than later.
SH

100% encrypted, anonymous

[godofthemachine]

[This man... AM has never met him, but he seems to know so much about him. His unique physical description, as well as his "God complex." Unsettling.]

I was merely borrowing it.

I planned to return it when I was done but it seems you took my notes.

text; 100% encrypted

[abductivereasoning]

[ Well look who it is; the thief in the flesh. The smug satisfaction bleeds through even in text. ]

Last I checked there's a bit of a rule of etiquette dictating that
one is supposed to ask permission before borrowing.
SH

[ This will go down in history as one of the most hilariously hypocritical texts Sherlock has ever sent. ]

The notes seemed like the most appropriate form of insurance available.
They'll be returned to you once my microscope is back where it belongs.
SH

text

[hatethehacker]

[Gosh, AM. What a loser. hahaha...ha... ha.]

Oh. What a shame you can't find him.

text;

[abductivereasoning]

I never said I couldn't find him. One can just consider this a kindness
in offering him the chance to meet on amenable terms.
SH

Text

[atmnumber0001]

Stealing the alleged thief's things in return? Tsk, tsk. You would both be equally guilty in the eyes of the law.

As for the ineffective security, oh believe me I've tried to help them. The head of the team just refuses to listen.

text;

[abductivereasoning]

How fortunate for me that rather being at the mercy of the court
I remain trapped on a heap of metal propelling rapidly through
space. There is no use helping the hopeless; organized law
enforcement is rarely up to snuff no matter where one finds
one's self.
SH

text

[webline]

self-absorbed dude with crazy long gray hair.

can't be that hard to find.

text;

[abductivereasoning]

One would be surprised — but I've not found him because I've yet
to actually try. He'll out himself before I need to bother.
SH

video;

[invalided]

[ don't say brilliant don't say fantastic don't say amazing you can do this, John, they are just deductions. ]

Something important?

video;

[abductivereasoning]

[ Oh yes, there's that look. He's rather missed that look, actually, now that he's seeing it again. Much better than the look he got while standing on a rooftop, isn't it? ]

My electron microscope. My personal electron microscope, programmed to my individual specifications, might I add. So yes, very.

text; 1/2

[purrfectlycute]

:33 < a thief you say?
:33 < this sounds like the purrfect job fur a ROGUE >:33
:33 < the great catsby is on the case!
:33 < *the sleuthing madame dons her hat*
:33 < *looks like the hunt is on*
:33 < *fur the record, the rogue says curtly, a herd of cats is a purrfectly effective security force if their den is threatened*
:33 < *and THIS cat certainly thinks this case is a little too close to her territory fur comfurt*

text; 2/2

[purrfectlycute]

:33 < um if i may ask
:33 < which sherlock holmes are you??
:33 < i mean... have i met you befur?
:33 < theres the furst who was mr. holmes and he was older and then there was sherlock and then he died and then theres sh and
:33 < im trying very hard to diffurentiate betw33n you all and k33p a sense individuality
:33 < but
:33 < omigosh
:33 < its like im in a time line inhabited entirely by sherlocks
:33 < its the land of formaldehyde and ch33kbones
:33 < sorry i dont mean to offend theres just
:33 < so
:33 < many
:33 < sherlocks
:33 < too many holmes on the dance floor :((

[meddler]

[ You know... ]

Does he have a beard?

[ It doesn't exactly fit the description, but you can never trust some people on this ship. ]

[abductivereasoning]

If he had a beard, I believe I would have said at some point in my description, "Oh, by the way, he has a beard".

[ He is giving the Doctor an appraising look, however. Quite an interesting face you have there, sir. He's never seen anything quite like it. Which is why the feed is still going with him just... staring. Thoughtfully. ]

[voice]

[savethebullshit]

Just for future reference, if you're hoping for help from Security any time in the near future, it might be a stupid move to criticize their performance over the network like a spoiled kid.

voice;

[abductivereasoning]

I worked alongside Scotland Yard for five years and I can't think of a single situation where I found myself in need of their "help"; in fact, it was always the other way 'round. Subsequently I doubt I'll run crying to Security any time soon, though your concern is touching.

voice;

[ringbearer]

[ oh it's..that guy who cornered him in the lockers. ]
What was taken from you?